Wednesday, July 23, 2014

1965 Buick Electra Complex

It's good to get back to the blog once again.  Much like how I have a tendency to go off on tangents in my blogging, in my life, I find myself distracted and occupied by an assortment of things that often take me away from what I’d rather be doing.  There was an entire saga that played out in my attempt to purchase and take delivery of a small garage like structure for storing my motorcycle.  It’s been resolved now that Lowes has given me a pretty big discount to make up for their bungling of the transaction, but the entire project has also taken up a great many hours of my lifetime in its planning and construction.   Related is the ongoing gradual process of working on my motorcycle, which is in large part why I’ve now reconfigured my backyard and added to my privacy fence area to accommodate my new little moto pet.  I know, excuses, excuses…   So anyway, back to the business of going off on tangents while writing about cars.  Away we go.

Today’s selection was inspired by the UPS guy who delivered a package to my house.  The package contained a brake assembly for my skates.  Long time readers may recall that prior to the horrible waste of taxpayer money that lead to the current construction of the new Vikings stadium here in Minneapolis, I very much liked to go skating at the aging but perfectly good Metrodome.  RollerDome was great fun and good exercise, and now it‘s been torn down so that we can spend millions of dollars building another structure to take its place and perform the same exact function, but supposedly look better while doing so.  We call this progress in spite of the fact that the roadways leading to this shiny new stadium from all over the city are cracked, disintegrating, and pocked with pot holes that can rattle the fillings out of your teeth when you drive over them…  but I digress.


The point was supposed to be about my skates.   I didn’t have brakes on them because at RollerDome, the floors are pretty smooth and it’s not too much wear to just jut out one foot and drag the side of the wheels against the floor in order to slow to a stop.  But there’s no more Dome, and I’ve been itching to take this pair of skates out on the trails.  I have an older pair of inlines that I usually use outside, but they’re not nearly as fast as the RollerDome pair.  So, I ordered a brake kit in order to spare myself from having to buy new wheels when I wreck these from dragging them across rough pavement.   I mounted the brake kit on the skates.  Here is the finished product.


These skates are a fitness skate that uses what’s called a hi-lo set up, which means it uses different size wheels on the front vs. the back positions which is balanced out by the drop in axle placement.   I run 100mm wheels on the back and 90mm wheels on the front, all packed with high performance speed skate bearings.  They’re not racing skates, but they are fast.  This particular skate is made my K2 and its model name is the Electra.

You know who else made a product with the model name of Electra?  Buick.  And the name isn’t all that it has in common with my skates.  The one we’re going to look at today is also pretty fast.  But before we delve into that, let’s talk about the origin of the name Electra.  Those who have read my post covering the Honda Odyssey will recall that we’ve touched on mythology and Homer’s Odyssey before.  Electra is also tied in with the Trojan war, only she’s no relative of Odysseus.  Electra was the daughter of King Agamemnon, a guy who wanted to go to war so badly, he sacrificed one of his daughters; a child named Iphigenia, to the gods in exchange for favorable sailing weather to head out in his war ships.  That didn’t go over so well with his wife, Queen Clytemnestra, mother of the now dead child, Iphigenia, and of Agamemnon’s other kids, Electra and her brother, Orestes.  So, while Agamemnon was off having his war, Clytemnestra took a lover named Aegisthus.  Neither were too happy to see Agamemnon arrive home in one piece years later.  Worse yet, King Agamemnon , the guy who not only traded the life of his child for smooth sailing, further disrespected his queen by showing up back home with a new baby momma: a concubine named Cassandra with whom he had made twin boys.  That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, and Clytemnestra’s rage boiled over.  When the dust settled, both Agamemnon and Cassandra were dead, either at Clytemnestra’s order or by her very own hand -the story varies.

