Vintage Cartoon Shelby Mustangs and a real one, too

The other day, my brother was nice enough to loan me some of his comic books.  He’s been checking in on my blog periodically and thought I’d get a kick out of a series called The Highwaymen.  It’s a comic about a couple of guys who have retired from some type of work as government agents or super secret special agent couriers who get called back into service and bring with them a pretty sweet ride from when they were in their prime.  Lots of explosions, gun fights, and fast, crazy driving ensues -it’s pretty cool.

As near as I can tell from the drawings in the comic books, what these guys have is a 1967 Shelby GT350... Or sometimes a 1967 Shelby GT500.  I landed on that particular model and year based on the outward look of the car, with its rocker and Le Mans racing stripes, the placement of the auxiliary lights in the grill, the side scoop and rear window covers, and the shape of the tail lights.  In the comic books, they’ve rendered the car a couple different ways -a subtle lapse in continuity.  In some frames, the car has ram air type scoops in the hood which would tell me it’s the GT350, but in others, it’s got a cowl hood, featuring a bit of a hump type bulge that would suggest GT500.  The placement of the auxiliary lights in the drawings also changes from book to book, and from cover art to inside art.  So, my assessment of what specific model we’re looking at is just a guess.

Shelby Mustangs came about in 1965 as a kind of cross promotion of Ford’s Mustang with Carroll Shelby’s company, Shelby American, which made a highly desirable car known as the Cobra.  Shelby’s Cobra used a Ford engine as its power source, and so it seemed like a good fit to have Shelby tweak a Ford product for racing and consumers.  This is also why these Shelby Mustangs are sometimes called Cobras and often feature cobra badges.  In 1965, these little racers packed 306HP.

Initially, you could only get a Shelby GT350 in Wimbledon White with blue stripes or blue with white stripes.  Most of the original cars only came with rocker stripes, though the Le Mans racing stripes have become kind of synonymous with these cars, and so it’s hard to find an example of a Shelby Mustang that doesn’t have them added.  It wasn’t until 1966 that Shelby GT350s were offered in other colors. 

In 1967, which is the year I think the Highwaymen have, the GT500 was offered with a 428 cu in engine with an output of 355HP.  Apparently, the Highwaymen have made some modifications on their Shelby, because in the comic, one of the characters claims that Shelby they have is packing 925HP.  Seems like overkill, and one has to wonder how they get all that power to the ground, because the rear wheels of the comic book Shelby look pretty much stock.  Usually, when dealing with crazy amounts of power like that, cars will have “tubbed” rear ends, wherein the wheel wells are dug deeper into the car so that wider wheels and tires can be mounted on the vehicle.  Otherwise, you’ll flake off a lot of that power in wheel spin and lack of traction before you ever get to use it.  Whatever, though.  It’s a comic book, and the car looks really cool.  That’s all that counts when we’re talking cartoon cars.

I have seen Shelbys in person, and in fact, saw one recently at the Ellingson Classic Cars in Rogers, in red with white stripes, even.  They’ve got a 1968 Shelby GT500KR sitting in their showroom.  The KR stands for “King of the Road”, and 1968 was the year that saw its introduction.  The KR used a 7L V8 called the Ford Cobra Jet GT.  Originally, the manufacturers claimed it only had 335HP, but word has it that was a myth perpetuated to keep insurance costs low.  The actual performance figures on this car place HP rating at around 450, which is mind-blowing for 1968.  If you’ve seen that movie Gone in 60 seconds, then you’ve seen a modified, nitrous-infused version of a GT500KR called Eleanor. 

Just to give you some perspective here: back in 1967, a person could purchase a GT350 for $3,995, or a GT500 for $4,195, or a 1968 GT500KR for $4,473.  The Shelby sitting in the Ellingson showroom is priced at $169,950, and even just to get your hands on a GT500 of this era in lousy shape, needing a total restoration would cost you between $70,000-$90,000.  Kinda wish you could time travel and buy one, don't you?

