Christmas With A Car Theme

I’ve been on a bit of a break for the holidays, and topped it off by spending the bulk of the past couple days home sick.  Never have I slept so much but still felt so tired.  Today found me feeling better and even in a mood to handle some errands, one of which would be updating this very blog.  I thought I’d recap the family Christmas, because it did end up having a bit of an automotive theme.

For starters, my 4 year old nephew was the recipient of several automotive themed gifts, as per his requests of Santa.  I had the task of assembling two of these presents.  First up was the Hot Wheels Mega Garage or some such mini parking structure that came complete with an elevator in lieu of the regular helix structure that one might drive up and down to traverse ramp levels.  What seemed to take the longest time was applying the many stickers to the ramp.  It made me wonder if I’d find parking downtown as exciting as Lucian seemed to find his new parking garage if the Haaf ramp was adorned with all manner of flaming graphics and decals at every turn instead of “compact only” signs, and “reserved” postings.

The second toy I helped assemble and operate was the Hot Wheels Car maker, which comes with a few chassis on which one mounts little car or truck bodies that one casts using this red plastic machine.  It works like this: one’s nephew selects which mold he wants to use -in this case, it went in this order: truck, car, car.  One pops the mold into the machine, then jams a cylinder of a somewhat hard, wax-like plastic into the top of the machine.  Then, the machine is started.  It makes a bunch of sounds that fascinate people who are under the age of 8, and eventually, it speaks to let it be known that it’s warmed up.  At this point, one presses down the lever, which rams the wax/plastic cylinder into the “furnace” as it were, and from there, the molten plastic is injected into the mold.  This is followed by a series of sounds lasting several minutes while the casting cools, at which point, the door pops open, and the mold can be removed.  From there, one pries the casting from said mold, pops it onto a chassis of the nephew’s choice, and sends him off with a sheet of stickers and decals with which to decorate the newly created vehicle, after which he will proceed to get said vehicle jammed up in the elevator for his new parking structure.

Even my niece got in on the automotive action with her Christmas list.  She had a very specific request this year thanks to some clever marketing on the part of Mattel.  My niece got some Barbie pony thing for her birthday earlier in the year, and when playing with her little friends, ended up watching the DVD that accompanied the toy -it featured some horribly produced cartoon, the plot of which amounted to what I can only describe as ghastly drivel.   The short and sweet of it is that it was a thinly veiled marketing ploy that depicted the very toys she had received for her birthday taking part in some type of activity that involved Barbie and her little minions, Skipper, and whatever the other one’s name is, trucking the horse around to some riding event in a massive pink Recreational Vehicle.   Low and behold, this Barbie DVD just happened to include a brochure that prominently featured the “now available in stores!“ version of this pink behemoth on wheels, which is what my niece produced when asked what she wanted for Christmas.  An RV? I thought; is Barbie pushing retirement or something?  I tried to recommend something more fun or sporty for my niece’s dolls, but she spurned the idea of the Barbie Corvette or whatever offering it is that Mattel has manufactured for their dolls to rack up speeding tickets with these days.  My niece insisted that her dolls already have a VW Beetle (Pink, of course, and so sweet and cutesie-pooh that the mere sight of it practically triggers a gag reflex or a diabetic coma inducing blood sugar spike).  Okay then, an RV was the only thing, it seemed.  Not that it was easy to track down.   I had to go to a few different stores before I even found it, and then suppress a gasp of shock at just how much a hideous pink plastic Barbie RV/horse trailer costs -honestly, I think it may have been cheaper to buy Barbie an ACTUAL Corvette or something.  I’m not even going to say how much I paid for the silly thing, because frankly, it’s embarrassing.  

My consolation came from the fact that at least the pink RV is a motor vehicle of some kind.  And really, what did I expect?  My niece is the type of kid who gets excited about minivans and station wagons at the auto show when there are gleaming super cars and hyper cars just yards away that are far more deserving of admiration.  So, behold the wondrous glory of the overpriced Barbie RV/horse trailer thing.  You might note from the little green creature -I think it is a Brachiosaurus- that the RV is apparently being used to transport dinosaurs in addition to horses, so at least the preposterous little rig has come in handy in Barbie’s paleontology pursuits.

As for my own Christmas presents.  I did get some car themed stuff.  For starters, I got new rear brake pads for my Mustang, which I will have to work on once the weather gets warm again.  Doesn’t sound exciting, but it was on my list and I was happy to get them.  The other car related thing I got was an old board game called Dealer’s choice.  It was made by Parker Brothers in 1972 and allows its players to take on the role of wheelin’ dealin’ sleazy used car salespeople.

I played a couple rounds of it with my family members over the holidays and found that it’s a game that can bring out the lying sack of crap in anybody who takes part.  My brother, Latham, definitely took on the role of double-crossing, fast-talking car salesman, and I dubbed his dealership “Lyin’ Latham’s Lemon Lot”, which was something he found amusing, considering I used to work in car sales for a guy who is now serving a 10 year sentence in prison for wire fraud after cheating Chrysler financial and some other lenders out of millions and millions of dollars.  One lender even won a default judgment of nearly 500 million dollars against the guy -not that they’ll see that money anytime soon… or ever.  I was quite low on that totem pole there, and certainly had no part in the fraud, not only because I don’t relish the idea of prison, but also because I was just a peon in the company.  I did get the notion that something wasn’t quite right, though, and I left when I couldn’t get straight answers about simple stuff and got screwed out of a sizable chunk of money that I earned from the company.

I wouldn’t say I had hard feelings, because in a way, it was a relief to not have to deal with that company.  But for months after I left, I had to put up with seeing that guy’s face plastered all over busses and billboards, which made me bristle like a cat that's been rubbed the wrong way.  Anyway, I felt a sense of vindication when I saw him getting dragged into criminal proceedings.  Actually, vindication might not be the right word for it, because there was a tinge of that spitefully childish desire to just want to see somebody stick it to that sleazy guy.  I suppose I’ll have to settle on a more honest term for how I felt: Schadenfreude -the pleasure of witnessing another‘s misfortune -Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  I was kind of thrilled to see things go down in flames there if I’m being completely honest, and happier yet to find out that my friend JT whom I met and worked with at the same dealership had gotten out before things went down the tube also.  Still, mostly happy about the misfortune….  After all, it’s not often in life that one actually gets to witness Karma whipping back around to knock somebody so deserving on their ass.

Funny how this old board game brought back the memories of my time selling cars.  It wasn’t all bad.  I loved the cars.  Every day, I’d walk the lot and check out the fresh trade row, “shaking hands” with the vehicles on the lot, taking them out for a spin to get to know my inventory, and the thrill of discovery when getting behind the wheel of a car I wasn’t familiar with.  I loved driving the cars, and I loved helping people find a car that they liked.  I hated the lack of transparency I came up against in the business side of that line of work, for good reason as it turned out.  This old game, Dealer’s Choice is fun in that it revels in the sleazy and dishonest aspects of car sales.  I’d say there are plenty of perfectly reputable and honest places and people to buy cars from, but there are also very good reasons why car sales has such a scummy reputation, and for a while, I worked for a living, breathing example of why.    

