Accidents and Sad Pandas

I’ve skipped a couple days of cars, so to make up for it, here’s a trio of vehicles that were making a ruckus outside at the corner around midnight tonight.  I was sitting in my living room, staying up late watching a documentary on Netflix when from outside, I heard a loud thump followed almost immediately by a second, lighter thump.  I paused my movie and went to the window.  This is what I saw. 

First, I noticed a white Oldsmobile Alero with its rear end all mashed up coasting slowly across the intersection, steering to the side of the road.  Then, I noticed a Taxi Crown Victoria with a mashed up front end stopped at the intersection with its bumper hovering over a scatter of tail light lens remnants and paint flakes on the ground.  Behind the Taxi was a tan Chrysler 300M with the driver’s side front end nosed under and into the rear end of the Crown Victoria. 

The order in which this accident occurred appears to be that the 300M plowed into the back of the Crown Victoria (thus making the loud first thump I heard), which pushed the Crown Victoria into the back of the Alero (making the 2nd, less jarring thump I heard).  Of course, there were more sounds to follow, starting with the fire rig that reached the scene first, blaring its sirens and flashing its lights while its engine made that unmistakable diesel thrum.  Some squad cars arrived after that, and before long, there was an ambulance on scene as well. 

You may note in one of the pictures that there’s a guy down on the ground (I've blurred his face in lieu of rushing outside to ask his permission to use his image).  He was the passenger from the cab.  Apologies for my crappy nighttime photography, by the way.  I just grabbed my point and shoot camera, and it doesn’t have the best aperture for nighttime photos.  Anyway, what’s interesting is that the cab driver was out on his feet walking all over the place and making phone calls, apparently fine by the look of things, yet his passenger did not appear to be doing well at all. He’s a big guy, and it took at least 3 firefighters and a paramedic to get him on a backboard and then lift him onto the stretcher.  Either he’s got some whiplash going on or he’s angling for a hefty insurance settlement.  Who knows?  Hope he’s ok either way. 

I’m fairly certain the guy in the Oldsmobile is in the clear from fault.. After all, he didn’t hit anybody.  He was just stopped at the light.  The taxi is sort of at some fault because he did end up hitting the Olds, though it looks like the cab was stopped behind the Olds, and was also waiting for the light when it was forced into the Olds.  The Chrysler is the vehicle whose driver is probably going to have to deal with a spike in their insurance rates as the vehicle that started the whole chain reaction. 

Oh the dread of insurance claims!  I’ve included a picture of a character I call Sad Panda to illustrate this point.  Sad Panda stands out at a corner near a strip mall and holds a sign advertising discount furniture.  The sign may as well say “buy our furniture or this panda will die!” because Sad Panda always seems particularly forlorn and downtrodden.  See in the photo how he’s lost even the will to stand and dance around, preferring instead to mope on the bus bench.  But that’s not why I’ve included this picture.  The reason it’s here is because the bench that Sad Panda is resting his withered old carcass on happens to feature an ad for my insurance agent.  If I had been driving that Chrysler 300M in tonight’s accident, I can assure you, I’d look very much like Sad Panda when it came time to deal with the insurance company.  I‘m sure my agent wouldn't be too thrilled to have a client who just caused a pile up, either.  Sad Pandas all around, I suppose. 

But what was lost or damaged in this accident?  I’m not going to speculate on medical costs and all the BS that takes place after accidents where people hire sleazy lawyers who advertise on billboards or late night TV, and then  trot around in neck braces to try to snag a big settlement.  Lets talk about the cars and assume that they all had comprehensive coverage instead of just liability.

First up is the instigator:  The Tan Chrysler 300M, which is not to be confused with the 300.  The 300M was sold from 1999-2004 and came with a 3.5L V6 that was good for 253HP and 255 lb ft of torque.  For the sake of simplicity, we’ll assume this was a 2004 model -the last year it was made, and we’ll put the mileage at 100,000.  Kelley Blue Book says that one in excellent condition could be worth around $6,900 retail.  You might have noticed some dimples along the passenger rear quarter panel in the photo.  It’s extremely unlikely that those dents came from this accident, so that excellent status is pretty well shot.  Plus, you can count on the insurance company trying to low ball the client (because at this point, it’s pretty said and done that this car is totaled), so a more realistic settlement would be around $4,500.

Up next is our taxi.  Most of the Ford Crown Victoria Taxis I see around Minneapolis are retired police interceptors (they may be repainted, but the interceptor badge is still affixed to the trunk lid).  I’ve talked about specs on the Crown Vic Police Interceptor in previous posts, so we won’t rehash that.  But how much is it worth?  A glance at what’s for sale on xgovernmentcars.com shows examples as follows: An ‘09 model with 129,000 miles for around $5,500, an ‘07 with 127,000 miles for $4,800, and an ‘06 with 131,000 miles for just under $5,000.  So, a settlement on this Crown Vic would be $4,500-$5,000, I would guess.