So, what accounts for the difference in horse power between our comic book car and an actual Shelby GT500 or GT350?  Probably just reality when you get right down to it.  However, these days one can buy a car called the Shelby 1000.  It’s essentially a new Shelby GT500 Mustang (already rated at 662HP with a base price of around $55,000) that you send back to Shelby American along with an extra $150,000 (for the street legal version) or $200,000 (for the non-street legal Track Pack racing version), and they rebuild your car into a ridiculously powerful, take-no-prisoners warhorse armed with 1,100 HP.  If the Highwaymen ever decided to update their ride, the Shelby 1000 is what they would drive.  
       

  

The Super Duty Trade Up

My last post talked about traffic citations, which brought to mind a customer I had from my car selling days who brought in a vehicle to trade, stating “I can’t get away with a damn thing in this sucker!”  The guy’s name was Dwayne, and what he brought me was a huge, two-tone painted Black over Competition Orange truck.  I spotted this one in the picture the other day while out and about, and the truck Dwayne traded in is pretty much the same, but instead of having 4 full sized doors (known in Ford land as the “Super Crew”), he had what is called a “Supercab” version, meaning that it had two regular doors plus little suicide doors for the back seat passengers.  This truck of which I write is the 2004 Ford F250 Super Duty Harley Davidson Edition 4x4.

Ford’s partnership with the Harley Davidson brand goes back to 1999, when they made their first F150 pick up and debuted it as a 2000 model at that big motorcycle shin-dig in South Dakota called Sturgis.  It wasn’t until 2004 that they rolled out Super Duty Harley Davidson trucks to match.  You could get one of these in your choice of 3 paint options:  Monotone black, black over Dark Shadow Grey two tone, or black over Competition Orange two tone.  Harley trucks come adorned with special badges and chrome accents like chromed tubular step rails, exhaust tips and some trim.  Brand new in 2004, one of the Harley Davidson Super Duty diesel trucks would have cost right around $50,000.

Most commonly seen in the Super Duty Harley Davidson trucks were the Super Crew 4 doors, and much less so, the supercabs -to the point that my dealership’s owner insisted that the truck I wanted to take in on trade was an imposter.  He swore up and down that as long as he’d been in the business, Ford never made Super Duty Harley trucks in Supercab versions -he was wrong, and to prove it, we broke down the VIN on the truck digit by digit to determine what we were dealing with.  Dwayne’s truck had the optional 6.0L Powerstroke Turbo Diesel engine that was good for 325 HP and 560 lb ft of torque, and was paired with a 5 speed automatic transmission. 

It was a showy truck.  One can certainly understand why Dwayne insisted he couldn’t get away with anything while driving it.  On the other hand, I thought it would make a good piece for our lot, as trucks were kind of my bread and butter when I sold vehicles.  We used to have custom lift trucks built from our new F-series pickups, and they drew people into the lot better than anything else.  Sometimes, those people would take one of them home -but that’s for another posting. 

Dwayne didn’t just want rid of his super noticeable Harley truck because he was racking up citations with it.  There was something else he wanted.  I’d talked to him a couple weeks before he finally came in ready to deal.  At that time he had been on the lot with his friend who was a Mustang enthusiast and had a garage full of tuned up ponies to race around in.  Dwayne had his eye on a Tungsten Grey Mustang GT convertible with a black top and, aside from having a 5 speed manual transmission instead of an automatic, featured pretty much every conceivable option loaded into it.  In 2006, the GT Mustang (like mine) came with a 4.6L V8 that put out 300HP and 320 lb ft of torque, which is plenty, but pales in comparison to what the new 5.0 coyote engine will do, and is actually less brawny than the new V6 that you can get these days.