The game has a total of 25 cars that can be traded and sold amongst the dealers playing.  Of those, only 4-5 have been featured thus far on my blog and even then, the exact years are a bit skewed.  Oddly, the game has 3 different Lincoln Continentals: a ’41, a ‘56 (featured), and a ’71 (sort of featured -I had a late 70’s model on here).  It has a ’71 Cadillac (I know I’ve featured some beat up old Caddies, so we’ve got some span of the 1970s covered), in addition to a ’71 Jaguar E-type, which was brought up in my Harold and Maude post in late October if I recall.  Anyway, I’ll be keeping a look out for cars that match the Auto cards in my board game here, though I suspect if I find them anywhere, it will probably be at good old Ellingson Classic Cars, so I’ve got yet another excuse to keep popping in there for visits.            

Forget the Forenza.

Christmas is nearly upon us; and so it was that I found myself driving southbound on University Avenue earlier this week after some holiday shopping.  I wasn’t really feeling any sort of Christmas spirit, because traffic kind of sucked and the road surface was even worse thanks to packed down snow and ice.  That outlook didn’t improve at all after I ended up following behind today’s featured vehicle. 

As always, pardon the horrible photographs due to the usual slew of excuses: dash cam, nighttime, moving subjects, my lousy photography skills, etc….  I present to you, the Suzuki Forenza.  This one was sporting Missouri plates and its occupants threw no less than 6 pieces of garbage out of their car (fast food wrappers, it looked like) between 37^th Ave and Lowry Ave NE.  Right then, all I wanted for Christmas was to have some way to gather up all the crap they tossed into the street and launch it though the back window of their crappy little car along with a note telling them to pick up their trash and drive it and their litterbug selves back to Missouri.  Alas, my car is not equipped with the road rager catapult option, so I had to just fume at them from afar. 

Let’s learn about our boorish Missouri litterbug’s chosen mode of conveyance, shall we?  The Suzuki Forenza was offered from 2004-2008.  The name is a bit deceiving, because this car wasn't actually built by Suzuki.  It was made by Daewoo and sold in the US as a Suzuki.  They had a decent list of standard features, like four wheel disc brakes, front and side airbags, a decent stereo with redundant steering wheel controls, and power windows and locks.  To top it off, the Forenza came with a 7 year/100,000 mile warranty to entice buyers.  While it may have seemed like good value for the money (the Forenza could undercut its popular competitors like the Honda Civic and the Toyota Corolla by a considerable sum if you didn't load up on options), what buyers got was a car with mushy handling, and boring performance courtesy of a yawn-inducing 2.0L I4 engine with an output of 127 HP and 131 lb-ft of torque.

So, today’s car sucks, and apparently, so do the people in it.  But, let’s not permit that to influence our attitude about Suzuki, a company that sadly withdrew from the US car market recently…. But not before giving us a sedan that more than made up for the soggy mess that was the Forenza.  I don’t have a photo, but if you’re looking for a nice Suzuki, I recommend a little sedan called the Kizashi.  It represented a high note on which to end Suzuki’s presence in the US car market.  Available with AWD, which I love because it is a very useful option to have here in Minnesota, the Kizashi featured a 2.4L I4 with 180 HP and 170 lb-ft of torque.  Standard features included eight airbags, dual zone climate control, a push button start, and a 7speaker sound system with USB input and CD player.  The Kizashi struck a great balance between economy, capability, performance, and options.  Maybe if Suzuki had brought us the Kizashi instead of sending us a Daewoo dressed as a Suzuki in the first place, they’d still be players in the car game.  Bah humbug to those ding dongs from Missouri –they deserve their lousy little Forenza, we’ll take the Kizashi, thanks.

Wintertime golfing with the Ford Five Hundred.

Wintertime in Minnesota may drive people indoors to avoid the plummeting temperatures, but it also presents some activities that one just can’t do in summer, spring, or fall.  Skiing (downhill, cross country, skijoring, skate skiing), for example, as well as ice fishing, pond hockey, sledding, and golfing.   ....Yes, I meant to write that last one -golfing.  For myself, at least, winter time is when I pull out my trusty golf club or iron or whatever it is -I only own the one, which I bought for $1.99 at Goodwill.  Golf club in hand, I make my way to the frozen tundra of my back yard, and I set to work on my frozen dog poo driving range.

Because I have a couple of Great Danes who live in my house and use my backyard as their stomping grounds and personal toilet, there’s no shortage of opportunities to yell “Fore!” on any given day as a swift swing of my golf club sends a frozen blob of Great Dane excrement sailing through the air.  Of course, one has to be careful not to select a fresh doggie dropping -only frozen solid ones will do.  A whack or two with the golf club gives me a chance to work on my golf form while I aim for the corner of the yard where I’m planning on building a raised flower bed next spring.  It’s a win, win, win situation.  I’m entertained for a few minutes, my yard gets cleaned up, and the future site of the raised flower bed will have some fertilizer for spring.  Should you elect to try poo golfing yourself, I accept absolutely no liability or responsibility for an y accidents or disasters that might occur, just FYI.  So, if you get a little over zealous with your nine iron and sent a frozen turd through your neighbor's window, or end up striking a passerby with a dog poop torpedo, it's not my fault -there, that's my disclaimer.

In view of what I use my golf club for, you may have surmised that I’m really not an avid golfer.  It’s true..  But, when I think of golf and consider the fact that I need to write a blog post one of these times, there is a specific car that springs to mind: the Ford Five Hundred, offered from 2005-2007.

Apologies for the super crappy photos in this post.  I spotted this Five Hundred while driving and my dash cam isn't so great at still photos of things that happen to be moving fast, as you can probably tell.   I also have some pictures of a nearly identical car but for the tail lights and fascia.  We’ll get to those in a moment.

As sedans go, the Five Hundred is about as generic as it gets when it comes to looks.  Given that the name is a reference to cars like the Galaxie 500 and the Fairlane 500 (the first car my dad gave to my siblings and I to drive in high school was a 1963 Ford Fairlane 500 two door hard top), one might expect something exciting or surprising design-wise.  Well, surprise! The car is super boring!  It slotted in as a full sized sedan that offered huge interior space without resorting to being the size of a barge.  While its exterior was boring, and its performance even more so, the one thing people liked about these cars back when I was selling them was how much trunk space they had.  Golfers in particular would carry on about how easy it was to fit their golf bags in the trunk.  Some claims indicate that a person can fit 8 golf bags in the space, and I don’t know if that’s true, but I wouldn't doubt it.  