Which brings us to Electra… the original “Daddy’s Little Girl”.  Apparently not too bothered by the sacrifice of her sister, Iphigenia, Electra was a staunch supporter of her father and was royally angered by his murder.  Myth, vs. Sophocles’ version of Electra’s story, vs. Euripides version of the story has this playing out in different ways, but ultimately, Electra either conspires with or has a hand in the murder of her mother, Queen Clytemnestra, as well as her step dad, Aegisthus.

This story is the basis of the “Electra Complex”, a Neo-Freudian theory developed by Carl Jung that more or less says that in a girl’s development, there exists within the child a kind of psychosexual sense of competition with her mother figure for the possession of her father figure.  This complex has its male equivalence in the “Oedipal Complex”.. it is also said to be resolved positively when the child fully identifies with its same sex parent.  Women who do not overcome their Electra complexes are said to maintain a fixation on their fathers and will choose mates for themselves who are similar to their father in many aspects.  I’m not sure what that should mean about a woman to prefers to be single, so perhaps I’ve completely fallen off the Electra complex scale… oh well, I’ve still got the skates  -and pictures of a 1965 Buick Electra convertible.

And so, since you’ve endured my tangents from motorcycle storage to the Metrodome, to rollerblades, to Greek mythology to Neo-Freudian psychology, the reward is that we are now finally on to the Buick Electra.

Electra is a name that Buick used in various forms from 1959 on up through 1990.  The name plate replaced their Roadmaster model in 1959, and was itself replaced by the Park Avenue in 1990.  In 1965, the year of the Astro Blue convertible we’re looking at tonight, the Electra was at the start of its 3rd generation.  Standard power was from a 401 cubic inch (6.6 L) “Nailhead” V8 that produces 325 HP.   That’s what this very Electra features.

-Side note, and not really a tangent, so you know, you can’t count it against me… The engine was referred to as a Nailhead because of the especially small valves  (nail-like in their appearance) that were situated vertically and were teamed up with a cam shaft that lifted the valves quite high, which in turn, produced exceptional torque figures for its day.

Anyway, an Electra could also be had with a 425 cubic inch engine that when equipped with a four barrel carburetor, could produce 340 HP.  But, as previously stated, this one has a 401 Nailhead, so it is most definitely faster than my speedy little inline skates.  It also features a “Super Turbine Drive” automatic transmission, factory air conditioning -which isn’t much to brag about because all that means is that it can’t be recharged without upgrading the system to accept a newer coolant, and only 32,000 miles on the odometer.  It was available for purchase at Ellingson Classic Cars in Rogers for $22,950, but they don‘t have it any longer, which tells me that somewhere, somebody spent some money to buy their very own Electra complex.


I’m not really sure why Buick, or K2 for that matter, decided that Electra was a good name for anything.  After all, the name originally belonged to a gal who committed a shameful act of matricide, and step-patricide (if that’s a thing when it’s in step form).  Though, I do suppose the acorn didn’t fall too far from the tree in ye olde Electra complex.  After all, Electra was avenging the death of a father who had committed filicide in exchange for nice weather, and the other half of her genetic gene pool ended up killing a husband and his concubine, so it would seems Electra was not the product of good breeding.  Well, regardless of whether or not Electra is a good name for products, the products that were named after her are in fact, good; the skates and the car.



Sunday, June 29, 2014

Lightning Strike vs Viper Bite: the Dodge SRT-10 Sport truck

Earlier this month, we took a look at the Ford F150 Tremor, and discussed it in comparison to Ford’s previous sport truck, the legendary SVT Lightning.  I only managed to dig up one lousy photo of a  Lightning from my photo dump files.  Of course, within a couple days of that blog post, I happened to park right next to a beautiful example of a Lightning, so naturally, I took some photos of it to share.


But we’re not talking about the Lightning today, and we’re definitely not rehashing the Tremor.  Ford’s SVT lightning may be the quintessential sport truck among enthusiasts of that vehicle segment, but it wasn’t the fastest or the most powerful production pickup truck ever made in its day.