 The thing was, Dwayne was also practical.  He only wanted to take his Mustang on the road in summer, so he would need a secondary vehicle for winter driving.  He wanted something with 4x4 but didn’t want to have to spend too much money over what his trade in would be worth.  I told him I’d try to find something to make it work, and with that, I crammed into the back seat of the convertible and went for a spin with Dwayne and his girlfriend.  They loved the Mustang, and I knew they really wanted it, but I needed to pair the brand new Mustang with a used winter driver.  Nothing on our used lot would work with the numbers that Dwayne wanted to see.  It was late in 2006, and there were lots of manufacturer incentives available on that Mustang, which gave me a little room to work with, but that convertible had originally clocked in with a sticker price of around $40,000, and Dwayne’s truck was valuable, but not that valuable. 

I sat Dwayne and his girlfriend down at my desk and told them I’d be back with a vehicle for them to check out.  I snagged a fist full of keys out of the bowl where we threw the keys to cars we had just taken in on trade and hot-footed it over to the fresh trade row.  We had a couple of 2001 Ford Expedition XLT 4x4s sitting there, and a quick peek at the odometers and the coded listing of how much we owned them for made me decide to hop into the black one.  I drove it into a detailing bay and tossed out any and all of its former owner’s left behind stuff before bringing it around front for Dwayne.  This time, Dwayne’s girlfriend did the driving on the test spin first, and she gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up.  Sure, it had around 100,000 miles on its odometer, but it ran strong and everything worked just as it should.  It wasn’t as flashy as the Harley truck, but it was black, which Dwayne liked.  The trim featured cloth interior instead of leather, but so what?  The new Mustang convertible had the premium interior, so at least one of the two vehicles kept them at the trim level they were used to. 

In 2001, the Ford Expedition was offered with a 4.6L V8 much like the Mustang’s, but it was only tuned for 215HP and 290 lb ft of torque.  Really though, Dwayne was trading in 325 HP and 560 lb ft of torque, and getting a total of 515HP and 610 lb ft of torque in exchange, so when he looked at it that way, the numbers made sense.  So, Dwayne, who had come in with one big black and orange truck, left with a black 4x4 and a grey Mustang GT convertible.  Who knows how well he fared in terms of speeding tickets after leaving behind his less than subtle truck, but I bet when it's a beautiful summer day and he drives around with the top dropped on that Mustang, he’s glad he made the swap. 

Regulations and citations

It’s a weekend, and I overslept, missing out on the event I was planning to attend today.  I’ll go another time, I suppose, but in the meantime, I thought I’d talk about one thing I did accomplish (yesterday), which was finally getting around to renewing my license plate tags.  I could have done it via mail, but I don’t trust the turn around time, as I put this off until the last minute, more or less.  So, yesterday, I spent a little while steeling myself for the inundation of screaming babies, misbehaving unsupervised kids, and grumpy adults that populate the waiting area at the DMV.  Amazingly, there wasn’t a single caterwauling infant in earshot, nor any naughty kids tipping over brochure stands while their parents look on as if it’s perfectly acceptable for their offspring to act like coked up rock stars trashing a hotel room in public, nor did any of the adults seem on the verge of having a meltdown.  I was in and out of the DMV within 10 minutes, though I left there $133 poorer than when I walked in. 


Then, today, as I was writing the paragraph you just read (unless you skipped ahead to this one -in which case, shame on you!  I put about 2 minutes of thought and 3 minutes of work into that, so show some appreciation why don’t you!)….  As I was saying, while I was writing that, I noticed some commotion outside my house.  Low and behold, the police pulled over a guy on a motorcycle.  From the way they converged on him with sirens and lights on, two squads coming from the east on 26th and another squad from the North on Fremont, I would guess that they were after this guy either because he evaded the cop who originally tried to pull him over, or they were receiving several driving complaints about him prior to locating him.  Either way, I’d be willing to bet this all started off with the guy on the speed bike doing some bonehead thing like blasting through a residential area at 90MPH (happens all the time around here), or nearly hitting some kid. 

So, these two things are leading up in a rather round about way to the automotive topic of the day, which is regulations and citations. 