Last is the white Oldsmobile Alero sedan.  This car shared the same life span as the 300M that may have just caused this particular vehicle’s demise.  Sold from 1999-2004, the Alero is considered a compact car, and it shares a platform with the Pontiac Grand Am.  Sadly, both Oldsmobile and Pontiac are no longer as brands, so if this one is totaled, it’s not going to be repopulated in the automotive world with a newer model.  In fact, an Alero Sedan was the very last Oldsmobile ever built, and the very last one off the assembly line now sits in a museum. 

These cars came with 3 engine options throughout their manufacturing lives, but since we’re going to assume this one is a 2004 example, I’ll only mention the two that were available that year.   There was a 2.4L inline 4 cylinder with 150HP  and also a 3.4L V6 with 170HP and 210 lb ft of torque.  Assuming a 2004 model year with 100,000 miles, KBB places an excellent example of this car at a value of $6,440.  If it’s totaled (and it may not be -but at nearly 10 years old, it probably will be) I’d bet the settlement ends up at about $4,200-5,000. 

Kind of amazing that an accident that may well have totaled 3 cars probably caused less than $15,000 in property damage to the vehicles with them all being considered totaled.  Add it all up, and you could buy a brand new subcompact car for that $15,000, like a Ford Fiesta or a Smartcar, a Mazda2, a Kia Rio, or a Nissan Versa.  Of course, it’s unlikely that the drivers of these cars are going to pool their insurance checks and share a subcompact together, so unless they add on some extra cash to their hypothetical settlement checks, they’re going to be looking at used cars or bus passes -perhaps Sad Panda will have some company at his bus bench after all. 

The Saab of Doom

Here’s a Saab 900S Cabrio that was spotted the other day in downtown Minneapolis.  Street parking is not really it’s thing… or rather, not really its driver’s thing, if you couldn’t tell from the 2.5 foot span of space between it and the curb.  I think sometimes people figure the bicycle lane will serve as a buffer between their cars and moving traffic, so they get really close or actually into the bike lane between the parking lane and the traffic lane without realizing that a cyclist can knock off a side view mirror just as easily as a car can.   
This Saab is probably a 1994-1998 model year 900S, and while it may seem innocuous enough just to look at it, some people think this car signaled the beginning of the end for Saab. 

Saab began as a Swedish aerospace company that specialized in defense.  In the 1940’s Saab started up their automobile division.  The 900, which Saab made from the late 70’s up until 1993 is the typical odd-duck that probably springs to mind when somebody says Saab.  It featured a slanted rear end and a windshield that wrapped around a bit to provide an exceptional range of view.  Some commercials liked to play up the whole “We’re a Jet company” angle, but really, the only carryover is the windshield, which is kind of like the glass of a cockpit. 

Anyway, the 900 was a quirky car in that its engine was mounted backwards from how its peers of the day did it, and also slanted at an angle.  The transmission sat below the engine, and the hood hinged at the front on this front wheel drive, front engine car.  That bunch of strange managed to keep people interested and buying Saabs for a good long while.  Back in 1990, General Motors bought controlling interest in Saab, and then 10 years later, bought the rest.

So it was that in 1994, GM’s influence took over and spurred the choice to change the strange and install a 2.3L inline 4 cylinder engine (good for right around 150 HP) under the hood facing the way God intended.  While they were at it, they flipped the hood hinge position the more traditional rear-hinge set up.  Outwardly, though, the car looked pretty much as it always had.

These changes did cause an initial boost in sales, but some Saab purists just weren’t having it.  The car was actually improved in terms of safety ratings and performance, but that quirkiness that had drawn people to the vehicle to begin with was starting to slip away.  With later improvements and revamping of the 900/900s that became known as the 9-3, the car got better and better -on paper, anyway, at the same time as it got less and less interesting.  The magic had been drained from the brand, and buyers began to shop other brands, ultimately leading to GM selling Saab in 2010, but then refusing to let the new buyer turn around and sell its designs to a Chinese company for fear that the lax piracy law enforcement in China would result in theft of their ideas and designs, and harm GM‘s sales there (because by 2010, Saab was little more than a hollowed out Swedish shell stuffed with GM parts).  It was a mess. 

So here you have it, the 900S, the first example of GM’s meddling with a car that was loved for its quirks and oddities.  It may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but it left the world with no more Saabs.  