Here's a Mercury Montego of the same era as the Five Hundred.  It is mechanically identical, and aside from the grille, tail light array, and some trim, is outwardly identical as well.  Again, blame the dash cam for the lousy picture.

You might be expecting me to start ripping a new one for the Five Hundred…. And I could, because it was ever so loosely based  on a fantastic concept car Ford made in the early 2000’s called the 427.  The 427 was a rear wheel drive, slab-sided, full-size sedan with strong style lines and a road stance reminiscent of a brick on wheels (albeit a very cool and bad-ass brick).  In a sense, Ford had designed the Chrysler 300.… of course, they didn’t follow through and put it into production, and so the actual Chrysler 300, which sure looks like it was cribbed from the Ford 427 made its splash while the dowdy and tame front wheel drive Five Hundred production car, with its unimpressive 3.0L V6, 203 HP and 207 lb-ft of torque limped its way out of production after a span of just 2 years.

Here's the Taurus that the Five Hundred became after an engine upgrade/transplant, chrome finish faux fender vents, new tail lights, and a new front fascia.
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In 2008, the same car was brought back with a tri-bar grille, which was what Ford decided was the telltale attribute of their latest design DNA.  In the place of the underpowered 3.0L V6 was a 3.5L V6 good for 260 HP and 245 lb-ft of torque.  The car revived the Taurus name plate, which had been set aside when the Fusion took that car’s mid-size sedan slot in the lineup.  Now, the Taurus represented Ford’s front wheel drive full size while the Crown Vic was still hanging on to its status as a law enforcement darling and RWD full size sedan.  

The thing is, I liked the Five Hundred.  It wasn’t exciting or thrilling, but it had a certain serenity about it that I really appreciated.  It wasn’t until I had to take a mini road trip in one of these cars the I really realized this, though.  Before that, whenever I had people come in looking at the Five Hundred, or its twin, the Mercury Montego (later replaced by the Sable name plate revival before Mercury went away entirely), I would always have them also look at a Fusion or a Milan as well, because they were a step down in size, but offered the same 3.0L V6 engine option, and the ratio of size to power was much more satisfying in the smaller car.  After that trip I took though , I started to rethink that strategy.

I had been going back and forth for months with a young guy named Caleb who wanted to buy an F-150.  He was a secretive kind of guy who would only drop clues about what he actually wanted.  Every few weeks, he would pop up in the lot, looking at our inventory.  Caleb had plenty of cash, but he refused to buy a brand new truck, insisting that he wasn’t going to take a depreciation hit like that if he didn’t have to.  He would rather bide his time and wait for the perfect truck to make its way to him than spend the extra cash on a brand new truck that was just the way he wanted it.  He wouldn’t say exactly what configuration he wanted in terms of super cab vs. super crew, long bed, short bed, etc or what trim level he wanted.  He would just say that he would know the truck when he saw it.  I knew he liked nice options like leather interior and heated seats, so I figured it wasn‘t worth my time to show him anything less than a Lariat unless there had been some extra option boxes checked when the truck had been made.  Caleb claimed not to be picky about paint colors, but if you presented him with a color that wasn’t the mystery hue he had in mind, he would turn his nose up at it.

Finally, we took in a practically new F-150 Supercab Lariat in dark green with gold/tan rockers and wheel flares and tan leather interior with heated seats and all the goodies.  I took some pictures and sent out an email with the list of options.   Sure enough, Caleb turned up in the lot at the dealership one night, ready to look at that truck.  We took it out for a spin, he liked it, and we struck a deal.  He upfitted the truck with some extras from the aftermarket department, and we scheduled a date and time we could get it in for outfitting.

So it was that the day came when Caleb’s new used truck was due for its date with the aftermarket department, where it would be fitted with \ a bed liner, running boards, and a Truxedo topper on the bed.  Caleb was at work in a city about 40-60 miles away, and due to some crisis or other, he couldn’t leave to bring his truck in.  It was winter, it was snowing, and the roads were icy and nasty.  I decided after so many months of back and forth with Caleb to get him to just settle on a truck, I wasn’t going to let this get drawn out even further, and I knew he was already unhappy that he had to wait over a week to get his truck in to be fitted with the stuff he ordered for it anyway.  Rescheduling would just push it back that much further, so I decided I’d bring him a different car and take his truck in for its appointment.  I cleared it with management, and grabbed the keys to the first AWD used vehicle I spotted out on our lot.  That vehicle happened to be a nearly brand new jet black Ford Five Hundred Limited with AWD and a Chrome package that included a glittery chrome mesh grille and shiny 18” wheels.  The car had been purchased just a short while earlier by a guy who almost immediately found himself and his brand new pimped-out five hundred in the midst of a storm that produced golf ball-sized hail -kind of appropriate for a car that specializes in transportation of golf equipment, don‘t you think?   Whatever insurance policy this guy had, it was a good one.  It had some kind of clause that replaced his car with a brand new one just like it due to the fact that his original brand new car had taken on damage so soon after being purchased.  So, the first Five Hundred wasn’t totaled, and all the damage was cosmetic, but it was replaced in full anyway.  Our dealership ended up with the original Five Hundred with the hail damage, which our body and collision center repaired so that the thing looked new again, and voila!  

So, I’m driving through a minor snow storm in a loaded -up AWD Five Hundred.  I’ve got the seat heaters going, I’m listening to satellite radio and the navigation system is telling me how to get to where Caleb is with his truck.  I’m suddenly struck by the notion of how calm and lovely it is to be cocooned in a car like that when there was so much foul weather and lousy road conditions outside.  I felt as secure as I’ve ever felt in a vehicle, knowing that it was a big car with plenty of room inside for me, lots of crash space, a great safety rating, and a fantastic feeling of being steady on its feet with its Haldex AWD system working its magic to propel me through the snow.  I felt enveloped in security and comfort, and suddenly, I understood why people would buy a Five Hundred.  It wasn’t a car that was meant for making a scene or a grand entrance.  It wasn’t designed to peel out or race, either.  This car, even with its blinged-out chrome bits was unpretentious.  It was an outright family sedan, meant to safely transport its occupants and their luggage in comfort and security.  Its unassuming design can be considered bland, but it’s also reassuring, because this car isn’t trying to be something it’s not.  It has a job in mind, and it does that task well.  For those reasons, and for how sure footed that Five Hundred was that day, driving to a place I’d never been before through not so great conditions, I love the Five Hundred.  It’s not fast like a Mustang, but that’s not its goal, anyway.  That car was about being steady and sturdy instead of fast and flashy.  I finally got it.

