The Mitsubishi Mirage: Budget-Friendly Auto or Pregnant Skateboard?

It’s been a busy week.  Between work, meetings and trying to manage life outside of work, I’m also spending time helping prep the Gatsby Mansion (AKA my sister’s house) for the home tour.  Working with a big house like that means lots of ground to cover with painting and projects to get things ready.  I’ve yet to accomplish the goals I set forth on my own house, but it’s not as though I’ve got a deadline like the home tour looming over me, so it’s fine to put my place on the back burner for the time being.  Besides, it’s still kind of cold outside in spite of the gradual thaw that’s taking place.  A lot of my projects involve work outdoors, so conditions are not quite yet suitable for those things.

In fact, being outside can be perilous sometimes.  Just the day before yesterday, I slipped on some ice in my own backyard while carrying in groceries.  I  was trying to sidestep this gross puddle of melted snow mixed with mulch and dog poop that had formed on the walkway (my dogs take snow cover on the ground as license to besmirch segments of the yard outside of their woodchip area and seem to enjoy sullying my pavers in particular).  I stepped over the festering puddle onto some built up ice, thinking I’d just edge around it only to have my foot slip out from under me.  This, in turn, landed me on my back in the very puddle of disgusting liquefied dog doo that I had been trying to avoid stepping in to begin with.

I’m sure that if it had been caught on video and uploaded to you tube or something, it’s the type of thing I would laugh at -particularly if I was watching it happen to somebody else -but somehow, when you’re staring up at the sky from an icy puddle of melted snow blended with a heaping dose of dog turd that’s seeping into your clothes, laughter gives way to a blaze of profanity, followed by a sprint into the house to shed the now soggy, cold, nasty articles of clothing straight into the wash.  I spent a few minutes trying to make sure I didn’t break my elbow, which I landed on rather awkwardly.  It’s not broken, but I do have a really big bruise from my elbow to about halfway down the back side of my forearm, and now my arm hurts every time it comes in contact with the center console armrest in my car.  Yay for spring thaw, eh?

Well, here’s a happy little snow man I spotted atop a Pontiac Vibe while headed to the post office yesterday.  Between the thaw and the fact that he’s on the roof of a car, I suspect little Frosty here is not long for this world -and after the winter we‘ve had in Minnesota (and especially after that rather unpleasant spill into the poop puddle)  I say good riddance, Frosty!

So, until all the ice and the soppy puddles are gone from my yard, there will be no attempts to accomplish much outside.  Between work and home tour prep stuff at my sister’s house, I did manage to find a little bit of time to make a car related project, though.

I started with an old skateboard that was pretty beat up.  It used to be a pink  Element deck with Krux trucks and spitfire wheels.  The trucks were actually in decent shape, the wheels were pretty worn down, and the bearings were just about shot, but I found somebody who wanted the trucks, so I also threw in the wheels once we agreed on a price, then I just had the deck.  It was really chewed up, scarred and marred and just plain ugly from wear and tear.   So, I decided to turn it into a nice little wall decoration for my pool table/bar room downstairs.  I started by sanding down the bottom side of the deck.  It took some doing to knock it down to smooth again, and I’m certain it must be quite a bit thinner now than when it started out life as a skateboard.

After that, I coated it with gray primer.

Then, I grabbed some cheap little quart cans of Rust-oleum gloss finish oil based enamel and painted an homage to a certain little green Mustang that I’m rather fond of.  The Mona Lisa, it is not, but I think it will look nice mounted on the wall by the pool table.      

In light of the skateboard project, it seemed appropriate to feature a car that more or less looks like a pregnant skateboard…  I write of the subcompact, of course.  I’ve never had much interest in this segment prior to my interaction with my rental Fiat earlier this month, but am now very much aware of the little buggers in their various forms when out motoring about.

We’ve already covered the Ford Fiesta ST on this blog, as well as some extensive use of the Fiat 500 Pop, so for today, we’re taking a look at a different little flea.

At the auto show, today’s car was one of the rare instances where the cheapest model a manufacturer has to offer stole the thunder from the higher end stuff on display… at least in terms of grabbing initial attention.  I refer to the Mitsubishi display.  That brand’s lineup isn’t particularly stunning to begin with.  The coolest thing they make is easily the Lancer Evolution, and there was one on display, but what drew my eye was the brightly painted little cars at the far end of the Mitsi display area.

…But before we talk about that, I’d like to take a moment to point out just how underwhelming the Mitsubishi lineup is these days.  I don’t know what’s going on with Mitsubishi, but I fear they will soon be going the way of our little snowman friend from the Pontiac Vibe roof rack… or Suzuki, for that matter.  It’s like they’ve stopped trying.  For starters, there isn’t a car offered by Mitsi that has fewer than four doors.  There’s no low slung, sporty little coupe or roadster to be seen among the Mitsi family these days.  Long gone is the 3000GT, slightly less long, the Eclipse.  The big, exciting thing (exciting for people who care about it, anyway) is the MiEV plug in electric car, which has all the character you’d expect to see from an appliance that appears to be the result of cross breeding of a toaster with an iPod.  Other than that, Mitsubishi offers the Lancer, the Lancer Sportback, the Lancer Evolution, the Outlander, the Outlander Sport, and the Mirage.  The first three are all sedans (well, one is a hatchback, but whatever), and the first two of those are boring sedans.  The two Outlanders are both unattractive crossovers (I know aesthetics are subjective, but these things just do not look good).