That distinction (certified by Guinness World Records) was given to the Dodge SRT-10 sport truck, offered from 2004-2006.  That SRT stands for Street and Racing Technology, by the way.


The one we’re looking at today is a bit different from the hard core SRT-10 that set the record.  That truck was a regular cab pickup with a 6 speed manual.  Today’s truck is Dodge’s quad cab version of the SRT-10, which is 350 lbs heavier, has a 20” longer wheel base, and was available only with a 4 speed automatic transmission.  This set up is kind of a compromise between straight up sport truck and functional pickup truck.   The quad cab also came with a trailer hitch and can tow up to 7,500 lbs.  But, before you go thinking that compromise means this is some weak little watered down truck, keep in mind, this quad cab version is still able to pull off scorching burn outs.


Under its hood, the SRT-10 packs a power plant borrowed from the Dodge Viper, an 8.3L (505 cu in) V-10 that produces 500 HP and 525 lb-ft of torque.  In 2005, the base price for an SRT-10 Quad cab was $50,000.  That doesn’t sound too bad if you consider it in terms of Horsepower to dollars.  $100 per horse, as it turns out.


…And that’s not even mentioning the special stuff done to the interior and exterior of the truck.  Inside, you’ll find white-faced gauges, bolstered, racing style seats, brushed aluminum accent trim and special embroidery work on the upholstery.  Outside, the SRT-10 comes with a hood scoop in front, and in back, dual exhaust tips, a big spoiler spanning from one side of the bed to the other, and an aluminum tonneau cover that was standard on the quad cab and optional on the regular cab SRT-10.


The down side of all that power and performance is that if you own an SRT-10, you’ll probably have to fill the fuel tank often and at great expense.  The SRT-10 is rated at 9 MPG in the city and 12 for highway driving.  Drive one of these things the way they were meant to be driven though, and you’ll probably see much lower figures for those MPGs.    To be fair, we’ll work with the 9/12 MPG calculations.  With the SRT-10’s 26 gallon tank, that’s only 312 miles maximum between fill ups, which factored at today’s national average price per gallon of $3.68 will cost $95.68 to take from empty to full.  If you read the last post discussing expensive headlight bulbs, you may recall that for just about that same amount of money, you could buy a single HID Xenon bulb for a Lincoln MKZ, so take that for whatever you think it‘s worth.   In other words, at its most efficient, driving this truck will cost you a little over 30 cents per mile before you start to factor in oil changes and other maintenance costs -not to mention the cost of buying the truck to begin with.  Still, I’d say it’s worth it to have at your command the kind of power that can break a Guinness world record.


Of course, today’s SRT-10 is not new, and as such doesn’t carry a new price tag.  It’s a 2005 model, and though it is now 9 years old, when I spotted it some months ago, it was priced at $20,577.  It looks to be in good shape, and if I recall correctly, the mileage wasn’t very high (I’d be surprised if it was, given how much of an investment it would take to buy the fuel needed to pile a lot of miles on one of these).  So, it’s older but it still looks pretty good.  Its styling doesn’t look dated compared to a 2014 model Ram truck (which is now just a Ram truck rather than a Dodge Ram truck), and it can be had at less than half the price of what a brand new one cost back in 2005.


The Verdict: I’d shudder at the prospect of filling its tank on a regular basis, but I’d love to get behind the wheel of an SRT-10 for a while.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

2014 Acura RLX - Jewel Eye Tech Monster Or Money Pit In The Making?

A couple weeks ago, I noticed that one of the HID (High Intensity Discharge) projector beam headlights in my parent’s Lincoln MKZ was burned out.  They’re getting older and less able to wrench and poke around on their vehicles.  I figured it would be super simple to take care of, so I’d be a good daughter and just handle it for them.  If we’re measuring an offspring’s worthiness of their parent’s tolerance or affection based on the amount of hassle and cost one can endure, it turns out that I’m an extremely good daughter.  For starters, I knew that just to access the headlight socket, I’d have to remove a cover in the wheel well after steering the wheel way over to gain access, then snake my arm up through that opening to reach the bulb socket, at which point, I’d have to blindly maneuver it free of the tangs and collar holding it in place.  It’s easy to do with halogen bulbs (always wear rubber gloves when changing any headlight bulb, by the way), but it turns out that Xenon HID lights are a bit trickier… and more expensive.