The truck I sold Caleb was nice, but swapping cars temporarily with him and driving back to the dealership in the F-150 made me miss the Five Hundred.  When one of my coworkers sold that black Five Hundred a short while later, I was sad to see it leave our lot.  It had become one of my favorite cars, which is actually saying something considering we had a lot packed with all manner of toys ranging from huge custom lift trucks, to Saleen Mustangs, to the Ford GT on top of our used inventory that included a BMW 7-series, a Maybach, and a range of Cadillacs.  The Five Hundred was one of those cars that had to be experienced in just the right context to be appreciated.  They’re gone now, of course.  The Taurus is still around, and if you’ve read my older post about driving the SHO, you know I’m somewhat fond of it, so it’s not like the passing of the Five Hundred was all that bad.  To be honest, the car could have been better, and it could have been so much more if Ford had taken its 427 concept and ran with it.  But being what it was- a Five Hundred -turned out to be not such a bad thing, after all.        

Owosso Pulse check as we roll at the Dome and end up at the Dale

Here in Minneapolis, things are changing.  One of the most disappointing changes, in my opinion, is that the Metrodome (it’s technically “Mall of America Field” now, but whatever, it’s the damn Metrodome!) is being torn down so that taxpayers can dish out hundreds of millions of dollars to build a new stadium for the Vikings in spite of the fact that the team is owned by a billionaire who could afford to buy his own stadium.

Supposedly, this is done in the name of progress.  I take issue with that.  After all, we’re talking about a city where bridges collapse, dumping rush hour commuters into the cold depths of the Mississippi river, where roadways are neglected for so long that by the time there’s any money to fix them, potholes and cracks are large enough to bend car rims left and right.  So, it is in this economic environment that taxpayers driving around on bent rims over roadways and bridges that are crumbling have been told that they are going to be buying a shiny new stadium for a billionaire, because it’s progress.  But the Metrodome….  It’s an icon.  It’s huge, it seats thousands, has a nice field, a roof that was just replaced a couple years ago after a particularly heavy snow storm collapsed it, and though it may not be all high-tech and brand new, it’s still standing strong and can host events ranging from Vikings games to monster truck rallies.  Why, it’s almost as though the Metrodome is a structure perfectly suited to host large gatherings of people at sporting events -oh wait, that’s because IT IS!

We’re being sold on the idea that this will create jobs.  I’m sure there are stats that have been generated indicating how many people will be employed by the new stadium, but those stats don’t say how many people will be employed at a living wage, full time.  A job that pays enough for a person to support themselves and their family is the only kind of job that actually matters, and everybody knows it.  We just built the Twins a new stadium, and though it’s all new and cool looking, it isn’t generating the pile of money that people claimed it would.

Okay, I’ve raged long enough.  The point is, that I love the Metrodome.  Not really because I love sports, because I don’t.  When you get right down to it, most of the popular sports just involve grown adults chasing a ball around a field or court.  Sure, it’s fun for people playing and for folks who like to watch that type of stuff, but it hardly seems the type of thing that should necessitate stadiums that cost hundreds of millions of dollars.  The main reason I like the Metrodome is because of a tradition that sadly, will end this year when the Metrodome goes away; Rollerdome.

Rollerdome is held a couple nights a week, and for $5, you can go in and skate around in the Metrodome.  The lower level is for your easy-going, more loitering-oriented type of skaters, of which I am one, and the upper level is for speed skaters.  On any given night at Rollerdome, you’ll see a range of people from hard-core speed skaters blasting by while wearing uber-expensive skates with 100mm racing wheels, little kids toddling along on their first pair of skates, roller derby gals shooting the breeze as they roll along on quad skates and rack up some practice laps, couples out on an active date, recreational skaters looking to get a workout, and throwback roller disco fans practicing their moves in old school quad skates.  It’s a great way to get some exercise when it’s too cold to do much outside, and an even better way to people watch.  I love Rollerdome.

So it was that a couple days ago, I decided to go skating.  I invited my little niece, Maeryn along with, because I’ll be taking her brother, my nephew, to the motorcycle show at the convention center in January, and I try to keep things on an even keel with them in terms of Auntie Val activity time.  I decided to kick it old school, and eschewed my inline skates for my super-awesome blue suede quad skates, figuring that with my little niece in tow, it’s not like I’d be going too fast anyway.  

For her part, my niece put together a skating ensemble that she thought would be suitable for her first ever time at Rollerdome.  I insisted that she wear safety gear, and because she’s one of those girly types of girls who loves to accessorize, she had no problem with that.  She did lament my lack of coordination with her outfit, and I had to assure her that if I did own a tutu, I would have worn it so we could be twins.  

I took my niece out for some gluten free pasta and Spumoni ice cream at the Old Spaghetti Factory afterward, and I think she had a good time, because she wanted to know when we would be going back to skate some more.  After I got home, I was putting my skates away when I was reminded of a very specific vehicle.  So, inspired by my roller skates, for today’s automobile, we have a 1986 Owosso Pulse to look at.  Coincidentally enough, the photos I have of the Pulse feature my little nephew, Lucian, who fell in love with the vehicle at Ellingson Classic Cars when I brought him there earlier this year.  Lucian thought the Pulse was a speeder bike from Star Wars.

It kind of does look like my skates, doesn’t it?  And really, Lucian wasn’t too far off with thinking that the Pulse is a speeder bike thingie from Star Wars, because this isn’t actually a car.  The Pulse is what one would call an “auto cycle”.  It’s part car, part motorcycle, and a little bit airplane as well.

The Pulse has a twin sister called the Litestar.  The two are nearly identical but for a few styling cues and different engines.  Both were designed by a guy named Jim Bele, who also designed aircraft.  The Litestar was built in Iowa, whereas the Pulse was made in Owosso, Michigan.  According to the information I remember from Ellingson, there were only around 270 Pulses made.  This one features a 400cc Yamaha motorcycle engine.  It has a sliding canopy like a jet, a steering wheel like a car, but it shifts sequentially like a motorcycle and has a electric motor for going in reverse.  It doesn’t have 4 wheels like a typical car, nor does it have two wheels like a typical motorcycle.  The Pulse has settled on the happy medium between the two and sits on 3 wheels.  Its styling is very jet-like and futuristic, even though this car is over 25 years old now -thus the Jetsons in the display.  This particular Pulse can be purchased from Ellingson Classic Cars for the price of $26,950.  Though it would be a shame to see it go -my nephew would be heartbroken to have it gone from the museum.  And besides, Ellinson’s would have to find some new purpose for the Jetsons family cardboard standies.

So, we started out with me complaining about the new stadium and crumbling infrastructure, moved along to roller skating, then to the Pulse auto cycle….  You might be thinking I’m about done with my tangents.  Well, you’re wrong.  We’re going to take the not so big leap from the three-wheeled Pulse over to another three wheeled vehicle and then off into an area that this blog has been known to venture into before: crime and mysteries.