And then there’s the subcompact:  The Mirage -Mitsubishi gets credit for using an actual word for a vehicle name, but the name itself suggests something that’s not really what it seems.  That could be a two way street.  After all, if the Mirage seems like a crappy little car to you, then if it’s true to its name, perhaps it will surprise you by defying that perception.  Of course, it could just signify that the thing lacks substance, and that’s hardly something to be proud of.

If nothing else, these little cars did have some vivid paint colors going for them at the auto show.  Those colors are a necessity if one plans on actually owning one of these cars, because the brilliant hues distract from the styling, which isn’t horrible, but it does remind me of the late 1990’s model Mercury Sable that my mother had years ago, all rounded at the corners, with a oval theme that seemed to carry through it to the point of being completely overdone.  The face of the car is rounded out and smoothed, but there’s nothing there in terms of character.  It says clearly that it’s a little bitty car, but it doesn’t state its own identity strong enough to make one want to or able to pick one out of a crowd easily.  At least the little Fiat 500 I drove had that going for it.  This Mirage isn’t doing anything to set itself apart aesthetically.  Though at least the front view is better than the side view in terms of being slightly less generic looking.

The Mirage is an economy car, though, and there’s only so much in the budget for aesthetic design, I suppose.  This “Plasma Purple” one carries a sticker price of $16,290 (with destination fee and handling), though the base price for a Mirage starts at $12,995.

There are two trim levels available, the DE, which is the most basic model, and the ES, which includes fog lights, steering wheel mounted controls for the stereo and blue tooth, and 14” alloy wheels.  Both trims come with a 1.2L 3 cylinder engine that produces 74 HP and about the same number of lb-ft of torque.  I know it’s a 3 cylinder, and that the Mirage is a small car, but that just seems so weak.  The little Fiat Pop can whip up about 25 more horsepower, and I complained about that, so the Mirage with 74 horseys would probably be less than inspiring for the lead-footed among us.

There’s a 5 speed manual available on both the DE and the ES, and for about $1,000 more, a continuously variable transmission (CVT) can be had.  With this set up, the estimated MPGs are 37/44 for city/highway.  My experience with CVTs is that they’re not much fun to drive, so I’d just go straight for the manual and save the $1,000.

The brakes are discs in front and drums in the rear, which again, makes my rental car Fiat 500 shine with its 4 wheel discs.  True, the Mirage is a small car without much power, so it won’t take much to bring it to a halt from the relatively low speeds it can achieve in the first place.  Still, disc brakes all around would be better.

I decided to visit Mitsubishi’s website and build a Mirage.  There aren’t that many options to choose from, so it didn’t take long.  The one I built is Kiwi Green, like this one, because you know I love me some green cars!

I started with the ES package, then added parking assist, which gets me front and rear parking sensors, for $450, because driving a subcompact would definitely mean I’d be looking for extreme parallel parking challenges to engage in, so I’d use those sensors.  I added the LED illumination package for $185, which gets me blue lighting for the floor and center console.  I added this due to my concern that the regular ambient lighting might be that horrible orange color that the Fiat I drove featured.  That bugged me, so for $185 of hypothetical money, I’d be happy to save myself the hypothetical irritation of having to look at hypothetically orange instrument panel backlighting.  That brought my total to $15,625.

I could have tacked on another $60 for wheel lock lug nuts, but honestly, who is going to steal 14” factory rims off a Mirage?

For $695, there’s an available “exterior” package, which includes front and rear bumper extensions and side sill extensions -which seems to be Mitsubishi’s odd way of saying a body kit or ground effects.  In this case, I don’t think they’ll help much, so best to save that money toward a down payment on a different car.  Even in terms of cheapo commuter cars, there are better options available than the Mirage.  I’d take the Fiat 500 Pop over the Mirage I built any day and for many reasons.  Surely Mitsubishi isn’t selling enough Lancer Evolutions to make up for the underwhelming other stuff in their lineup, so why send the Mirage to the marketplace in such an underwhelming state of being?  I mean, the bright, happy paint palette helps, but not enough to make up for the other shortcomings.  This little car needs a hook or a special purpose that lands it in a neat little niche.  Right now, there’s nothing really exciting about them.      