I trekked to my favorite O’Reilly Auto Parts store and told them what I needed.  They produced a little box containing a complicated looking bulb that had a price tag of $89.99 (and that’s after I used my discount membership card).  With tax, that total came to $96.54.  For that much, the bulb ought to have a mirror ball effect that plays disco music on command, but whatever.  I sucked it up and paid for the bulb.  Then I got back to the car and set to work, thinking it would be a five minute job.  ….Nope.  Turns out, not only are these Xenon HID bulbs over five times as expensive as halogen bulbs, they’re also about five times as hard  to get into place and get to stay into place than the normal halogen bulbs I’m used to dealing with. I ended up going at it with a two hand approach after opening the hood disassembling the cowls and covers over the headlight assembly. So, I had one arm twisted up into the wheel well reaching up through the opening there, and the other reaching down from the open hood while I stood there looking like I was humping the car’s fender.  It was not a flattering position to be in.


There were a couple of times where I thought I broke the super expensive bulb I just bought because it’s such a tight and awkward working area, but after nearly an hour and a lot of foul language on my part, I got the bulb to stay in place and put everything back together.

The whole experience got me thinking about cars now and how headlight signature is becoming such a big deal.  It always has been good to be able to recognize certain car’s light signatures.  In fact, it used to be invaluable to be able to pick out a Ford Crown Victoria’s headlight signature at a distance before the cop inside the interceptor had a chance to tag you with their radar gun.  More than that, these days, it’s beyond avoiding tickets.  We’re now into functional but highly stylistic light array signatures.  Audi made a pretty big splash with their LED “brows” outlining their headlamp enclosures a few years ago, and before them, there was BMW with its halo lights.


 When I run my Mustang with its driving lights and regular headlights on, even in the dark of night where you can’t see the form of the car itself, the lights, their placement and spacing between them creates an unmistakable signature that it’s a Mustang GT coming your way.  So, as we move from old stuff like enclosed headlights that you buy as a unit for around $12-20 like on my little old MG,


 to Halogen, like my Mustang, to Xenon HID like the Lincoln MKZ in today’s tale of pocketbook woe, and on to LED lights enhanced with fancy lenses, where will it stop?   There has to be a limit to what people are willing to dish out to replace a light bulb, right?  I mean, it’s bad enough that the cars sporting these fancy light arrays tend to be expensive (though the tech does trickle down to entry level stuff in a matter of just a few years usually), now we’re talking a hundred dollars just for the bulb, not to mention having to put up with the frustration of digging around to access where to install it or worse yet, paying somebody else to deal with that frustration for you!  It will probably stop once it hits a critically expensive dollar amount that even people with lots of disposable income gawk at as unreasonable.

This blog has clearly established that I’m a cheap skate.  I like to do stuff myself because I don’t like to spend money I don’t have to, and plus I figure I get a bit of an education out of the fracas once it’s all said and done…  win-win situation for all involved, sort of.  Still, I think the auto industry is already creeping across the line of unreasonable cost for a simple but vital functional aspect of their products: lighting.  To illustrate that point, we’re going to look at a car that has been touting its pretty new light array as a selling point and a feature of their marketing imagery.


This is the 2014 Acura RLX.  It features “Jewel Eye” LED headlights.  They’re supposed to be brighter than HID (High Intensity Discharge) or halogen lights and last longer, too.  On low beam setting, there are 8 LEDs casting their light through 16 lenses that are each aimed to span a wide surface, creating a field of light in front of the car that won’t blind oncoming traffic.