I was about to wrap up this post when I recalled an article I read in one of my old car magazines.  The April, 1975 issue of Road & Track features a cute little wedge of an automobile on its cover called the Triumph TR-7.  It also has a smaller image of a Bricklin, a car that I find fascinating, but that I’ll have to wait to write about until I get to see one in person.  Oh, but I should stop teasing you and get to the point already, eh?  So, in my old magazine, there is an article on page 108 called “Mrs. Carmichael & Her Dale”.   The article was written just shortly before things went terribly wrong for the Dale and Mrs. Carmichael.

The Dale was a three-wheeled automobile that was being touted as the next big thing in the mid-seventies, ten years before our pulse was made.  Unlike the Pulse, the Dale had one wheel in back and two in front instead of two in back and one in front.  This isn’t the first car with three wheels.  From 1909-1939, Morgan made a three-wheeled car that managed to skirt the British tax on cars because it qualified as a motorcycle courtesy of its light weight and lack of a fourth wheel.  The Dale, however, was definitely NOT like the Morgan three wheeler.  In fact, the dale wasn't like anything, because the Dale, as it turned out, really wasn't ...anything.

Confused?  I’ll explain.  The Dale car was designed by a well-meaning, if not perhaps, too trusting fellow named Dale Clifft.  The vehicle was to feature a BMW motorcycle engine, and a body made of space-aged resin that was resistant to damage.  It would weigh less than 1,000 lbs, achieve 70 MPG, have a top speed of 85 MPH, and would cost less than $2,000.  Doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

All this was being marketed and touted by a gal named Liz Carmichael, who roused investor enthusiasm in the Twentieth Century Motor Car Corporation that would be developing and producing the Dale.  Liz claimed to be a farm girl from Indiana who constructed her first car at age 18 all by her little self.  She claimed to hold a mechanical engineering degree from Ohio State University, and said she was also the widow of a NASA structural engineer whose passing had left her to raise their five children as a single mom.  Well, if that’s not a human interest story in the making, then I just don’t know what is. But beyond that, Liz was bringing something interesting and fantastic to the American public at a time when gas prices were high and people felt desperate for relief.  Low and behold, Liz had just the thing for it; the Dale!

In truth, only 3 Dales were ever produced, and only one of them actually could move without having somebody push it around by hand.  The “functional” prototype was said to feature not the BMW motorcycle engine that had been touted, but a lawnmower engine in its place.  That space-aged resin?  Fiberglass.  All was not as it seemed…. Really.  Liz Carmichael herself had some secrets.  One of which was the fact that Liz Carmichael was not who she said she was. Liz was actually Jerry Dean Michael (I hesitate to call this her dead name because I'm not totally sure her reasons for transitioning were earnest and done in a way to make her feel her true self).

That wasn't the biggest problem though. And besides, it’s a personal matter, so who really cares?  So, she wasn't a farm girl from Indiana, and that single mom spiel was bullshit, because while she did have 5 kids, Liz was their father, not their mother.  There was no dead NASA husband, and the mechanical engineering degree isn't for real either, as far as I can tell.  She never built a car from scratch at age 18 either….  Well, alrighty then, maybe she just got carried away with cultivating her new female identity?  Except that wasn't the biggest secret Liz Carmichael had.  In 1975, Liz was charged with fraud when it was discovered that nobody could or would account for the money investors had been pouring into developing the Dale.  The designer, Mr. Dale Clifft -bless his heart, held out hope, insisting that once the car was produced, things would even out and money would be made.  That never happened.  He only ever made around $1,000 for all the work he poured into that design.

As it turns out, Liz Carmichael was already wanted by the FBI in connection with a counterfeiting operation that she got busted for around 1961 when Liz was known as Jerry Dean Michael, a 6 foot tall, 200 pound man who was father to 5 kids.  Jerry jumped bail on the counterfeit charges and wasn’t seen again until Liz Carmichael surfaced to gather funds for the Dale three-wheel car.  She was found guilty of grand theft and securities fraud as well as conspiracy in connection with the Dale debacle, but managed to procure bail by making a deal with a publication that would put up the bond in exchange for exclusive rights to Liz’s story.  Pulling a page from her old playbook from when she went by the name of Jerry, Liz jumped bail yet again, vanishing for many years.

It wasn't until after an Unsolved Mysteries episode aired in 1989 that Liz was located, living as a flower vendor in (coincidentally enough) Dale, Texas under the name of Kathryn Elizabeth Johnson.  She was rounded up and did 2 years of jail time for her crimes.  Some say Liz died in 2004, and others say she was alive and living with one of her kids as late as 2009.  I don’t know what to believe, but I do know where you can see a Dale.  If you’re ever in Los Angeles, stop by the Petersen Automotive Museum, and you can see one of the three prototypes.

So, from Metrodomes to roller skates, to Pulse auto cycles, to the Dale, to a gender-bending fraudster and over to Los Angeles all in one post.  We have taken quite the journey today.  My takeaway from this is that the Pulse is a neat little oddball, the Dale is just a hot mess, and frankly, I’m happy to stick with my blue suede roller skates for the time being.

Come On Down for a look at the SVT Raptor!

A coworker of mine mentioned that since childhood, he has held an aspiration to play Plinko on that long running staple of the game show world, The Price is Right.  Yet, the prospect of going on the show now that Bob Barker is no longer the host just doesn't seem quite as appealing as it once was.  Another coworker tried to recall a game she liked from the show, and couldn't come up with the name or words to describe it.  I blurted out “is it the lederhosen mountain climber yodeler guy game?” -sure enough, that was exactly the game she was thinking of.  It wasn't a difficult guess, because to be honest, Plinko and the lederhosen yodeler guy game were the only two games from the show that any of us could remember.  Not that it matters, really, because at this point, I can't even recall how we started talking about The Price Is Right in the first place, but I suspect it might have something to do with Bob Barker's 90th birthday return to the game show that was mentioned in a news blurb online.  A google search supplied the proper name for the lederhosen game -apparently, it’s "Cliffhangers".  Personally, I prefer “Lederhosen Mountain Climber Yodeler Guy Game”, but I suppose brevity has its merits, too.

Here's a whole bunch of guys in lederhosen riding on a parade float.  I dug this up from my photo dump just for you.  Enjoy!

It got me thinking of the little lederhosen guy climbing the mountain, and what might make his task a bit easier.  I figured, as long as I need to pick out a vehicle for today's post, I might as well help out our little yodeling friend while I'm at it.  He would need a rig capable of traversing steep slopes and rugged terrain.   As luck would have it, my personal photo library contains not just some shots of old guys in lederhose, it also contains a few examples of a vehicle that would get our little climber to the top of that hill to yodel his little heart out before Bob Barker or Drew Carey could even say “come on down!”.  Let’s give a warm “Yodelayheehoo” to the Ford F-150 SVT Raptor!