Lucky Lotus 7

Check out this cute little Lotus 7 I spotted parked along Washington in the North Loop today.  The 7 is a prime example of what Lotus automobiles are about: speed and agility through lightness.   This was accomplished though the small size of the vehicle, a lack of gadgets and doo-dads that would add weight, and the use of aluminum for the body panels, which weighs considerably less than an identical panel done in steel.    As production cars go, a Lotus is probably the closest to feeling, performing, and handling like a go cart. 

The Lotus 7 was sold from 1957-1972, and even after Lotus stopped making them, one could still acquire a 7 through a company that bought the rights and the leftover parts for the 7.  That company is called Caterham, and to this day, they can sell you a 7 as a kit car or fully assembled.  That’s appropriate though, because Lotus originally operated as a kind of unassembled kit car company in order to avoid some British tax surcharges.

  Originally, the 7 featured a 1,172 cc or approximately 1.2L I4 engine that whipped up only 40 HP.  With a car this small and light, though, 40 HP is not a bad start.  There were, of course upgrades along the way to accommodate racing needs.  The kits you can buy nowadays, both from Caterham and a host of other replica companies can offer a vehicle that you can supply with more power and performance via newer engines like a Honda Vtec I4, or any of a wide array of available 4 cylinders.  I bet it would be a real rocket with one of Ford’s Ecoboost engines under the hood -and it wouldn’t be too much of a sacrilege to do so considering the original Lotus 7 power plant came from Ford in the first place.  Ford even has a 1.0L 3 cylinder engine that can zing 123 HP.  I bet if Lotus had been able to plant such a powerful little monster into its original 7’s back in the day, they would have been all over that.  But, if we want to keep in the spirit of 4 cylinders, there’s always the 2.0L Ecoboost that graces the engine compartment of the Focus ST and provides 247 HP to zip around with. 

I looked around a bit, and it seems that one can buy an example of an original Lotus 7 for between $35,000 and $40,000, based on the Hemmings ads I‘ve managed to scrounge up.  Remember, that gets you something vintage and precious with anything from 40 HP on up depending on how it’s configured.  If it’s faster fun you’re looking for, then I’d suggest a kit version.  Caterham, which is licensed to use the Lotus name and badging, can hook you up with a rolling chassis 7 kit for $29,580 and you supply the engine and transmission… oh yeah, and you put it together, too.  That sure seems like its getting awfully close to what you’d pay for an original, doesn’t it?  There’s another outfit in the game as well that offers similar authenticity to Caterham.  It’s a company called Birkin.  They managed to get their hands on the original tooling for the 7, and their kits are very close to the original 7 as well.  Pricing seems to be about the same, and you can pay a company in Texas to do the assembly work for you if you don’t feel like getting your hands dirty.  There are a bunch of other kit car companies that offer versions of the Lotus 7, sans licensed emblems and such, of course, and the prices will vary a bit.

I don’t know if the 7 I saw today was original or a Caterham kit, but either way, it called out to me like a bright little beacon from its parking spot along  Washington.  This isn’t some Pontiac Fiero that’s been decked out to look like a Ferrari.  There’s no shame in having a Lotus 7 kit car, because the kit element is part of this car’s heritage.  Personally, I’d love to try assembling one.  How awesome would that be to own and drive a car that you know down to the nuts and bolts because you built it with your own two hands?  What a fantastic (albeit, expensive) learning experience it would be! 

The Grand Vitara's Fall Into Daytime Television Fodder

Today brings us yet another specimen from the fresh trade row.  It’s a 2001 Suzuki Grand Vitara equipped with 4x4 and a 2.5L V6 that‘s good for 155 HP and averaged high teens to low 20‘s for gas mileage. 

This little SUV has definitely seen better days.  If you’ve read a previous post involving a certain little yellow Aerio hatch, you’ll recall that Suzuki has pulled out of the US market for car sales.  That certainly doesn’t help with the trade in value of this Grand Vitara (in the shape it‘s in, I‘d be surprised if its owner got even $1,000 in trade allowance for it). Of course, this vehicle has more than that counting against it.  From the looks of things, this Suzuki’s driver never met a door ding or mail box post that wasn’t welcome to leave its mark on the poor little rig during the course of piling on the 160,000 miles that the intake tag indicates it has on its odometer. 

Of greater interest and concern was this: the bullet hole in the passenger side door of the car.  It’s a through and through shot, too.  Check out the interior shot.  You can see where it went through, right at the perfect level to hit the passenger in the upper leg.  Interesting how there is a seat cover on the passenger side of this vehicle… Wonder if that’s there to cover a blood stain?  I’m pretty sure it is.

 I can relate to this on some level though, as my previous Mustang suffered a similar fate.  That car took a bullet to the driver’s side door, though not when anybody was in the car, but rather, while it was parked in the street (this is why I garage my car now).  I don’t think my car was the target in that case, but just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when some idiot with a gun and lousy aim decided to fire at God only knows what or who.  The Mustang shot must have been from a far enough distance to keep the slug from hitting with enough force to completely penetrate, though it did leave quite the deep dimple on the door skin.  This Suzuki though?  No such luck, and it certainly seems as though this car is in fact a crime scene on four wheels. 