Take our motorcyclist for example.  I’ll bet that he’s probably going to get handed a ticket for reckless driving/racing on street or highway (MN statute 169.13.1b) which will mean he has to show up in court…or the same statute only the “a” version of it for reckless driving-willful or wanton disregard for safety, which also means he has to go to court.  They’re both misdemeanors.  Of course, they could go a bit easier on him and cite him for Careless Driving (MN Statute 169.13.2) which will cost him $178.  There’s also an array of speeding violations that start off at $145.  If he happened to do this on a school day he probably would have blasted through some school zones, which is a violation of 169.14.5a(b) and has a fine of $212, same amount for speeding through a work zone.  Either way, no bueno. 

We’ll go over some more fines and citations, but before we do, you may be wondering why the cars I’ve selected for this post are all black.  That’s because in my experience, driving a black car is more likely to get you pulled over than driving the same exact way in a car of a different color.  Black paint, when clean and polished is perhaps the most beautiful and elegant color to have on a car, but it comes at a price.  I should know.  The very first speeding ticket I ever got, back when I was 16, was in a black car.  I racked up several while driving my black Jeep and one or two while borrowing the black Infiniti M30 coupe my brother used to own before getting wise and switching to a different color. 

Aside from the fact that green is my favorite color, there’s a reason I insist upon owning green cars.  I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket while driving a green car.  I’ve been pulled over plenty, but always let off with a warning (which seems fair, because I don’t drive crazy, I keep my car well under control, and I make a point of not endangering anybody with my road-going antics, so any ticket given to me would really just be a technicality, which doesn’t seem in keeping with the spirit of why we have laws and ordinances to begin with).  I did get a parking ticket once in my previous green Mustang, but it wasn’t even for how I parked, but rather because my license plate had a frame around it -I contested the ticket, removed the frame, and saved myself from paying the $108 fine.  Green is the way to go people -I’m just sayin’. 

So, I’m trying to think of things that I see on pretty much a daily basis while driving my typical circuit around Northside and downtown.  I’m tempted to arrange these on a grid so that next time you’re out and about, you can look at the drivers around you and play citation Bingo, but that would probably get you a fine for distracted driving or something.
Here are some to consider:

*Driving in a bicycle lane:  Statute ordinance code (SOC) 169.18.7d  -fine: $128
*Following a vehicle more closely than is reasonable or prudent (tailgating): SOC 169.18.8a -fine:$128
*Improper turn -at intersection-wrong lane: SOC 169.19.1 -fine $128
*Improper change of course or fail to signal- SOC 169.19.4 -fine $128
*Improper signal to turn (probably also covers people who drive with their turn signals perpetually blinking)-SOC 169.19.7 -fine: $128
*Driver fails to yield right of way when approaching an intersection: SOC 16.20.1 -fine $128
*Passing vehicle stopped for a pedestrian: SOC 169.21.2 -fine $178
*Fail to yield to a column of school children: SOC 169.21.2 -fine $328
*Unsafe opening or closing of vehicle doors: SOC 169.315 -fine $128
*Vehicle lighting: parking lamps in lieu of headlamps prohibited: SOC 169.48.1b -fine $118
*Muffler required: SOC 169.69 -fine $128
*Seat belt required: SOC 169.686.1a -fine $103
*Cracked windshield -obstructs proper vision: SOC 169.71.1a(2) -fine $118
*Frost or steam on windshield prohibited: SOC 169.71.3 -fine $118
*Side or rear windows with less than 50% transparency (+ or - 3%) -window tint: SOC 169.71.4(a)(3) -fine $128
*Vehicle load not properly secured: SOC 169.81.5 -fine $138 -this one would apply to pretty much all the scrappers who troll the alleyways on a daily basis with their trucks overflowing with metal debris.
*Exhibition driving: SOC 930.065 -fine: $145 -this would include burnouts and donuts-so shame on me, I guess.
*Drive without headlamps from sunset to sunrise: SOC 169.48.1(a)(1) -fine $118
*Television installed in vehicle -images must not be visible to driver: SOC 169.471.1 -fine $118
*Use of wireles communications device -compose, read, or send electronic messages while operating a motor vehicle: SOC 169.475.2 -fine: $128
*Fail to stop for a stop sign: SOC 169.30(b) -fine: $128
*Fail to yield to a funeral procession: SOC 169.20.6 -fine $128
*Fail to obey lane markers/signs: SOC 169.19.1(f) -fine $128
*Intersection gridlock/stop or block traffic -for those conversations that just can’t wait for you to pull over and park your car: SOC 169.15.2(a) -fine $128
*Speed in alleyway: SOC PB9-54 -fine $118
*Driving wrong way down one-way streets or alleys: SOC 474.240 -fine $178
*Illegal use of horn: SOC 474.130 -fine $128 -this includes honking for pretty much any reason other than to prevent an accident.  So, no honking at your friends to say hi, no laying on the horn instead of walking up to your carpool buddy’s door to let them know you’ve arrived, and no honking to show somebody you’re angry.
*Drive on the sidewalk: SOC 427.140(a) -fine $145