You might recall mention of Ford’s Special Vehicle Team (SVT) from previous posts, including the recent SportTrac Adrenalin post just the other day.  In 2010, the SVT took an F-150 and made it into the Raptor.  In other words, they created a truck that is capable of tackling off road tasks like for example, competing in the Baja 1000 desert race fresh off the showroom floor with no modifications.  It can handle sand dunes, jumps and hard landings, steep hills, mountains, rocks, and whatever, really.  The Raptor features Fox racing shocks with 11.2 inches of suspension travel in the front and 12.1 inches of travel in the rear.  It has a grille that was designed to look like a brick wall, and it probably feels like one, too, if you have the misfortune to get in the Raptor's way.  Its stance is 7” wider than its F-150 siblings, and it is outfitted with skid plates, all terrain tires, and 4 non-designated auxiliary switches for seamlessly adding extra goodies to the truck.  A front camera can be optioned to the works to aid with visibility over the hood while scaling steep inclines.

Originally, the Raptor came with a 5.4L V8 under its hood.  Now, it’s a 6.2L V8 with 411 HP and 434 lb-ft of torque.  That’s plenty of power to get our little yodeling friend up the mountain, I’d say.  Right about now, you might be wondering just how much does all this capability cost?  I’d tell you, but where’s the fun in that?  Let’s play a little game of The Price Is Right.  I’ll give you the pricing info on the Raptor’s F-150 siblings at their most basic, and you can try to guess where the Raptor fits in on the stepped price scale.  This way, you can’t just over or under bid the last guy’s bid by 1 dollar to take the win -I always thought that was a real jackass move on the Price Is Right -an effective strategy, but not really in the spirit of the game, you know?   Bid too high, and it’s a long fall off the cliff for your lederhosen wearing little yodeling self.  Bid too low, and you’ll never make it to the top of the mountain.  

Ready?  Hey you, reader… Come on down!  You are the next contestant on The Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price Is Right!

Concentrate now…

Ford F-150s:

XL -Starting MSRP of $24,070.  Featuring a 3.7L V6 with 302 HP and 278 lb-ft of torque.

STX -Starting MSRP of $26,345.  All the stuff the XL has, including the same engine, plus cloth bench seat info display and a CD player.

XLT -Starting MSRP of $29,460.  Featuring all the STX stuff plus power mirrors, windows, and fog lights

FX2 -Starting MSRP of $36,030.  Features a 5.0L V8 with 360 HP and 380 lb-ft of torque along with 18” rims and Sirius XM radio

Lariat -Starting MSRP of $36,680.  Same 5.0L V8 standard as the FX2 plus dual climate control, sync, and leather seats.

FX4 -Starting MSRP of $39,610.  Same 5.0L standard along with 4x4 and Sirius XM radio

King Ranch -Starting MSRP of $43,920.  Same 5.0L standard with all the goodies the Lariat has, plus 2 tone paint, Sony stereo and rear camera.

Platinum -Starting MSRP of $46,945.  Again with the 5.0 V8 standard picking up were the King ranch left off only without the 2 tone paint, plus 20” rims, power running boards, and rain sensing wipers.

Limited -Starting MSRP of $50,025.  Comes standard with a 3.5L EcoBoost V6 that’s good for 365 HP and 420 lb-ft of torque.  Has all the nice stuff that’s standard for the Platinum plus heated and cooled seats, too.

Where do you think the Raptor fits in on this scale?   I’ll give you some pretty pictures of Raptors to look at while you make your bid.

If you pegged the Raptor’s starting MSRP between the King Ranch at $43,920 and the Platinum at $46,945, then you nailed it.  The SVT Raptor has a starting MSRP of $44,035. Sadly, I have no fabulous prizes to award to our winners, but here’s yet another fabulous photo of an SVT Raptor that has been customized by Waldoch to make up for it.

Congrats.  You earned it!

Cold Weater, Cool Car: The Voluptuous Porsche 928

It’s freezing cold outside here in the great state of Minnesota, so I selected an icy blue car for us to look at today.  I found this one sitting in the back lot at a used car dealership along with a few other vehicles that looked like they needed a bit of work.  Outwardly, this vehicle seems intact, but in view of the company it was keeping on the other side of a chain link fence that separated it and them from the cars for sale, I would guess there is some issue that is making this vehicle not quite ready to hit the used car market.  I first spotted today’s car in the early fall or late summer, and I know it continued to linger behind the chain link section for a couple months after that. So there’s a good chance it is still sitting out in the cold as I write this.  Too bad, because I kind of like these cars.

This is a 1985 Porsche 928.  Porsche made these cars starting in 1978 and ending in 1995.  Originally, it was intended for the 928 to replace the 911.  That never actually happened though.  Porsche buyers wanted what they had come to expect from the brand, and the 928 was certainly a big departure from the Porsche equation that purists tend to count on: an air-cooled smallish rear engine and rear wheel drive.   The 928 featured a big, water cooled engine positioned at the front end of the car to spin the rear wheels.  The 928 is meant as a GT, or Grand Touring car.  That is, it is not intended for off the line takedowns of other motorists (though it certainly could put plenty of other vehicles to shame in that manner), but rather, its strength is in cruising at high speeds for a long distance –or what one might call a “grand tour”.  Consider it a more unfaltering approach to spirited driving than the short burst and thrust of a car set up for burn outs and take-offs.  It all depends on how you like your thrills, I suppose; short and (prematurely?) sweet, or sustained and long lasting. 

As a touring car, the 928 placed handling high on its to do list.  To that end, the design included what is known as a Weissach axle to correct oversteer issues, which involve the rear wheels steering a bit to the outside of the turn when cornering at high speeds.  This can swing the rear end of the car out from the tracks the front wheels have set for it to follow and cause drivers to lose control and spin out.  This axle featured a linkage instead of a pivot bushing to guide the rear wheels back to the inner edge of the turn cut, to the position the front wheels wanted them to follow in the first place.  This type of set up is called passive rear steering, and is often accomplished with special bushings that react to the sideways (or lateral) force that would otherwise cause the wheels to want to steer outwardly from the turn.  In the Porsche 928, though, we have linkages instead of bushings.  And the reason I just spent a paragraph writing about it is because I think that passive rear steering is cool. 

I also happen to think that horsepower ratings are cool if they’re nigh enough.  Perhaps we should take a look at some performance specs to see if the horsies match up with the passive rear steering and the cool ice blue exterior of the car.   There were a few different engines that took up residence under the 928’s hood during its production run.  Because today’s 928 is a 1985 model, we’re only going to concern ourselves with that year’s specs.  In this case, it’s a 302 V8 (5.0L) that can take the 928 from 0-60 in 5.9 seconds courtesy of the 288 HP and 302 lb-ft of torque it produces. 