Well, that sounds cool, right?  They’re really pretty, aren’t they?  And they’re supposed to last a long time, so that will save money too, right?  Just pray you don’t ding one up those beautiful light arrays or have to replace an LED bulb in one of them because it will drain a significant amount of money from your bank account to fix it.


I called over to O’Reilly to ask about replacement bulbs.  They were surprised that a car that new might need them so soon until I explained I was trying to do a cost calculation for upkeep.  They didn’t even have the part in their system but the guy I talked to has aftermarket LED lights on his own vehicle and estimated that each bulb costs about $100 to replace.  So, eight low beam bulbs times $100 = $800 to replace all of them at once.  We won’t even talk about the additional high beam bulbs, nor will we factor in the two LED fog light bulbs.  Now, I’m not an Acura owner, but I can’t imagine anybody happily shoveling over $800 just for the parts to replace a burned out headlight… Actually nobody can, because that’s not even what they actually cost.  That $800 figure lets Acura RLX owners off too easy, it would seem.  Here’s why.

Because O’Reilly didn’t have an exact part number or price to quote me, I called over to a local Acura dealership and asked to talk to somebody in their parts department.  The guy I spoke to said you can’t just replace an individual bulb.  If one of the LEDs burns out, you have to replace the entire headlight enclosure.  That doesn’t bode well for the checkbook, does it?

Let’s face this head on, shall we?  How much is it for the headlight enclosure?  I asked.  Brace yourselves for his answer:

“$2,100”

“For each enclosure?”  I gaped.

“Apiece.”  he replied.

So, if you had to replace both headlight enclosures on a 2014 Acura RLX, it would cost you $4,200 (plus tax, and more for installation if you’re not doing it yourself).  You could buy a drivable used car with working headlights for that much money!  


I anticipate that in the coming years, we’re going to see a lot of RLXs driving the streets with one or more LEDs burned out in that gorgeous Jewel Eye headlight display, owing to car owners unwillingness to splash out that kind of money for a headlight.  The Jewel Eye feature will eventually turn into more of a wink, I bet, before anybody spends that kind of money on a factory light show mounted to the front end of their car.

But.. If you buy a brand new Acura RLX, you should have a few years before you need to worry about burning out headlights, and in that time, you’ll have a car that’s pretty high tech.  You’ll pay dearly for it, of course, but still, you’ll have the latest in high tech motoring.

The base RLX comes with a starting price of $48,450 and comes with 310 HP courtesy of a 3.5L V6.  It has a tunes suspension and, something pretty neat; All Wheel Steering, along with those fancy Jewel Eye headlights (a $4200 value!) and a 6 speed sport shift transmission.  It also comes with “AcuraLink” which is Acura’s version of mobile connectivity for their vehicles.  Of the versions of the RLX one can build and price at present time on Acura’s web site, the highest appointed model one can make right now is the RLX with the Advance package, which carries a steep starting price of $60,450.


The car we've been looking at today is not one you can build and price on Acura’s site, though.  It’s the yet-to-come RLX Sport Hybrid AWD that I saw at the auto show this past winter.   The RLX SH-AWD (quite the collection of letters, eh?  Yet another reason why I dislike when cars are given initials rather than actual names).  You can count on it to feature a higher starting price than that $60,450 model, though, and not just because of those fancy headlights, either.   I’d guess the RLX SH-AWD will carry a starting MSRP of between $65,000-$75,000.  For that amount, you’ll get that same 3.5L V6, only this one has a trio of little friends to help out.  There are three electric motors assisting that 3.5L V6.  One in the front and a pair of them in the rear of the car.  That grouping of power plants bumps this RLX up to 377 total HP.  To turn all that power into propulsion, this RLX has a 7 speed dual clutch transmission with an electronic gear selector.  On top of that, it has All Wheel Drive and All Wheel Steering.  All this while achieving 30MPG.    