The New GMC Canyon/ Chevy Colorado vs the Chevy S-10 Xtreme

One of the exciting new things on display at the Twin Cities Auto Show was the new GMC Canyon compact pickup truck.  This is the mechanical twin of the Chevy Colorado.  Both of these trucks have been off the market for a few years, but are now making a comeback.  The timing is perfect.  Ford Rangers are no longer being made or sold, and we’ve got the empty Ford Ranger Plant just across the river in St Paul, Minnesota to prove it.  Likewise, the Dodge Dakota saw its last model roll off the assembly line in 2011.  This means that there are no other domestic compact pickups on the market anymore.  The only competition still in the running for the compact pickup truck segment is the Toyota Tacoma, and the Nissan Frontier.

This is the new Canyon as seen at the auto show.

There are supposed to be 3 engine options for these trucks when they hit the market.  The base engine will be a 2.5L inline 4 cylinder capable of 193 HP and 184 lb-ft of torque.  Next up will be a 3.6L V6 with 302 HP and 270 lb ft of torque.  Finally, there will be a 2.8L Duramax diesel inline 4 cylinder engine available, but I was unable to find any performance specs on that, so I guess it will be a surprise.

My visit to the Chevy website to check out the Colorado did not offer a build and price option, so I would guess that pricing and packages are still being sorted out and nailed down.  Well, it’s a nice looking little truck, though to be frank, it’s not really that little.  Compared to a full size pickup, it is of course, smaller.  Still, labeling this as a “compact” pickup is worrisome, because I know I’m going to see these things parked in the compact only spaces of the Haaf ramp.  The owners will justify taking up the end “compact only” space with a vehicle that has a footprint akin to a full sized sedan by virtue of its designation as a “compact” truck.  This will get on my nerves, and I’ll do my usual passive aggressive thing where I maneuver my car around the overhanging truck to corner up to the next ramp level and quietly curse the owner of that vehicle while I do so.  It’s not a very satisfying way to handle it, but whatever…. And anyway, it will serve them right when somebody comes along and clips their truck while trying to get around it.

I’ve heard some talk of bringing back the Dodge Dakota “compact” pickup truck, but so far nothing has come of it.  Besides, now it would be a Ram Dakota, since the truck division struck out on its own (sort of).  You know what would be a cool truck to bring back?  A Jeep truck!  Remember those little Jeep/Willys pickups we saw in the last post?  A few years ago, Jeep showed a concept truck called the Gladiator, and it was like a modern day version of those little things -just brimming with classic Jeep character.  It was fantastic, and just the type of thing that would make me want to buy a truck.  Sadly, I’ve heard nothing of plans along those lines.  Dakota Daschmota!  Gimme a Jeep pickup!

But enough of that, because we've got yet another truck to look at in today’s post.  We already had our something new, so it’s time to contrast it against something old -or older anyway.

This eye catching little rig is a 2002 Chevy S-10 Xtreme.  Consider it the older brother of the GMC Canyon and the Chevy Colorado we just finished discussing.

The Chevy S-10 pickup (or “compact” pickup, as it were) was produced from 1982-2004.  This particular truck is part of the 2nd generation of S-10s which were eventually replaced in 2004 by the Chevy Colorado, which was not immediately replaced after its initial production run until now.

When I was in high school, there were a few guys who had S-10s.   I worked at the mall when I was a high school kid, and there were always guys showing up after hours with S-10 trucks that had been lowered and fitted with teeny tiny wheels, great big sound systems, and underbody lighting kits.  Those guys would park their trucks and blast their stereos while hanging out in the parking lot to watch people drag race 5.0 Mustangs and the occasional other variety of muscle car.

When it comes to S-10 trucks, I’m used to seeing them flashy, fitted with body kits, and wearing aftermarket stuff.  Of course, most of the ones I saw in my high school days were first generation trucks, because most of those guys couldn’t afford to buy and modify a brand new S-10.  Naturally, then, when this bright yellow pickup turned up in a used car lot I drive by frequently, it practically called out to my sense of nostalgia with its lowered stance and body kit.

But this isn’t an aftermarket DIY S-10.  This truck came this way.  Previous generation S-10s had special packages known as the  Chevy Syclone (intentionally misspelled -probably due to the expense involved with trade marking and licensing the correctly spelled version of Cyclone) and the GMC Typhoon  (apparently cheap enough to license that they could justify spelling it correctly).  That went by the wayside, being sort of replaced by the “SS” (Super Sport) package, which was then replaced by the Xtreme (intentional misspelling, probably for the same reason listed earlier, or possibly because it was perceived as being cool) package.

The Xtreme S-10 differs from your run of the mill S-10 in a few ways.  For starters, the Xtreme features a suspension that’s lower by an inch or two.  The visual impact of that lowered stance is enhanced by the addition of a body kit that hangs close to the ground all the way around the truck.  It’s got a stiffer suspension and performance shocks more along the lines of what you’d find in a sports car than a truck.  It also came with special 16” rims, which is nothing special these days, or really even back in 2002, but they looked nice, and anything bigger would have negated the impact of the lowered suspension and skirt kit, anyway.