The 928 backed up its GT theme with a 2+2 seating configuration, though as with most 2+2 set ups, that “+2” is more of a really uncomfortable +2 if actual people who happen to have knees try to occupy that space…. Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?  And anyway, who cares about those back seats?  They fold flat so you can fit all kinds of stuff in the rear hatch, like luggage for your Grand Tour.  Better leave some room for extra cash, too, because if you’re traveling a considerable distance, the 928’s fuel economy might necessitate it.  13/17mpg city/highway isn’t exactly stellar, but it’s not like the 928 was designed with hyper-miling in mind anyway.  Fuel economy –pffft!  …and besides, as people here in Minnesota say (often when comparing our state to our neighboring states like Wisconsin –and not just in terms of weather, either); “it could be worse”. 

Brand new in 1985, a 928 would have cost its buyer around $50,000.  This one isn’t for sale yet, but your typical used but not used up 928 from this era (usually with around 100,000 miles or more racked up on the odometer) will probably carry a price of around $10,000-$12,000).  They may not be the Porsche purist’s dream, but 928s have an appeal that I consider perfectly valid nonetheless.  Like other well-loved Porsches, the 928 features curvaceously feminine bodywork that I have talked about previously in a post about the 911, in which I believe I compared that car to a prostitute of sorts.  Well, anyway, because the 928 carries its engine under its hood in front, that left the designers of this car with some leeway in their handling of the 928’s backside.  Going back to the purpose of the car as a GT, they decided to leave plenty of room for luggage and what not and designed an ample and very rounded hatchback butt end for the 928.  The result is what one might describe as the J. Lo of cars (a compliment that cuts both ways).  The 928 has a significant and well-rounded rump which creates a flowing and lovely contrast to the sleek, sloped front end of the car.  The 928’s form combines the razor sharpness of its blade-like front fascia with its rounded haunches and bluntly rotund bum in a way that makes the transition between these polar design lines seem not only naturally balanced, but ideal.  Porsche aficionados can say what they want about it, compared to its more distinguished kin, but if you ask me, the 928’s form is nothing short of voluptuous and completely lovely.  This isn’t some scrawny supermodel of a car, all sinew and jutting frame bits; this is a robust, full-figured design.  If the 911 is akin to Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres’ “La Grande Odalesque” as I asserted in my post about that Porsche, then the 928 is the automotive embodiment of one of Peter Paul Rubens’ ample female forms –his “Venus Frigida” comes to mind most prominently in this particular case.  Indeed, the term “Rubenesque” is a perfect adjective for the 928. 

Apparently, there just weren’t enough Porsche buyers who appreciated a car with a little junk in the trunk, because as I mentioned earlier, the 928 went extinct in 1995… Or did it?   Use your imagination to picture our 928 with some updated styling cues, modernized safety and performance technology, and 2 more doors.  What do you see?  Well, if your imagination doesn’t completely stink, you are probably picturing something that looks a lot like a Porsche Panamera (google it, because I don’t have one in my photo library to show you).  Looks like the 928’s buxom design sensibilities weren’t discarded after all.  They just went away for a bit to come back bigger and better than before (though a coupe version doesn’t seem like it would be a bad idea, just sayin’). 

Snow Donuts and the Ford Explorer Sport Trac Adrenalin.

It's snowing here in Minneapolis.  During the day on Tuesday, we had snow that hit and melted onto the pavement.  After the sun set, the temperature dropped and that accumulated water turned to a slushy, slippery ice mess.  The the flakes of snow that continued to fall didn't just melt away when they hit that ice.  They began to accumulate.  So, we have a slippery layer of snow atop a slick layer of ice.  It's just the type of thing that will cause many a motorist to have to activate their insurance policies.  But, if you're careful and choosy about where you go and what you do, you might just have some fun with the surface of the roadways. When I drove into the parking lot at my gym around three in the morning, I noticed the plow truck had not been through yet.  I took the opportunity and the wide open, vacant, snow and ice covered parking lot to make some experimental snow donuts.  

One might say that this was reckless or careless, but I assure you, this driving was done in the name of research and experimentation.  You see, the large loops of the snow donut in the foreground of this shot represent what type of a radius can be achieved when one does not shut off the traction control before attempting to make snow donuts with a Mustang.  The smaller diameter circles in the background represent the tighter radius one is able to achieve by shutting down traction control....  It's very scientific, you know.  Anyway, I'm not sure I got traction control totally shut off because I was mid-slide when I jabbed the button to shut it off as I moved into the next donut.  Unfortunately, before I could properly complete my experiment, the plow truck pulled into the lot, interrupting my revelry er, uh, I mean, important research, and I had to clear out and just park my car to go to the gym.  On the way home, I found a smaller, empty and unplowed parking lot and attempted some true traction control free donuts for comparison.  That lot was a complete slip n' slide under the snow, so my donuts ended up more like sloppy looking cursive than nice, neat snow loops and circles.  Guess I'll just have to continue to compile my scientific snow donut data another day.  That will probably work out just fine, because it's supposed to keep snowing through Thursday from what I've been told.  

Mustangs aren't really ideal for winter driving, but you can have some fun with them anyway if you don't mind a few controlled slides here and there.  Sometimes, I think I ought to just get a truck or SUV to lighten the driving load on my little green pony.  That brings us to today's vehicle, which is an SUT, or Sport Utility Truck.  This one we have to look at isn't quite so rugged as most like it, but it represents a kind of blend of the type of things I like about a Mustang and some of the advantages of an SUV/truck (it can even be had with a 4.6L V8 like my Mustang has).  So, without further ado....   

Let's have a look at the Ford Explorer Sport Trac.  When I sold Fords, I sold a lot of trucks, but only one Sport Trac.  I was always surprised that we didn't move more of these, because trying to convince folks who already owned one to trade it in on something new was akin to asking them to part with a vital organ or something.  That low turnover was probably at least part of why Ford discontinued the Sport Trac in 2010 after roughly 10 years of production. 

I always liked the Sport Trac, but it was the notion of the vehicle as a compromise that drove its prospective buyers into the driver’s seats of the Ford Explorer or the F150 instead of the Sport Trac.  People who wanted the vehicle for its truck-like characteristics often decided to just go ahead and get a full-fledged truck, thus the F-150.  People who wanted the SUV characteristics bought Explorers.  The logic behind these purchases was that when push came to shove, and the buyer needed the truck capabilities, or the SUV passenger capacity or what have you, the Sport Trac might come up short.  And it’s true, there were compromises made, but the void that the Sport Trac filled was definitely there, it’s just that people didn't realize that it was until after they had a Sport Trac to fill that space.