Here’s my take on the Acural RLX.  I like the idea of the RLX SH-AWD.  I like the idea of being the first owner of one and I bet that for the first two or three years, it will be awesome.  After that, this car becomes a hot potato that you want to trade in, sell, or somehow get off your hands before something major (or in this case, minor, like headlights burning out) goes wrong.  All that neat stuff: the All Wheel Steering, the three electric motors, the dual clutch 7 speed tranny… after some wear and tear, they’re no longer great attributes -they’re liabilities… financial calamity just waiting to happen.  The RLX is great for people who can afford to buy a brand new one and trade it on another brand new one in a couple years.  Until we can determine what the shelf life of these fancy components is, I would not recommend buying a used one without an extended bumper to bumper warranty.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Eleanor and the Cadillac XLR vs. Pizza Squirrel!

Recently, my dear pup, Pavlov (AKA “Mommy’s Little Asshole”) decided that the back porch (AKA my woodworking and resins studio) needed to be airier, and took it upon himself to stick his head and front half through the screen door.


I made a trip to Menards to buy the stuff to fix the screen, and a point of purchasing the thicker, stronger, more expensive, “pet resistant” screen material.  I felt pretty smug and clever for that, but then I saw Pavlov admiring his work after I took the battered and torn screen panel out of the door for repair and realized that he probably felt pretty smug and clever, too.  Here he is, brazenly sticking his head in the opening in the door as if to say “Pet resistant, eh?  We’ll just see about that!”


You might note the side of the flower box in the background of the shot..  See those L brackets on it?  I had to put those in place after Pavlov tried to scale the stucco on the side of the house in pursuit of a squirrel who had somehow gotten hold of a piece of pizza and was trying to stash it in the flower box.  If it had just been a squirrel, or just a piece of pizza, maybe Pavlov wouldn't have put forth so much effort, but a PIZZA bearing SQUIRREL?  Well, that’s a double whammy, and suddenly, I’m hearing what sounds like a wrecking ball hitting my house.  I look out the window to see Pavlov leaping up in the air, clawing at the stucco to lift himself higher like he’s Spider-Dane or something, as he attempts to scale a vertical stucco wall to get at his arch enemy, Pizza Squirrel.  He got his front paws hooked around the edge of the flower box and ripped the whole blasted thing off the side of my house.  Keep in mind, these aren't just tacked on.. These flower boxes were built in when I shortened the windows to allow for taller counters on the interior during my kitchen remodel.


Back to the most recent destruction, though…  Pavlov was very curious about the screen repair project I had going there on the porch, so he hopped through the opening, completely uninvited, probably figuring he would now have unfettered access to the box of Milk Bones I keep on the porch for him.  I immediately blocked his access to the cookies, and instead, made him sit and listen while I lectured him about why we can’t have nice things.  If he looks remorseful in the photo, it’s only because he’s worried he might not get a biscuit from the treat container that I was standing in front of.


I installed the new screen material and put the panel back in the door.  So far, it’s still in tact, and even if Pavlov does leap through this one, I still have plenty of screen material left to fix it again.      

Inspired by Pavlov’s preference for open air porches, I thought today’s post would feature some open air cars.  Get ready for some drop tops, because I’ve got two slick convertibles for us to look at today.

First up, we have a 1967 Mustang that has been done up as a kind of replica of the 1967 “Eleanor” Shelby GT500 from the 2000 remake of the film, Gone in 60 Seconds.  In that movie, the car code named Eleanor was actually a fastback, and it was a bit higher end than this clone.  It was designed by Steve Stanford, and Chip Foose had a hand in bringing that design into real world existence.
 

The Eleanor Mustang featured some unique styling and body work, like flared out fenders, a pair of driving lights centered on the front, custom hood and trunk, and some other goodies like 17” rims.  The movie car featured a 351 cubic inch V8 with 400 HP and a 4 speed manual transmission.

There were actually 12 Eleanors built for the 2000 movie, only 3 of which were actually functional, drive-able cars, and two of them were destroyed in the course of making the film.  That leaves only one actual, real Eleanor.  Just about a year ago, that Eleanor blew everybody away when it sold at auction for one million dollars.  Projected selling prices had been set at around $300,000.