The body kit and the grille are color keyed to match the rest of the vehicle, which is also adorned with Xtreme badging and a special designation label that can be found inside the glove box of the vehicle to verify that it is, in fact, a legitimate, factory made Xtreme, and not some cobbled together wannabe thing.  Under the hood wasn’t anything too special, because the Xtreme was more about appearance and handling than outright power.  That said, an upgrade from the standard inline 4 cylinder engine was available in the form of a 4.3L V6 with 190 HP and 250 lb-ft of torque.  It could be selected as an option along with a five speed manual or a four speed automatic transmission.  I don’t know who in their right mind would have bought or ordered an Xtreme and not opted for the V6.  Of course, the I4 in the new Canyon/Colorado can match the 4.3L V6 of 2002 for horsepower, but that 3.6L V6 in the new Canyon completely trounces the 4.3L.

The Xtreme package added over $3,000 to the base price of the truck, and upgrading to the Vortec V6 added about $1,200 more (worth it).  Back when it was new, an S-10 Xtreme with nice options would probably cost anywhere from $20,000-25,000.  This particular one is for sale right now with an asking price of $6,595.  That price would be fair if this truck were immaculate, or at least in better condition than it is and with fewer miles than the 135,000 that this one has racked up.

Get a closer look.  A very noticeable chunk of the grille is missing.   And if that’s not bad enough, the chin skirt has no less than four cracks in it.  Somebody edged too close to the curb while pulling into the parking space with this thing.  When you’ve got a vehicle with low hanging parts, you just can’t do that type of stuff without sullying the vehicle’s appearance.

This truck is scuffed and scraped.   But let’s say you’re a Do-It-Yourselfer.  How do you handle this?  You could hop on Ebay, where I just found a replacement urethane front valance with a buy it now price of $169.00 plus $39.00 shipping, though it’s not an original manufacturer part.  But what if you want to be even cheaper about it?

Those body kit components are plastic, so you have a options aside from total replacement.  You can head out to good old Harbor Freight, my favorite purveyor of inexpensive tools, and pick up a plastic welding kit.  A cheap one will cost you $19.99 (but they’re on special this month for $14.99) -I’d avoid this one, because about a decade ago, I bought the cheapo plastic welder and only welded a few small things with it before it stopped working all together.  For $59.99 (on special right now for $49.99) you can get a better one that might actually work.  With this, you can “weld” those cracks together after you pull the piece off the truck.  A little body putty and some sanding followed by a spray of new paint, and it would probably look like new again -unless you really suck at this type of thing.

Because it’s a low-lying chin piece, you may be able to get away with having your local auto parts and auto paint store mix up an aerosol can of touch up paint and use that to finish your patch job rather than having to go through the whole spray gun and spray booth thing with it.  It wouldn’t be show quality, but it would look acceptable for everyday use, I think.  Let’s total that up then:
$50 for the plastic welder
$15 for a small tub of Bondo body putty (Harbor Freight has this in stock in their auto body aisle, if you want to kill two birds with one stone)
$5 for a package of sand paper (probably cheaper actually, and again, you can get this at Harbor Freight while you’re there)
$6 for a spray can of primer, which you will sand smooth after it dries using some of your fine grit sand paper.
$15 for a custom mixed aerosol can of touch up paint for your truck (knock it down to $8 if they don’t have to mix it, and it’s already in stock on their shelves).  
$91 total by my count.  Not too bad, and you’ll still have a plastic welder to show for it when you’re done.  If you get good enough at plastic welding, you may be able to make a buck or two on the side fixing and repairing cracked motorcycle faring and other people’s damaged body kits.

We’re going to have to touch up the front bumper on this thing, too.  So, sand that rust off it, scuff the entire part, then primer and spray it.  Again, not top quality, but good enough to get it by.  You may be able to find a clear plastic wrap type guard for the bumper to protect it, which would cover any super glossy finish the truck has anyway with its own gloss, as well as protect the bumper from bug splatters and rock chips.

The grill will need replacing because that missing piece is long gone, so there’s no hope of even trying to weld it back in place with our handy plastic welder.  Luckily, Ebay seems to have some available for anywhere from $60-$100.

The driver’s side front side skirt appears to have a bite taken out of it right where it meets the wheel well.  That chunk is probably as gone as the missing grill bit, so it will need to be replaced.  Just so happens that Ebay has one for sale (driver’s side only) with a starting bid price of $40 and no takers yet.  It’s in red, so it will need a repaint before installation, but as long as we’re spraying the bumper and the front chin skirt, we might as well handle the side skirt, too.  May need to buy another can of touch up paint, though.  Otherwise, there’s a black one for sale with a buy it now price of $90.  Still not too bad, but if we have to repaint it anyway, just buy the cheaper one, I say.

