Minivans and Mystery Machines: the 1961-1967 Ford E-Series Van

Inspired by yesterday’s brightly painted Ford minivan, I’ve lined up another couple of Ford minivans for today.

These two are the original generation of the Ford E-series, or Econoline vans, though notably smaller than the massive vehicles that the E series vans are these days.  In fact, the modern reincarnation of the 1961-1967 E series is probably closer to the Ford Transit Connect than a brand new E-series.

These ‘61-67 vans are kind of cool with their unique brand of ugliness.  They are front engine vehicles that were powered throughout the span of their run by inline 6 cylinder engines.  Originally, a 2.4L (144 cubic inch) I6 sat above the front axle, sending 85 HP and 138 lb-ft of torque down the driveshaft to the rear wheels.

Because both the engine and the driver sat above the front axle of the rig, a 165 pound counter weight was placed along the rear of the van to balance it out.  These were actually pretty light weight machines due mostly to unibody construction that used the body as part of its framework.  They weighed in at just about 2,500 lbs.

This van was based on the Ford Falcon, and the 8 passenger version of it with 3 rows of seating was called the Falcon van. It’s actually smaller than most minivans you’ll see these days, being more on par with the VW microbus than modern minivans.  But of course, the V-dub had its engine in the rear.

The two we have today are both cargo van versions of the original E-series Ford van, but it could also be had in truck form and, as mentioned before, in passenger “Falcon Van” form.

I did some shopping around, and most of what I found were the truck versions of the 61-67 E-series, which ranged anywhere from around $3,000 for one that was in horrible, probably non-running condition and needed body work, interior work, and paint, up to around $19,000 for a custom and upgraded one in beautiful condition.  The stuff in between ranged from about $6,000-$12,000 for presentable specimens with decent paint.

Both these vans appear to be the same paint color, though the Mystery Machine probably had a respray prior to the application of the graphics (or more likely, it was just wrapped, but I bet its door sills are that same powder blue).  The Mystery Machine is also the older of the two vans, which we can tell from the little circular tail lights.  The less mysterious powder blue van has the vertical, rectangular tail lights that you’d see on a 1967 model.  They are certainly eye catching -especially the Mystery Machine van, which is being used to advertise for a graphics company.  I blurred out their contact info, but if somebody would like it, send me a message and I’ll give it to you.  I’m just a little wary of posting phone numbers and email addresses on line -even if they are being advertised to the public on a van.

I think these vans are cool, while at the same time, they spare their drivers from being clumped in with the rabid VW bus fanatic types.  I’d drive one to haul stuff around.  

Graffiti and Custom Automobile Paint: Blight or Art?

I was looking through some photos for today’s post and found some shots I took this past fall while out walking along in my neighborhood with my trusty little pup, Pavlov.

My area of town has some issues with urban decay, and one of the signs of this is graffiti.  I don’t mind graffiti art, but a lot of the stuff that I come across is not what I would consider art -particularly when an apparently functionally illiterate person spray paints it on the side of my garage or on neighborhood fixtures…  I’ve seen some pretty bad graffiti, wherein the “artist” has attempted to make a statement about something but ends up instead making a statement about the sad state of public education, or lack thereof.  In this case, I’m talking about profanity being misspelled -particularly depressing considering so much of it is only four letters long.  I’ll spare you the nasty stuff, but I can’t tell you how sad I felt for the poor soul who so desperately wanted to communicate his displeasure with some rival gang by spray painting the gang’s name followed by “Is A Ass-whole”.  I don’t normally like to pick apart grammatical and spelling errors, but when they’re put on display for the public to see in large, painted format, it becomes so glaringly incorrect that I can’t help but find it offensive.  In truth, I’m bothered more by the grammar and spelling than what the artist was actually trying to communicate.  After all, I don’t doubt that several, if not all the members of the street gang that was being called out in spray paint are in fact, assholes.

For your viewing pleasure, I have gathered some photos of the graffiti that Pavlov and I toured on our stroll last fall.  It’s not exactly high quality, but then again, it’s probably a little more pure in terms of being real, fueled-by despair and desperation graffiti than some stenciled and carefully planned art piece by a person with gallery representation.