Some of these seem like no-brainers, but keep in mind, each of these exist because somewhere, sometime, somebody did a bonehead thing and created a need for an ordinance or statute to exist.  Drive safe, my friends, and keep your tags up to date, your license valid, and your insurance current. 

A tale from the fresh trade row: the Lincoln LS

Because yesterday’s post talked about the fresh trade row, I thought I’d expand on the topic for today’s automotive exploration.  So I offer you now, a tale from the fresh trade row. 

In 2006, when I worked for a Ford/Mercury/Saleen dealership, one of my clients was a young man from Texas who had recently finished a stint in the military and ended up following his heart to Minnesota to start a life with the woman he was going to marry.  He brought with him an immaculate 2003 flare side Ford F-150 super cab in white with a black pinstripe, spray in bed liner, soft truxedo bed cover, low miles, and rear wheel drive.  He was looking to get into a family sedan but didn’t want the typical front wheel drive set up. 

One of my client’s jobs while he served in the Armed Forces was to function as a chauffer (I’m sure there’s a military term for this, but I don’t know it) for Generals and other high ranking military figures.  He had been trained in evasive, defensive, and offensive driving maneuvers to safely transport the officials, and would carry out these tasks behind the wheel of a Mercury Grand Marquis.  A Grand Marquis is essentially a Ford Crown Victoria with a little bit nicer trim… or as my dad always says: “A Mercury is a Ford with the bolts tightened.”   My family sedan shopper wanted a rear wheel drive sedan that could handle the driving techniques he had been trained to do, though hopefully he wouldn’t need to employ any of those maneuvers while shuttling the family to and fro. 

I was kicking myself as I tried to find a car compatible with my guy’s list of demands, because not too long before he had found his way into the seat across the desk from mine in my little office, I had the perfect car sitting in our lot.  I don’t know where it came from, but one day when I came back from a day off, there was a Dark Pearl Blue 2004 Mercury Marauder parked in the used section of the lot.  The first time I spotted it, I made a dash inside to snatch up the keys and take it for a spin only to discover that my friend J.T. had already pocketed the keys and had designs on testing the car’s mettle himself.  Since we were buddies, he agreed to share, and off we went on our back-roads testing circuit in the Marauder.

For those who may not know what the Marauder is, here we go:  A Mercury Marauder was originally a 1960’s model high performance sedan.  The name was revived a couple times, with the most recent revival being in 2003-2004, for a production run of right around 10,000 cars offered in Black, Silver Birch, Dark Pearl Blue, or Toreador Red.  These cars were on the surface a Grand Marquis, but differed in a few ways.  First, all the bright work on the car (stuff that would have been chrome-like in finish like the grill) was body colored or matte black, and its badges were still Mercury badges, but featured the god-head in profile Mercury emblem .  Inside trim featured satin aluminum finishes, and the speedometer from the Crown Victoria Police interceptor.  Under its hood sat a 4.6L dual overhead cam V8 tuned for 302HP and 318 lb ft of torque that would broadcast its revving anthem via dual exhausts jutting out the back end.  For a full sized sedan, these things looked wicked fast, and drove that way, too. 