My take on the Sport Trac is that it’s a perfectly fine vehicle, and capable of a lot of things, from towing and hauling, to just cruising around.  Today’s Sport Trac fits into that second category.  Before we get into that, let’s talk about Sport Tracs in general.  They were made to compete with things like the Honda Ridgeline, the larger Chevy Avalanche, and to an extent, 4 door compact pickups like the Dodge Dakota double cab.  The Sport Trac is based on the Ford Explorer, and having owned one of those for several years, I can say that’s not a bad thing.  I heaped all kinds of neglect and abuse on my Explorer in addition to racking up over 200,000 miles on the odometer before selling it.  The only repair I ever had to do aside from wear and tear stuff like brakes was when I needed to replace a belt pulley –a part that cost me about $30 and 20 minutes of messing around under the hood of the car.  I wasn’t nice to my Explorer because I didn’t find it to be an exciting thing to drive, but it took very good care of me.  In retrospect, I should have held the vehicle in higher esteem than I did when I owned it.  -So, solid underpinnings for the Sport Trac that I can attest to through first hand ownership of a shared platform vehicle. 

The first generation Sport Trac encompasses 2001-2005 model years and offered a 4.0L V6 engine with 210HP and 254 lb-ft of torque.  This engine would carry through as standard throughout the production run of the Sport Trac.  The second generation Sport Trac encompasses 2007-2010.  Did you notice the missing 2006 there?  There were no 2006 Sport Tracs offered.  There were some made in 2006, but they were sold as 2007 model year vehicles.   So, what we are looking at today is a 2^nd generation Sport Trac. 

Second generation Sport Tracs could be had with the standard V6 that I mentioned earlier, or with a 4.6L V8 option with 292HP and 300 lb-ft of torque.  They also featured reinforced frames, updated styling, four-wheel independent suspensions, and some updated safety features.  You could get it in one of two trim levels, XLT, which is nicely appointed but not luxurious, so it comes with things like cloth seats, and then the Limited trim level, which gets you leather seats and similar goodies.  But our Sport Trac for today isn’t just a second generation Sport Trac.  It’s not an XLT or a Limited.  It's something a little more special. 

Around 2007, Ford’s Special Vehicle Team (SVT), built a special Sport Trac for the big custom car/aftermarket tuner show in Vegas known as SEMA (Specialty Equipment Market Association).  This special Sport Trac edition was called “Adrenalin”, and the one in the SEMA show was pretty cool.  It featured a supercharged version of the 4.6L V8 that had an output rating of 390 HP.  It also featured special body work that differed its front and rear fasciae from a regular Sport Trac.  Most of the aesthetic elements of the SEMA Adrenalin carried over into the production version of it, but the supercharger did not.  The grille was painted black instead of featuring chrome bright work.  In profile, the body work below the belt line differed from a regular Sport Trac, too, in that it swept lower to the ground.  This gave the Adrenalin a more slammed, low profile look without actually lowering the vehicle’s stance or chopping its top.  Roof racks were deleted to add to this sense of hovering just above the ground.  The Adrenalin sported 20” polished aluminum rims, front fender vents, and blacked out headlight surrounds within the lighting enclosure to compliment the blacked out grille.  The single exhaust was fitted with a dual tip, so at least it looked like it might be packing some punch even though it had the same power plant options as any other Sport Trac.  The production Adrenalin did have a unique, fully automatic AWD system with no low range, so it was not at all suited for off-roading…. Which is fine because just from looking at it, any fool can see that this is clearly a sport truck.  Inside, there were material specifications that differed from a standard Sport Trac.  The Adrenalin’s gauges featured charcoal gray faces, and the interior upholstery was done in charcoal gray leather.  Brand new in 2008, when the production Adrenalin was first available, starting MSRP on one was right around $43,000.  By the time you upgraded to the V8 and added some goodies, you could end up with a $50,000 truck –a price that people may have been able to justify if it had the supercharged V8, but one that is otherwise hard to account for based on just looks alone –though it is a pretty wicked looking little rig, isn’t it? 

Bottom line according to me is that Sport Tracs are not bad things.  Buying a used one might actually make the idea of purchasing and Adrenalin seem reasonable.   Besides, buying a used one means that the factory warranty is probably expired, so adding something like, say, a SUPERCHARGER (!!!!!) wouldn’t void your coverage because it is already gone (I do hate waste, you know).  I wouldn't mind having a Sport Trac, though I would prefer the accommodations of the Limited model or better yet, the looks of the Adrenalin.  I’ll just take a moment or two to shop around and see what I can find….

Interesting…. The Sport Trac seems to be holding its value better than I expected it would.  A Car Soup search gives me a range from up near $38,000 for a very low mileage 2010 Adrenalin –it’s still under factory warranty, I’m sure, so maybe the seller figures that justifies the price, but it’s just the 4.0L V6, so it’s not like we could recreate the SEMA Adrenalin by adding a warranty-voiding supercharger.  Besides, this one is all black, and I think a proper Adrenalin should be Traffic Ticket Red like the one pictured today, which I spotted in Iowa this past summer (I’m sure that’s not the name of the factory paint color, but it ought to be).  The Adrenalin’s blacked out grille and headlight surrounds don’t pop against a black paint coat the way they do against a bright cherry red.  It’s just gotta be red, I say.  The other regular XLT and Limited Sport Tracs I am finding seem to be falling in at $30,000 on down based on mileage, trim, and mode, year.   A 2010 limited with around 35,000 miles will cost between $26,000-28,000.  Similar year and mileage XLTs cost a bit less.  When we look at models with over 60,000 miles, prices start to fall to around $20,000.  The oldest ones with over 200,000 miles seem to bottom out around $4,000.  A google search brings us a white 2010 Adrenalin in Quebec with 65,000 miles and an asking price of $26,994 (not sure if that’s Canadian or US dollars) and a black 2009 Adrenalin with 139,000 miles for $21,500, from Canada, again.  Both V8 optioned, though.  An Autotrader search brings us a red Adrenalin in the form of a 2009 model with a V8 and 93,000 miles for $22,900. 

Man!  By the time we get this thing and buy and install our supercharger, it’s going to be a rather expensive high-mileage used SUT.  Cool though it may be, I’m not sure I can justify this hypothetical Adrenalin shopping spree if it’s going to rack up that many hypothetical dollars in cost.  It’s getting a little spendy for a used vehicle that isn’t even in production anymore –not to mention the cost of our hypothetical gasoline to run this thing (14/20 mpg city/hwy if we don’t drive all crazy, and a lot less if we do).  Well, I did say earlier that it wasn’t easy getting people to part with these things, didn’t I?  Guess that goes double for the Adrenalin.  For the time being, I'll just have to be happy making snow donuts in my Mustang, which is good for its own kind of adrenaline boost.