This graffiti’s off-the-beaten-path locale, complete with remnants of homeless camps, broken booze bottles, and drug paraphernalia suggests to me that it was likely done by somebody who has and continues to endure a rather hard life rather than some angsty poser from the suburbs who buys his graffiti supplies at Dick Blick and fancies himself the next Banksy.

Some call it urban blight, but when it’s on structures that have been largely abandoned, I don’t really mind graffiti -provided it is executed by somebody with even just a little bit of talent and vision and that it’s not on somebody‘s personal property or a residence.   Heck, in some cases, the structure that has been tagged is so run down and decrepit or was designed with such bland or absent aesthetic sensibilities that the graffiti is an improvement.  But enough about things that are symptomatic of a lack of opportunities and concentration poverty in just one area of town.  It’s time to bring this back around to what we’re here for: CARS!!!

While I was browsing through my photo dump, I plucked out a few examples of automobiles with varying degrees of “art” adorning their finishes.  We’ll browse them and see how they stack up.  My criteria for what makes the best of these is based on whether I would prefer a totally stock version of the same vehicle to the custom/graffiti/art version of it.  Feel free to make up your own rules when deciding which you like best.

First up, we have a 1950 Ford F1 pickup truck.  This one wears more of a pattern than actual graffiti, but it certainly stands out, as it would even if you parked it in the middle of a field packed with zebras.

The Ford F1 is considered to be the grandfather of the modern Ford F-series of trucks, which has made Ford a bunch of money over the years.  F1s represented a new direction for the company.  Ford gave their trucks their own platform instead of basing them on their cars.  They also took steps to make their trucks a little easier to live with in terms of creature comforts.

For power, the F1 came standard with a 226 cubic inch  6 cylinder that made 95 HP and 180 lb ft of torque.  One could upgrade to a 239 cubic inch flathead V8 with 100 HP as well.  A 3 speed manual transmission was standard, but a 4 speed could be had as well.  In 1950, a Zebra print paint job was definitely not standard, nor offered as an option.  This is all on the owner of this truck.  So, whether you like it or you hate it, that’s who you have to thank for it.

Our next graffiti inspired car is no less garish than our little zebra print friend, and it, too, is a Ford product…. It even has a zebra on it, so it kind of matches our truck.

Underneath all that paint is what I believe to be a mid 2000’s Ford Freestar minivan.  This is a front wheel drive rig powered by a 3.9L V6 that’s good for 193 HP and 240 lb-ft of torque.  It’s pretty much a straight forward, no frills, grocery getter and kid hauler.

 I would guess that the owner of this minivan would consider their vehicle an “art car”.  Okay, fine.  I’ll let them have that.  I wouldn’t really consider this much of an automotive travesty, though I wouldn’t call it an improvement, either.  After all, it’s not like the Ford Freestar was hot stuff to begin with.

In terms of art, this vehicle is what I would equate with artwork that is produced when a person buys an old painting on velvet or faded hotel room print from a thrift store, then paints over the top of it, or embellishes it with their own contributions.

Next up we have a tuner car that I would posit is a 2006 or so Honda Accord coupe.  This car has been heavily modified (check out the nitrous tanks in the back seat!) and has an after market body kit as well as a custom paint job.

I'm not sure just what has been done to this vehicle, but originally, it featured a 2.4L I4 with 166 HP and 160 lb-ft of torque.

That “Type S” badge it wears on its rear end is not something it would have come with from the factory as far as I know (although I’m not a Honda expert by any means).  I would guess this guy got that badge off an Acura RSX type S because he figured it looked cool, and anyway, Acuras are really just glorified Hondas anyway.

Clearly, the owner of this Honda put a bunch of money into its looks, and apparently he really likes skulls.

 He also invested in its performance as well. Of the vehicles we’re looking at today, this one would appear to have been planned out and executed with the most precision.

Given my pick between this Accord coupe and a stock version of the same car, I’d definitely choose this one, so I think it’s the winner for the day.

Right of Way: My Mustang vs. A Honda Civic

Well, it happened....

