The Riviera is not so much a muscle car as a “personal luxury car” along the lines of a Mercury Cougar, Cadillac Eldorado, Oldsmobile Toronado, Ford Thunderbird, or Chevy Monte Carlo. They’re meant for some performance, of course, but mostly, they’re about swagger, which is why I often associate them with sleazy guys who use lousy pick up lines in dimly lit bars.
Today’s Riviera has been made into a Box, which if you’ll remember an earlier posting discussing the differences between a Donk, a Box, and a Bubble, is kind of a subset of the overarching “Donk” designation (that in its purest form, pre-dates the 1980’s). The “Box” moniker refers to a car with boxy 80’s design lines that has been outfitted with oversized rims.
This is a 1984-85 model in my estimation and it was parked in the street outside of my neighbor’s house up the block in a no parking zone, obstructing the bike lane… not that anybody in my neck of the woods cares about stuff like that. After all, people aren't supposed to go around shooting each other, either, but that happens with an alarming frequency in my area. In fact, just a couple weeks ago, there was a story on the news about a homicide several blocks up the street from my house that took place in the back seat of a really decked out Box Chevy that I’d often seen cruising the North side. The news crews got to the scene before the car/crime scene had been towed away for processing, and so its image was featured prominently in the news stories. The owner/driver of the car/shooter is okay and isn't being charged with anything, so it would seem it may have been a case of a carjacking gone very wrong for a would-be carjacker. Justified or not, it’s no good to have stuff like that happening. The point is, that in comparison with hauling out a gun and plugging another person with a bunch of lead, parking in the bike lane doesn't seem so bad… I know, I know, slippery slope and what not, but if I let myself get worked up over all the stuff people do around here that they ought not to, I wouldn't have time for anything else.
I've met and talked to the lady who lives at the address where this car was parked, and she seemed nice enough. She likes my dogs and has one of her own which ended up getting shot by the police while they were serving a high risk warrant /raid at her address. The pup survived, but she’s still hoppin’ mad about it and told me all about her intent to sue the police department over it. I don’t know if the lawsuit worked out as well as she had hoped, because I would think if she won a big settlement, she would have moved up out of that crappy rental property, which is still somewhat riddled with bullet holes from an incident the summer before last (or maybe it was last summer) when a guy shot up the house in passing by. I've never talked to the guy who lives at the house with my neighbor lady. While she’s away at work, he can usually be seen sitting on a chair outside the front door all day long, usually in his pajama pants. Cars stop briefly, blocking the bike lane, the occupants approach and they greet each other and exchange pleasantries and whatever else, and then they go on their way. This pattern isn't indicative of anything good, and it would be nice if the guy’s (alleged) stream of income was such that he contributed to the local tax base, but as long as they keep it low-key and there are no more bullets flying around in my neighborhood, it’s not something I’m going to fret about. Though really, having a flashy car like this box Riviera pull up and clog the bike lane isn't exactly helping to keep things subtle and low key, even if they were only stopping by to say hello.
Getting down to the nitty gritty, let’s explore the specs on a 6th generation Riviera. In 1985, the Riviera was a front wheel drive car that could be had as a coupe or a convertible. MSRP on the convertible was right around $28,000. Don't let the blue vinyl top on this one fool you. It's not a convertible, it's a coupe. A Coupe would run between $17,500-$18,500 depending on which engine option was selected. Those options were as follows: A 5.0L V8 that made 140 HP and 255 lb-ft of torque, or a turbo charged 3.8L V6 with 190 HP and 300 lb-ft of torque. Neither one is particularly great in terms of gas mileage, rating around 15 city and 20 highway for the 5.0 and 15 city and 22 highway for the turbo V6. Not bad for its day, but not good by today’s power standards, that’s for sure.
The original factory rims on an ‘85 Riviera were 15”. Just an eye-ball guess on my part is that the rims presently mounted on today’s car are 24”. I like to see flashy cars, but to anybody thinking of outfitting their car like this, I really want to drive home the point that oversizing rims like this is definitely eye-catching, but it’s also very rough on cars. For starters, all the air and rubber that would ordinarily surround the metal wheel and absorb road vibrations and shocks has been reduced to a rubber band type tire, which means a lot more shakes and shimmies make their way through to the rim, which shakes on up to the suspension and can quake and shiver the crap out of the car.
The very street this car is parked along is a rough patch of road (crumbling infrastructure here in Minneapolis, you know) and is rife with potholes. Hitting one of the signature Northside road craters with this car is going to ram what rim hard. It could bend the rim, and/or slam the weight of the car down with enough force to cause the fender and wheel well to smack down against the rotating tire; shredding both. There’s very little travel room left in that wheel well, so it wouldn't take much to bring the two into contact. Even if it’s just the rubber that gets shredded, I promise you that a 24” tire isn't cheap... let's just say that you’d have to spend a lot of time hanging out on your front stoop in your pajammy pants to make up for it.
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