There’s some rust around the step on the rear bumper, but perhaps some sanding/rust removal coupled with the remainder of the touch up paint feathered in could remedy that situation.  What does that amount to for our expenditures to get this truck looking presentable again?  Using the cheapest parts we can get our hands on, we’ve got  $91 for the work on the front, $60 for a replacement grill, $40 for the side skirt, figure in about $40 for shipping between them, and maybe another $10 for paint and shop supplies, and we’re up to $241 not counting whatever you figure your time is worth to mess around with all this stuff.  Add another $80 or so in paint and supplies onto that if you want to get the paint job done proper in your garage using your own spray gun and air compressor if you have them.

It’s a lot to mess around with.  Enough to justify knocking a considerable amount off the asking price for this truck.  If I wanted it, I’d come at them offering $5,000.  And that seems entirely reasonable to me, too, in view of the mileage, age, and condition of this little truck.  It’s cute, sure, but it’s a fixer-upper, and that’s assuming that it’s mechanically sound as it sits.  It would not surprise me to learn that it’s due or overdue for new shocks, so that may be an expense and an inconvenience to factor into the whole mess.  In the end though, you’d have a foxy little summer cruiser truck to dash around in.  After an evening spent hanging out watching the local hot rodders and gear heads rev up at the drive in or the drag strip, just drop some blankets into the bed and drive out into the country to lie down and stare up at the stars on a nice summer night -it would be perfect for that.

Of Rust and Rot: Haunted things that slip away, and things that can be saved.

I have a few memory cards just brimming with photographs of brand new automobiles from the Twin Cities Auto Show I went to a couple weeks ago.  Yet, I've been reluctant to start really using them.  I do a variety of things with my time.  Blogging about cars is something I do because I enjoy it, so if I’m just not feeling it, then it’s not happening.  The fact that I haven’t felt like blogging about fancy new cars from the auto show is probably more of a reflection of my preferences than on the cars.

-But here's a new Jaguar F-type to keep you happy if you came here expecting something shiny and new....

I like old stuff, used stuff, cheap stuff, and fixer-upper stuff.  I have an old house that I’m constantly fixing up.  I know that one of its former owners died in the room where I sleep now (natural causes), but that’s just part of its history, and I sure wouldn't hold it against the place.  In fact, I love the idea of inanimate objects having a story or having lived some kind of a life through their presence in the lives of others. That’s why I love used cars -the older the better!  Of course, used stuff is best when it’s been maintained and cared for over its years.  Sometimes though, you get fixer uppers, and sometimes, stuff is just plain dilapidated.  So, instead of shiny, new toys, we’re going to use today’s post to explore decay and ruins.

I started thinking about this just last week.  I volunteered to spend Saturday morning as part of a search party that was going to pick its way through gridded sections of Theo Wirth Park here in Minneapolis in search of a woman who was missing for about a month and was believed to have hiked off into Wirth Park, as she apparently, often did.  I’m pretty familiar with several sections of the park, because it’s one of the places that Pavlov and I like to hike in our urban adventures.  Those of you who read the graffiti post have already seen some of the sights that one can see while following the train tracks through the park, in fact.

The good news of the situation is that the missing woman was found in the woods near the railroad tracks that Pavlov and I like to explore just a couple days before the organized search of the park was to take place.  The bad news is that she was found dead of an apparent suicide.   I didn’t know her and never met her, but the fact that she liked to hike around and explore the same areas that I like to made me feel some commonality with her, so I feel badly about what she decided to do with herself.  Now that trail along the rail road tracks is just a bit more haunted than it was before, I suppose.   But I bring this up, because when I was considering the theme of today’s post: run down, decrepit, haunted things, there was one towering form that immediately sprung to mind.

This massive, marred, crumbling leviathan is the Fruen Mill, and it can be found by following along the tracks, past the graffiti from the previous post, beyond the area where the missing woman was found, and down toward the Bryn Mawr neighborhood.

The Fruen Mill sits along Bassett Creek, and has been standing upon this site in various forms (the original mill burned down in 1920) since 1894.  There have been rebuilds and updates since then, clearly, but eventually, it ceased to function as a mill and has sat, a vacant and lonely colossus, ever since.  The mill is a dangerous and haunted place to be.  It is falling apart, boarded up, and slathered with “do not trespass” signs.  All of this only seems to make the structure that much more appealing for urban explorers, at least one of whom has died in the mill, and at least a couple of whom have sustained injuries from falls of several stories in height inside the mill over the years.   There’s talk of turning it into luxury condos, and in Bryn Mawr, with it’s not-quite-really-technically-Northside status and its proximity to the lakes just a bit further South, there would probably be a good market for it… but access to the mill, or rather, the lack thereof (unless traveling by rail road) seems to be an issue.

The thing about the Fruen Mill, and the thing about the cars we’re going to look at today is that, while they’ve all been left to sit and rot, they’ve got yet another thing in common.  They all have their tales, which, by and large, have been lost to the passing of time save but for a few shreds and documents here and there.  If the Fruen Mill could speak, what would it say of its days of working and the people who made their living within its walls.  What could it tell us about the passing seasons it has endured and its slow descent into decrepitude?  Of the many adventurous souls who have dared to breach its boarded doors to explore it, or of their fates within its shadowy and deteriorating walls?  What would today’s cars have to say about where they came from and the places they’ve traveled to, or the people who have traveled within them?  We probably will never know, but at least we can have a poke around at them.