My perfect little pony has been blemished by a Honda Civic.  Thankfully, nobody was injured… aside from the cars, that is.  The first thing I did after pulling my car off to the side of the road to prevent another vehicle from coming along and hitting it was to make a note of the plate number on the car that hit mine.  It's something that came reflexively after my other Mustang got rear ended by a hit and run driver a few years ago.  I noticed right away that the car that hit mine was a late 90's Honda Civic, so I was extra quick to get the plate, just in case it took off.  Not that Honda Civics are bad or that their drivers flee scenes of accidents all the time, but that is one of the most commonly stolen cars out there, and if this one was being driven by somebody who didn't come by the vehicle honestly, the chances were high that they wouldn't stick around after the accident.  Readers may recall a review I did of a 1998 Honda Civic last year, when I borrowed it to make a late night road trip to fetch my car keys that accidentally traveled to Iowa in somebody's pocket.  Anyway, that particular Civic from the review had been stolen several times before, and has since been traded in on a brand new Odyssey minivan by its owner.

Luckily, the Honda Civic that hit mine was not stolen, nor did the driver flee the scene. The other guy and I exchanged information, but he wanted to wait around for the police to show up, even though we each had what we needed to complete a State Accident Report form.  That was a decision he ended up regretting, because the responding officer told the other driver that he was at fault for the accident for not yielding right of way to me because I was on his right at the intersection.

In fairness to the other guy, though, this was in a suburb that apparently does not believe in posting stop or yield signs at its intersections, so the guy probably just figured he didn't need to check to his right before going through the intersection.  He got kind of defensive when the officer told him his insurance policy would probably be paying for my damage because I had the right of way, making him at fault.

Spare Honda parts scattered on the roadway

Then the other driver got upset that he only has liability insurance, so the damage to his own car (or rather, his sister’s car that he was driving at the time) wouldn’t be covered by his policy.  I guess he figures this is my problem, even though I had no say in his or his sister’s selection of insurance coverage.  Considering that the other car was a late 90’s Honda Civic, I pretty much figured that it would only have liability insurance, because the age and condition of the vehicle is such that it doesn't really make financial sense to keep full coverage due to how little the car is worth relative to the cost of full coverage insurance.

I told him that because we both have the same insurance company, albeit through different agencies, that they’ll likely try to recoup their losses and then some by raising rates on both of us.  I added that at least everybody involved was okay, which is about the best we could hope for aside from never having crossed paths in the first place.  It didn't console him much and he was still unhappy when we left (not that anybody at that scene was what one would call “happy” about the situation).  I gave my insurance agent a heads up about the situation so they can be prepared if he tries to make a claim against my policy (which will probably not fly given the right of way situation and the fact that the police report backs that up), and called his insurance agent to start a claim on his policy.  Now I’ll have to find a reputable local body shop to fix the damage on my car.

Aw, hell, look at my poor little pony!  Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning, you know?    

The Perils Of Winter Motoring: A Rant

Well, this is just great…  I had all kinds of plans for posts this week and even had the photos to go with them.  Then I lost the cable for my camera.  Usually this wouldn’t be a problem, because I could just pull out the memory card and use a card reader to transfer them.  In this instance, I’m dealing with my super portable, sleek, tiny little Nikon that has not only an internal battery, but also an internal memory, so there’s no card.  If I don’t have the cable, I can’t charge the little camera, nor can I transfer my photos to anything else….  Did I mention that I can’t just pop in to Best Buy or Radio Shack to pick up a replacement cable?  Well, I can’t.  The little fitting on the end of the cable is a proprietary design that the company will not sell in stores unless you want to buy a whole other camera to get a new one.  Thanks a lot, Nikon.  This is what I get for years of loyalty and being on my 5th Nikon camera?  Would it have been so bad to just keep it simple and use a regular mini USB port?  Well, whatever.  I’m ordering a new cable from Amazon, and until it gets here, those grand plans of mine will have to hold.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some simple lessons about winter car survival, because, well, there’s a whole bunch of snow on the ground here in Minneapolis, and I just didn’t feel like looking too far for inspiration today.

*The temperature displayed on the screen here wasn’t today’s temp… that’s from last month, but it drives home the point, which is Brrrrrrrrr!