J.T. and I had our fun in the Marauder.  We put it through its paces, but never beat it up… after all, we had to sell that thing.  Unfortunately, neither of us did sell it.  An internet buyer swooped in and picked it up, giving the sale to a friend who handled internet sales named Raina. So, back to square one for me.  I wanted to put the deal together for my client, and frankly, I wanted his truck in our lot.  It was a beautiful and well cared for machine with a great balance of power and options that I knew I could find a buyer for. 

I lamented the loss of the Marauder, and cursed the internet for stealing it out from under me, but then a little silver sparkle caught my eye.  It just so happened that I had overlooked a silver 2005 Lincoln LS sport that was parked in the used inventory section.   -The LS was offered from 2000-2006, so you can only get a used one these days.  Sure, it wasn’t as big as the Marauder.  In fact, it was 5” slimmer width-wise, 18” shorter in length, about 2” shorter in height, and about 475 pounds lighter.  But, a Lincoln LS is a rear wheel drive sedan, and the one we had was a sport tuned V8, so it had some abilities.  I just didn’t know if my client would want it. 

*This isn't the Lincoln from the story, but an LS I spotted while out and about a couple weeks ago.

I decided to see if the idea would fly and began to sing the praises of the LS to my client.  Sure, the 3.9L V8 in the LS was only good for 280HP as opposed to the 302 of the Marauder, but there was less weight for those horses to haul around too.  The LS was the sport version and came equipped with a sport tuned suspension, so you could  almost throw its weight around like you would with a Mustang.  It shared a platform with two other cars of its day: the Jaguar S-type, and the retro-slick Ford Thunderbird, and the one I had for sale was loaded up with all kinds of great goodies inside. 

As it turned out, I could have saved myself a lot of that effort, because my customer had been eyeballing that very LS.  He was thrilled by the idea of taking it on, but worried that it might be out of his league, so he hadn’t thought he should dare to bring it up.  My dealership owned that Lincoln for an amount that gave me some flexibility, and we’d had it on the lot for about a month, so I thought we could make it work.  We went for a test drive, and my customer loved it, though I was disappointed he didn’t demonstrate any of his super secret military driving maneuvers for me. 

We put together a deal that gave him a pretty good amount of trade allowance for his truck, which worried me a bit, because it seemed like it might not leave much meat on the bone for reselling the F150 -but we did it anyway.  My Lincoln buyer was pretty happy and seemed to think that if he stuck around, I might change my mind about the deal, so he signed over and left his truck without bothering to roll back the bed cover to clean out the 3 big bags of aluminum cans he had been meaning to take in for recycling before he got sidelined with car shopping.  Off he sped off in his LS. 

After he left, I tagged the F150 flare side I had just taken in, and parked it in the fresh trade row behind the dealership so the used inventory manager could come through later in the week and see if he wanted to pull it for the lot or send it off to auction.  A couple days later, I was walking laps of the lot on a slow day and happened to run into a middle aged couple who were cruising the lot, looking at trucks.  They didn’t want to buy new, and didn’t need anything really heavy duty.  The guy wanted a truck to haul around his little boat, and the gal figured she could also use it in her gardening hobby.  They didn’t seem to find anything that struck their fancy and were about to leave when I remembered the flare side I’d just taken in.  I advised them to drive over to the back lot and take a look what we had and get back to me if they liked anything they saw.  They drove off, and I hadn’t even completed my next lap before they came roaring back to find me.  They wanted to take the flare side F150 for a test drive.  I warned them that it hadn’t been detailed or even properly inventoried yet, though it was a very clean truck to begin with.  I had them wait at my office while I trotted off to grab the keys. 