Let’s start with this row of Chevy sedans I found several months ago outside of a garage in a small Iowa town.  There was nobody at the garage for me to talk to aside from a very large Rottweiler who was barking at me from inside the building.  These are 1960-61 Chevy cars, and the ones with three tail light lenses are Impalas, whereas the ones that look nearly identical but only have two tail light lenses are Bel Airs.  The Bel Air will likely have a 235 cubic inch inline 6 cylinder engine with 135 HP and 217 lb-ft of torque.  Optional would have been a 283 V8 with 170 HP and 275 lb-ft of torque.

Our Sea Mist Turquoise ‘61 Impala in the foreground of the photo below could have that “Hi-Thrift” inline 6 that was mentioned or even a “Super Turbo Thrust Special” 348 cubic inch V8 with 280 HP and 355 lb-ft of torque, if it’s something special.  But, we’ll never know, or at least I won’t because I lack the proper Impala specialization to know if there are any giveaways visible here to indicate what’s what -and like I said, there was nobody at the garage to ask about it.

All these cars appeared to have been sitting in their spaces for quite a while judging by the vegetation growing up between the cracks in the pavement around them, but very little to none in the cracks under the cars where no sunlight can reach.  My guess would be that the person who owns these cars is planning on using them or parts from some of them to build up one or two back to an approximation of their original glory.  I’m not sure which ones in particular would be the donor cars, but my guess would be that the owner would prefer an Impala over a Bel Air.  These four old gals, if they could, might regale us with stories of family trips to the State Fair, rides to church on Sundays, and adventures that may have even taken them away from the small town in which they sit now, and out of the state of Iowa all together.

Next up we have a well-worn 1950 Studebaker 2R series truck in green (with some rust coloration), carrying the remnants of what I’m guessing is a 1934 Chevy pick up truck.  Neither truck looks particularly functional, but at least one could hook a tow strap to the Studebaker to move both of them around.

The 1950 Studebaker truck originally had a 170 cubic inch I6 and made 80 HP or could be had with a 245 cubic inch I6 with 102 HP, whereas its piggybacking buddy, the 1934 Chevy originally had a 207 cubic inch I6 that made 60 HP.  Both of these old timers were sitting in the same lot as the quartet of early 60’s Chevy sedans we just looked at.  Who knows what plans await these trucks, if any at all?  Rusting away in small town Iowa, it would be safe to assume that the stories these trucks could tell might center around working on a farm and hauling things to the local market.

We trek out to a metal scrap yard in North Central Iowa for our next finds -My dad directed me to these, having spotted them when he was dropping off some metal and scraps he was clearing out of his garage.

Here, we have a Willys Jeep truck.  I can’t peg the year on this, but would guess it could be a 1954, which would put a 3.7L inline 6 cylinder under its hood along with 115 HP and 190 lb-ft of torque.  This Jeep also had company of its same make and model hanging around in the ditch near the field overlooking the scrap yard where I found it.  The guys at the scrap yard do have plans for this one and its comrades, though.  They are going to use the other Jeep trucks as donors to build this one up and restore it.  The time frame seemed rather loose, so it’s probably not going to happen soon, but at least there’s some promise of bringing the Jeep back to life.

I guess it’ll be a kind of race to see which happens first, the Fruen Mill being converted into luxury condos or this Jeep pickup being restored to its original form.  Next time I’m in the area, I’ll make a point to stop out and see if any progress has been made on the Jeep.

Not too far away from the little Jeep truck, I spotted this 1950 Chevy Pickup (I‘m guessing 1950, and I think I‘m right, but again, I could be off here).  I don’t know what, if anything, is planned for this hollow carcass of an automobile, but I do know that in its current state, it makes that 1950 Studebaker truck we spied earlier look pretty good by comparison.

The engine is there but one doubts it would turn over as rusted and exposed as it appeared.  It is, however, a 3.5L inline 6 with 90 HP and 176 lb-ft of torque.  I don’t really want to know what sad tale this truck would tell us about how it ended up at the scrap metal yard in this state.

Lastly, we have another pickup truck to see.

This one was in the same small town where I found the row of Impalas and Bel Airs, but at a different location.  It has been sitting for a while, but of all we’ve seen today, I think it has the most promise for being turned around in a timely manner.  Granted, the truck needs a new bed, but the body panels that are there appear to be in good form and are wearing a black primer as if somebody plans on giving it a new top coat.  It’s missing the passenger side glass, and the windshield is degassing, which is what’s causing that white, filmy effect you see around its edges.  But, put some new glass in place, fit it with a bed box, install some new wheels and tires, give the body a good spray of paint and it will be ready to hit the road again -assuming all is in order under the hood and with the electrical system.  This truck could easily beat out both the little Jeep truck with its donors AND the Fruen Mill for when it can step back into the land of the living to embark on new and exciting adventures again.