So, we already know, or should know that snow tires are a really good thing to have for wintertime driving.  The compound of the rubber they’re made with as well as the depth and design of the groves, sipes, and tread blocks all join forces to keep your car gripping in conditions where an all season tire will have you sliding.  To illustrate just why winter tires are good things, I’ve procured a little visual to show what can happen when traction is lost.

Here’s a photo I snapped on my way into work today, showing the wreckage left in the wake of an accident.  You can see the indentations in the snow bank where a vehicle ramped up and through it to plow down the parking sign.  Betcha’ they didn’t have snow tires.  In fairness, though, this was actually a 6 car accident.. Only two or three of the vehicles involved were not parked at the time, though.  Longtime readers may also recognize this location from a previous post last year involving a Firebird that got creamed at this same corner.  That Firebird ramped up at just about the same place as today’s wreck, but spared the parking sign in that instance by a matter of inches.  I will pay ramp parking prices before I leave by car parked along that expanse of curbside, and anybody else who parks in downtown Minneapolis would be wise to follow suit.

So yeah, winter tires.  They’re good, get them, blah, blah ,blah, etcetera.  This blog has beaten that horse deader than the parking sign from our accident picture featured above.  Here are some other perils of winter.

Not really a car related photo, but it does feature snow, and Pavlov wearing the canine equivalent of snow tires, his Ruff Wear boots for skijoring.

First up: Snow… I know, you’re probably thinking, well, duh!  But, if you’re like me and you don’t own a snow blower, figuring that shoveling snow is Minnesota’s all natural aerobic workout, then you know just how much it sucks to shovel when there’s a bunch of accumulated snow and you happen to own a corner lot.  About the time I finish the first fifty feet of shoveling this last time around, I was really regretting that I’d spent the previous night’s gym session working on my arms and boxing.  The repetitive activity of jab, cross, hook, uppercut until one’s arms feel like spaghetti is fine up until you have to spend the next morning with your shovel doing scoop, lift, tip, and toss about a thousand times.  None the less, there’s a certain satisfaction that goes along with that last scoop of snow when you know you’ve busted your butt to clear the walkways and the driveway and you have a clear path to show for it.

Here’s a picture of one side of my property.  Note my pup, Pavlov peering through the space in the fence line near the house, letting me know that he approves of my sidewalk shoveling technique.

A cleared driveway fit for my Mustang.

Of course, it’s not as simple as it seems.  It’s time to cue our antagonist… not mother nature, in this case.  The source of tension here is far more municipal in nature; the City of Minneapolis Snow Plow.  These guys clear the streets of snow using large, heavy trucks that have a massive plow blade on the front end, and typically feature a dump bed full of brine or sand to sprinkle across the roadways in their wake.  Sounds like they do a pretty good service, right?  Well, they do, but they also set the stage for a great deal of frustration for homeowners who have just spent two hours shoveling their walkways and driveway clear of snow.  As the plow pushes snow off the roadway, it flings it to the side, where it usually lands on the boulevard between the sidewalk and the curb.  Of course, when the curb cuts away for somebody’s driveway, the plow doesn’t just magically stop flinging snow all over.  It creates what is called a berm.

A mild berm left behind by the plow truck.  It was driven through, anyway.

A snow berm is like a snow bank, only composed of dirty, icy, chunky snow that’s been pushed and packed firm by the plow until it is deposited at the end of the driveway you just finished clearing.  And it’s not that easy to shovel this stuff, because it’s denser, heavier, harder, and icier than the fluffy puffs of snow that fell from the sky flake by flake to accumulate.  This stuff is back-breakingly brutal to shovel, and if you don’t get to it right away, it will freeze up and create what might as well be a brick wall blocking you from entering or leaving your driveway without roughing up your car’s bumper or getting the undercarriage hung up on it.  In other words, it super sucks.  You can drive right through it if you have enough ground clearance and AWD or 4x4, or you just got off work, it’s really late, you are dead tired, and you just don’t give a crap, so you goose the gas and pound the car right up through it without consideration for the risk of damage or possibly sliding right into the damn garage door… That was the case with the photo above -and no, the garage door was not struck.

Still, the next day, that berm needs to be dealt with. So, like Sisyphus who just finished rolling the rock all the way up the hill just to have it tumble right back down, I dutifully grab my shovel and try again, arms still feeling like spaghetti, back sore from the previous bout of snow shovel aerobics.  Thanks a lot, Minneapolis plow trucks, you’re going on my shit list next to Nikon until spring.