Luckily, I checked the bed of the truck and spotted the bags of recycling before I brought it around for my new customers to drive (I didn’t want them to have to listen to a bunch of cans clinking around in the bed on their test drive).  I dragged the bags over to where I had my Mustang parked and, for lack of any better place to put them, crammed them into my own car, where they took up the entire back seat and the front passenger seat.  Then I brought the truck around for the couple to take out for a spin.  They very much liked it, and wanted to buy it that day.  The guy kept commenting on what a nice looking rig it was, and his wife seemed to be in agreement, whereas she had pooh-poohed some of the other trucks in our used inventory, stating that she didn‘t like the thought of her friends seeing her behind the wheel of this truck or that one.  I knew exactly what we owned it for and was able to negotiate a cash deal that was fair to them but also made it worth my while.  Then I pestered the guys in the detailing shop to push my flare side to the front of their workload for the day so I could get my customers into their new truck without making them have to wait around for hours.

I saw my guy who bought the LS a few days later.  He drove into the lot and flagged me down asking where his truck had gone.  He was loving his new Lincoln, but thought he would swing by to say hello to his dear old truck while he was in the area.  I told him his truck hadn’t spent much time at all in the limbo of the fresh trade row before finding a new home, and that seemed to brighten his day. 

…And so, there you have it: a tale from the fresh trade row that has a happy ending for all: a sport tuned Lincoln LS for one guy, a pretty little truck for the couple, and two sales for me.                 

The Aerio: Purgatory or Life In A New Age?

Today’s vehicle is one I spotted in the fresh trade row of a car dealership the other day. The thing about the fresh trade row is that it’s kind of like automotive purgatory.  The sad little cars and trucks that have been left behind in favor of newer, shinier models are all lined up, waiting to learn their fate.  If they’re new enough themselves, and in decent shape with low mileage, they’ll be plucked from the trade in row and sent to the in-house detailing shop for a thorough cleaning followed by a mechanical inspection before being placed in the used section of the car lot.  There they’ll sit, resentfully regarding the brand new vehicles on the other side of the lot that lost them their place in the driveway to begin with, but also hoping for a new driver to come along and take an interest in them… or they would feel that way if they could, anyway. 

But what of the other trades: the beaters, the worn and torn, and the just plain not new enough anymore cars?  They stay in the limbo of the fresh trade row.  On occasion, somebody might spot one of them sitting in the back of the lot behind the dealership and inquire about it inside. Car dealerships are interested in making money, so if the offer made is enough to cover what they gave in trade allowance plus some extra for all their trouble, then they’ll send the car off with a warning to its new owner that “if it breaks in half tomorrow, you own both pieces”.  In other words, don’t bring it back. 

As for the rest of the cars, they’re left sitting there like a confab of awkward kids who always get picked last to be on the gym class dodge ball team.  Then one day, the dealership gets their team of drivers -often times retirees (cheap to insure) who work part time to drive vehicles from one dealership to another for dealer trades and what not- and they each get behind the wheel of these vehicular misfits and caravan to a huge expanse of concrete and cars known as the auto auction.  The cars will be cataloged and parked for eyeball inspection before being driven (or some times pushed) through the bidding line, where used car dealers will compete for them.  Some will be bought for sale on bargain lots, some for parts, some for scrap, and some, not at all. 



This brings us back to the little yellow Suzuki Aerio SX wagon.  This is probably a 2003 model or some year close to it, which means it’s far too old to make it into the used section of the new car dealership where it sits.  As if its impending and uncertain fate wasn’t bad enough already, it comes from a sad background.  You see, just a few months ago, Suzuki announced that it was ceasing its passenger car sales in the US market, making this car a kind of orphan now, which is like rubbing salt in the wound that was already created when the Aerio was replaced by its newer sibling, the Suzuki SX4.