I suppose today’s explorations just go to show that some things can be restored, even from horrible, ramshackle conditions.  Some things will sit and rot while grand plans are made but never executed.  Other things are doomed to deteriorate unnoticed and uninterrupted, while yet others are just gone, swept up into the ether.  I say, if you have any plans to restore or repair something, there’s no better time than right now to start things moving.  Consider it a win if you finish before the Fruen Mill becomes Luxury condos or collapses into the earth.  

A St Patrick's Day Jeep Showdown: Former Fancy Pants Orvis Jeep vs. the Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland

For the St. Patrick's day post, I decided yesterday while I was doing some Sunday car shopping at the Ford dealership, that today's featured automobile would be the first green vehicle that caught my eye...  I do this begrudgingly.  I work tonight, and this particular holiday makes my job miserable and full of belligerent drunk people with horrible decision making skills and very little self control...  I have no Irish heritage myself.  Actually, the entire notion of ancestry and heritage seems ridiculous to me.  By and large, my ancestry traces back to Germany, with some smidgen of French and Serbian thrown in for fun.  More than German, I consider myself a generic Midwesterner, having lived my life between Illinois, Minnesota, Iowa, and Nebraska.  I am German insofar as I like a good beer (not that I can really have one anymore thanks to the whole gluten thing) and once considered buying a Volkwagen.  And so, when people make a big deal out of their Irish heritage, or whatever heritage they identify with, it seems silly to me, because I've never felt the need to extend my roots down into the past and try to own some previous generation's life experiences as my own, because they are not my own, nor even my past's... they're just earlier chapters in a bloodline that only have bearing on my life now if I insist that they must. None the less, it's St Patrick's day, which means that the green beer will be flowing, and so, a green car is fitting.

*some cookies I spotted at the store.  I can't have them because of gluten content, but they don't look all that appetizing anyway, so no big loss.

Now, to the task at hand.  I chose the Ford dealership because I'm trying to decide what model I’m going to take out for a test drive to score a $50 gift certificate from the auto show promotion -I’m open to suggestions from readers, by the way… keep in mind, I’ve already covered the Mustang, the Taurus SHO, the Fiesta ST, the Focus ST, the Fusion, and the F150 with the 3.5L Ecoboost- when I spotted today’s vehicle looking battered and forlorn in the fresh trade row.  Because the last post dealt with an old Jeep and a new Jeep, it seemed like good follow up to feature yet another old jeep, and contrast that with a new one.

Here’s our sad little friend from the fresh trade row:  a 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee Orvis edition.  That model year puts this vehicle at the tail end of the 1st generation of Grand Cherokees.  2nd generation began with 1999 models.

What you’re seeing is a real fall from grace for a vehicle that was pretty much at the top of its heap for trim and options back when it was new.  This poor old rig has been knocked around, trashed, and thrashed.  Over its years and through however many people owned it, somewhere along the line, somebody stopped caring about this vehicle and its preservation.  … Maybe not entirely, though.  Somebody did care enough to fix the damage to the front bumper -they just didn’t care enough to do the repair correctly.  Let me show you with a little zoom here.

See that?  It’s scraps of sheet metal that have been screwed in place with full bearing head screws.  It could be worse, though.  They could have used pop rivets or duct tape, or they could have just let the front end hang off the vehicle after the damage until it fell off all on its own.  There was some effort made to match the contours and planes, but still, this looks terrible!  Back when this Jeep was brand new, nobody ever would have dreamed of doing such a lick ‘em-stick ‘em repair job on it.  By God, this is an Orvis edition! And in 1997, it was an expensive Jeep.

Orvis is a trim package that one could add on top of the Limited package, which is like extra goodies on top of an already well equipped vehicle.  It's named after a retail company that sells expensive hunting and fishing stuff to well-to-do outdoorsy types, or at least people who like to fancy themselves outdoorsy types from the safety of their fancier-yet SUVs -you know, the kind of folks who gear up for traipsing around in the woods by purchasing a $100 pair of khaki pants in which to do so -I imagine them wearing loafers, too, even though I'm sure Orvis would happily sell them some pricey hiking boots that would better fit the bill.   Well, anyway...  In 1997, the base MSRP for a Grand Cherokee Limited was just under $31,000.  The Orvis upgrade added to that amount, and upgrading to a 4x4 instead of 4x2 version bumped it higher yet.  Add on a few more extras, like, say, an engine block heater or what have you, and I estimate we’ll settle in at around $34,000 for our ‘97 Grand Cherokee Orvis -and that‘s in 1997 dollars, by the way.