Of course, it’s not just driveways that end up with snow berms.  Intersections and alleyways get them blocking the path, too.  Last week, the alleyway berm was so intimidating that some jerk (probably the same one whose lousy graffiti I had to scrub off the stucco on my garage -you can still see some trace of it) who stole a cart from the grocery store that’s like twelve blocks away couldn’t even be bothered to try to boost his pilfered shopping cart over or through it, and instead, ditched it next to my garage so now I have to deal with the damn thing.  Thanks, asshole… you just made the list next to Nikon and snow plows.

Regular readers probably already know that it’s a major pet peeve of mine when people in parking lots do not put their carts away in the cart corral (see the Black Friday post from November regarding a mild confrontation I had with a Smart Fortwo driver over this very thing)… So you can probably imagine just how much it rubs me the wrong way when recalcitrant shopping carts end up near my own driveway.  

Let’s move along to the back end of our despised plow trucks.  The back end is where the brine and sand falls.  This stuff is nasty for cars, which is why upper Midwestern used cars are so famous for their rust.  Road salt eats away at finishes and hastens the oxidation process.  The sand that gets dumped is barely better, because having that stuff flinging up against your undercarriage and wheel wells is akin to a mild sandblasting that lasts all winter long, eroding any protective finishes and exposing metal to the elements to be corroded.  All this nastiness tends to build up in the wheel wells and form what can be best described as automotive stalactites.  Here’s an example.

Aside from being harbingers of future rust, these aren’t so bad to deal with.   In fact, it’s kind of satisfying to kick one of these off your car, provided it breaks off in a nice, big chunk and that later, that chunk doesn’t freeze into brick-like hardness in the shape of a spiky little stalactite that gets hung up under your car when you drive over it.  You’ll see these things in various shades of snowy white to silvery gray, to coal black, scattered all over parking lots and driveways in the wake of the vehicles whose wheel wells they’ve been dislodged from.

 It’s important to get all this nasty road stuff off your car in a timely manner.  Not just for the sake of the car’s appearance, but also because it’s winter time, and you will probably have to scrape ice or snow from your windshield every now and then.  When you do that, you’ll find yourself leaning up against the fenders to reach the glass, and if there’s crud on your car, there’s going to be a transfer of that crud onto you.  So, for the sake of not only your car, but also your couture, keep the vehicle clean.  For that, you’ll need to go to the car wash… Hopefully, you were smart and shut off the water supply valves to your home’s outdoor spigots for the winter, so a home wash is out of the question.  I like fully automated washes in winter, whereas I prefer the ones where I can do it myself in summer.  I have a video that I will attempt to upload here for your viewing pleasure of my car going through the course of the automated car wash, but if you see but a void below this paragraph, you will know my uploading efforts were unsuccessful (you could blame my lack of computer savvy, but for this week, let‘s just say it‘s Nikon‘s fault, shall we?).

Hmmm... it seems that didn't work.. Hell!

Anyway, make sure you spring for the blow dryer portion of the car wash, or else your windows and doors will freeze shut, and you’ll be trapped in your car, or out of it.  You don’t really need to worry about a spot free rinse, because if it’s cold enough, the remaining water droplets on your car will freeze into little ice pellets long before they have a chance to evaporate and leave behind mineral deposits in the form of spots on your clear coat.  Voila!  The car is clean and ready to drive for a few more days before so much crap accumulates on it that you have to head to the car wash yet again.

To summarize today’s lessons:  1) Nikon cameras have displeased me this week.  2) It’s cold here in Minnesota in winter time (shocking, I know!).  3) Snow tires are good, but the Northwest corner of the intersection at  3rd St S and 4th Ave S in downtown Minneapolis is a horrible place to park a car.  4) Shoveling snow is a great upper body workout and so is boxing, but try not to do both in the span of just a few hours.  5)Snow berms suck and so do inconsiderate plow drivers and shopping cart thieves.  6) Salt and sand is no good for your car, but is kind of fun to kick at in mud flap stalactite form. 7) Wash the winter off your car on a regular basis to keep it nice.