If cars could talk, what a story this Grand Vitara would tell.  The narrative would be the type of stuff that would come together as one of those dramatic, harrowing, and poorly acted Lifetime television movies; a woeful tale of neglect and abuse, violence, and betrayal, and ultimately abandonment in the fresh trade row.  Think that Cars movie, but with an infusion of daytime television Soap Opera theatrics, some violence, and a big dose of tear-jerking melodrama.  But what a little trooper this car is to survive through all these conditions…. Oh wait, a Trooper is an Isuzu.  Scratch that.  This Grand Vitara, no longer grand by any means, is headed to the auto auction without a doubt, where it will likely be purchased as a parts car or for scrap.  A sad end to a rough life for this vehicle; but think of the weepy ending this fate provides for its automotive Lifetime movie: " Drive to Die For: the Secret Life of the Grand Vitara -A Tragic Loss of Resale Value"  -Hollywood gold!

1977 Ford LTD II: Boogie Nights In The Fresh Trade Row

I found today’s car in the fresh trade row of a dealership the other day.  It‘s a 1977 Ford LTD II.  This car is a bit older than most of the cars it was put out to pasture with, and I was a little surprised to see somebody had traded it in.  Usually, dealerships have no idea what to do with vehicles this old.  It’s not particularly collectible, nor is it in pristine condition (though aside from the vinyl top needing some work, it’s not too bad), so it’s not like it would make a good novelty piece for the showroom.  It’s too old to go on the lot, and no way would it be covered by any warranty. 

When dealing with a car like this, one’s best bet is to sell it privately and use the money gained toward a down payment on a new car, because a dealership is probably only going to give a few hundred dollars in trade for it.  This is an eye catching car, in part because there just aren’t many of them surviving in any kind of decent shape anymore, and also because it’s freakin’ fabulous in a cheesy kind of way.

Under its hood, the ‘77 LTD came only with gas-guzzling V8 options.  The base engine was a 302 cu in (5.0L, roughly) V8 that woofed out 130 HP and 243 lb ft of torque, on up the ladder to the 351 cu in that made 149 HP and 291 lb ft of torque, to the top of the heap 400 cu in V8 that cranked out 173 HP and 326 lb ft of torque.  All of these lovelies would net their driver right around 12-13 MPG while saving their drivers the hassle of shifting via an array of automatic transmissions called the “Cruise-O-Matic” that is by and large considered junk next to its lighter and better-built sibling, the C-4 transmission. 

I’m sure this car will be sent to the auto auction, but hopefully, somebody with an eye for inexpensive, semi-classic cars will pick it up and treat it right by finding it a new owner.  In the shape this one is in, with the relatively low mileage of 76,000 (according to the intake tag in the window -though who knows if the odometer has rolled over once already or not), it’s got a retail value of around $2,000-3,000 if the right buyer can be found.      

The ’77 Ford LTD is a behemoth by today’s midsized car standards, though it was sold as a mid-sized vehicle even as its competition was shrinking in dimension.  Looking at its elongated lines, massive hood and trunk, and Landau top, one has to wonder how anybody drove around in one of these without feeling like some kind of pimp.  That was the trend at the time, I suppose.  After all, this was a car of the disco era, and it had to match all the class of the polyester leisure suit its driver was probably wearing at the time.  And Landau tops?  I occasionally see some aftermarket applications of these on late model Cadillac sedans and Buicks in my neighborhood, but really, they’re a cheesy trend that needs to rest in peace. 

For those wondering, a Landau top is a term used for a vinyl top/fake convertible look on a vehicle -without any of the fun or function of a convertible top, but almost all of the upkeep hassle.  It’s kind of the automotive equivalent of wearing a dickey.  That said, I like seeing older Landau topped cars.  They always put a little smile on my face when I try to imagine what it must have been like to see this thing back in its day, cruising the streets with an 8-track of disco music blaring though the stereo speakers.  Behind the wheel, there was probably a disco-dancing, leisure suit-wearing, motoring-in-class fancy lad and his date, also clad in disco attire, with her hair all done up like Farrah Fawcett in her Charlie’s Angels days, both ready to do the hustle at the drop of a beat. 

This is a car that speaks of its time, and that time included mirror balls and polyester.  Just look at the interior.. What is that? Velour with Naugahyde trim?  Well, whatever it is, this car is still ready to get down and bring the funk, though its present funkiness might have less to do with being groovy and more to do with strange, mildewy odors emanating from the upholstery.