Mind you, Suzuki is still doing well elsewhere in the world, and they still sell a variety of other things like marine vehicles and motorcycles in the US, but no more cars.  In fact, if anyone reading this watches the BBC’s Top Gear, you may recall that a Suzuki Aerio sedan is the car that show used during its first few seasons to send its celebrity guests racing around their course. -Well, not an Aerio, per se.  In Europe, the Aerio was called the LIANA, which is an acronym meaning “Life In A New Age”.  Hmmm…. I think perhaps it’s for the best that Suzuki has left the US market before they could try to come out with a model called the YOLO or something equally irritating.
I don’t know what it was that caught my eye about this little Aerio.  Maybe that it still looked so perky even though it was parked in the fresh trade row, or perhaps that it kind of looks like an itty bitty yellow school bus?  At any rate, it just had this sweet look about it, and I decided to pay it some attention.  This particular one probably cost between $15,000-$18,000 brand new back in 2003.  These Aerios could be had with an AWD option, which in fact, this very Aerio is equipped with.  In the early 2000’s, these were the least expensive AWD vehicles on the new market.  They featured a 2.0L 4 cylinder with either a 4 speed automatic or a 5 speed manual for 141HP and 135 lb ft of torque. The SX even came with an upgrade from the base 14” steel wheels, offering 15” alloy wheels instead.  Big deal, you say?  15” is nothing compared to the factory 20” rims some cars come with today.  Maybe so, but have you ever bought a set of tires for those 20” rims?  Crazy expensive.  15” rims though?  Cheap!  -which was the word of the day for people who were looking to buy the cheapest AWD car on the market, after all. 

Sure, this little Aerio probably has some life left in it as a commuter car, but I keep thinking that it might make a nice little hot hatch project for somebody… on the cheap, of course.  So, lets suppose that the Aerio piled on a conservative 12,000 miles a year from the time it was new in ’03, for a total of 120,000 miles (I think this one probably has more than that, but we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt here).  The dealership probably owns it for around $2,000 (maybe less if they really low-balled the car’s owner while negotiating).  One could probably buy it for around $3,000 -maybe more, maybe less depending on how much trade allowance was piled on it when putting together the deal for the new vehicle. 

So, for around $3,000, you’ve now got a car that you should be able to get another 50,000-80,000 miles out of with relatively few, if any breakdowns.  But let’s say you’re not satisfied with that.  Lets say you figure you want to make it something special.  You could buy a body kit, have it painted and installed, though really, this one’s already got ground effects and a rear wing, and it‘s kinda cute, in a stodgy lil’ wagon way.  Maybe instead, let’s err on the side of being cheap and spend $20 on a headlight restoration kit to polish those road-blasted lenses up to crystal clear again.  Or maybe shop around on Ebay and spend $80-100 on some aftermarket headlight arrays.  Spend another $10 on a decent car wax or rubbing compound and buff the dull right off that paint. 

Now it’s looking a bit more like new, but it’s still pretty stock at this point.  Let’s spring for a new air intake and exhaust that will let the car breathe easier and probably give you 5 more horsepower to zip around with -it‘ll cost you a few hundred bucks to do them both, but it will also sound better once it‘s done.  Not satisfied with that?  Well, there’s a bolt-on electric supercharger kit that can be had online for $180 and supposedly can make the engine crank out up to 80 more HP.  Who knows how well it works, how many HP you’ll really get, or whether or not it will blow your engine to smithereens, but for $180, you almost have to try it.  You’ll still have a couple hundred bucks left over to hit the junkyard or Craigslist to buy some new used rims if you want to flash things up a bit before you hit the $1,000 mark in add-ons and upgrades. 

Seems like it might be a fun car to tweak around, doesn’t it?  The best part is that Suzukis never did sell that well here in the US, which is why they’re not for sale here anymore, but it’s also why having this Aerio would mean you’ve got a car that’s uncommon to start with.  Add on some customization and upgrades, and it will be one of a kind in no time.   …And to think that all that fun and potential is just sitting there in automobile purgatory known as the fresh trade row.