The Orvis package was typically offered in Moss Green paint like the one we’re looking at today, though a very few of them were made in a tan color called “Light Driftwood“.  You could request one with the 4.0L I6 engine we talked about in our last post, but the standard offering on an Orvis edition was the 5.2L V8 with 220 HP and 300 lb-ft of torque partnered with a 4 speed automatic transmission.  The 4X4 system was known as Quadra-trac, and it automatically engaged the front wheels to drive via a viscous coupling unit when it detected slippage.   With this set up, one could expect to get 14/17 mpg.  The Orvis also came with tow hooks and an upgraded suspension kit as well as Roan Red pin striping.

The interior featured 2 tone leather seats done in green and tan with Roan Red piping.  This one we’re looking at today is one of just 2,733 Orvis editions made in 1997.

What’s the equivalent in today’s Jeep lineup?  The good news is that Jeep has maintained this particular model uninterrupted since its debut, though now on its 5th generation (there have been mild updates and tweaks within each generation, but we’re dividing generations by major redesigns).  These days, the trim levels on the Grand Cherokee stack up like this:
(keep in mind these are base MSRPs for what are typically 4x2 models)
Laredo -$29.195
Laredo E -$30,795
Limited -$36,195
Overland -$43,195
Summit -$48,195
SRT -$63,995

Because the Orvis was a step up from the Limited in 1997, today’s equivalent should be the Overland edition.  We’ll start there and see how things stack up.  The Overland edition features all the stuff that you’d get on a Limited Grand Cherokee, plus Quadralift air suspension, bi-xenon headlights with LED daytime running lights, Nappa leather trimmed seats, a leather stitched instrument panel, door inserts, and center consol armrest, heated steering wheel, navigation with touch screen, power folding mirrors, power tilt/telescoping steering wheel, dual pane sunroof, Overland Grille (which doesn’t look very different from the standard grille), chrome tow hooks, color keyed wheel lips, fascia, and sills with chrome insert.  Under the hood is a 3.6L V6  with an output of 290 HP and 260 lb-ft of torque.  There are some upgrades available for the power plant -but they’ll cost ya’.

For an extra $4,500, you can get a 3.0L EcoDiesel V6 that can power the Grand Cherokee with 240 HP and 420 lb-ft of torque while attaining 30 MPG highway.  I played around on the Jeep website and found that adding this option also saddled me with another $895 for the Uconnect system with navigation -or at least it did on the Overland edition I played around and built.  So, we might as well chalk it up at $5,395 for that diesel option.

An additional $3,195 will get you a 5.7L V8 Hemi with 360 HP and 390 lb-ft of torque, though I’m sure it can’t come anywhere near the MPGs that the diesel can achieve.

And then there’s the 6.4L V8 SRT Hemi -available in the Grand Cherokee lineup only in the SRT, which has a base MSRP of $63,995.  That’s a lot of money, but at least it gets you a lot of power…  470 HP and 465 lb-ft of torque, to be exact.  

Earlier, we estimated that in 1997, a 4x4 Jeep Grand Cherokee Orvis edition carried an MSRP of around $34,000.  Once again, using our nifty online inflation converter, that amount is equal to $49,562 in 2013 dollars.  Setting that as our price goal, let’s see just how much Jeep Grand Cherokee we can build in 2014.

We’ll start with an Overland edition 4x4, which already has us up to $46,195, but for some reason, the net price showing on the building page of the Jeep site differs from this and reads as $47,190 before I've even added anything to it.   I wonder what that’s about?  Well, we like fuzzy-wuzzy things here on Automozeal.

 ....even when those things are math instead of my fuzzy pup, Pavlov, so I guess we’ll just deal with it.  For the record, though, I think there should be an extra $995 in there for us to kick around.

Due to St Patrick's day, and in honor of the Moss Green paint on the Orvis, our Overland is going to be Black Forest Green Pearl Coat.  For some contrast, we’ll select Nepal Jeep Brown Light Frost for our interior color, though Morocco Black would probably also look nice.  We’re still at $47,190...  Until we get to options.

We don’t have enough wiggle room between our current price and the inflation adjusted 1997 Orvis price of $49,562 to upgrade our engine, so we’re going to have to be happy with the  3.6L V6, which actually has 70 more HP than the ‘97 Orvis’ 5.2L V8, though 40 less lb-ft of torque.

If we stick with the Jeep website’s math, we've only got $2,372 left to play with before we reach the maximum we’re letting ourselves build to ($3,367 if we pitch a fit about that missing $995).  For $1,995, we can get the Advanced Technology Group, which has adaptive cruise control with stop, advanced brake assist, blind spot and rear cross path detection, forward collision warning and crash mitigation.  That sounds pretty good, so why not?  We’re now at $49,185 (or, $33,740 in 1997 dollars).  That’s pretty close, and we can call it good there, I think.  Our hypothetical build Jeep is so loaded up already that the list of features takes up several pages when I expand it to view all on the Jeep website.

I’m sure it’s lovely and whatnot, and I know plenty of people are delighted with their Grand Cherokees, but even after this little exercise, I’d rather have the new Cherokee Trailhawk I built in the last post.