It makes sense that somebody would dish out so much for this car.  After all, it’s been copied not just among other 1967 Mustangs and Shelby Mustangs, but among newer Mustangs as well.  It’s a beautiful car.  


Of course, today’s Eleanor is clearly not the original.  It’s a convertible, to start with, rather than a fastback, though it does have quite a bit of custom body work on it.  This Eleanor clone has a 289 cubic inch V8 under its hood.  The biggest difference is the price.  This one was for sale at Ellingson Classic Cars last year for just under $40,000.  At that rate, one could buy 25 of these Eleanor clones for the price of the real deal.

But, if we’re talking the REAL DEAL, when it comes to Eleanor, then we should really be talking about the original 1974 Gone In 60 Seconds film (which showcases a huge car chase sequence during which nearly 100 automobiles are wrecked or ruined!).  In that feature, the vehicle that bore the code name Eleanor was a yellow 1973 Mustang that wasn't quite so fancy-schmancy as the 2000 film’s Eleanor.  Nor was it as slick and lean.


My photo dump doesn’t have a photo of a 73 Mustang in yellow, but I do have a convertible 73 in powder blue to give you an idea of what the original Eleanor looked like.  And really, since today’s theme is open air, a convertible should do just fine, don’t you think?


And now, time for the bonus car.  Just as Pavlov can’t resist a squirrel WITH pizza, I’m giving you a dose of Eleanor along WITH a Cadillac.  But wait, there’s more!  Because today’s topless Cadillac is kind of a two-fer in and of itself.  To a certain extent, this Cadillac is a chimera, splitting its DNA between Cadillac and Chevy Corvette.  Let’s have a look, shall we?


Ooooh, what’s this?

It’s a Cadillac XLR.  These things were offered for 5 model years, encompassing 2004-2009.  Under their skin, the XLR uses the C5 Corvette platform as the double helix that their design DNA rungs span.  What differentiates this from a Corvette is a lot of things, like the fact that the XLR had its own sheet metal styling (that planar look punctuated by sharp, crisp lines is something that Cadillac has doubled down on in the years since).  Each featured 18” rims, and an aluminum retractable hard top.  The XLR also came with its own interior styling, enhanced by standard features like heated and cooled seats, wood trim, navigation, and side airbags.


Under its hood, the XLR harbored a 4.6L Northstar V8 with variable valve timing that produced 320 HP and was available with a 6 speed automatic or a 5 speed manual transmission.


This one was spotted at Unique Specialty and Classic Cars in Mankato, MN some time ago.  It’s a 2006 model that has 47,000 miles ticked onto its odometer, and it came with an asking price of $32,900, so it’s a bit cheaper than the Eleanor clone we just looked at.


Because there aren’t nearly so many XLRs in the world as Corvettes, I think I’d take the Cadillac over same model year Chevy if offered a choice between the two.  But there’s something that’s even rarer still -and I am saddened to say that I don’t have a picture of one to show you.  The machine of which I write is the Cadillac XLR-V, which has a supercharged 4.4L Northstar V8 that spits out 443 HP and 414 lb-ft of torque and comes with magnetic ride controlled suspension that adjusts extremely fast to maximize handling over whatever road surface it encounters.


With prices below $40,000, neither of the vehicles we examined today are unattainable.  One such as Pavlov might argue that the cars are not nearly as mesmerizing as Pizza Squirrel, but a ride in one of today’s vehicles with the top down and the wind in his face might just change his mind.


Sunday, June 8, 2014

Helmets: Better to have a bucket on your brain than your brain in a bucket

Since I am ever so gradually branching out my automotive interests to include motorcycles, it seemed only fitting that my blog should accompany me in that growth.  Because I’m doing some construction on my bike, I‘m not riding it presently.  It runs, and I suppose I could take it out, but there’s also the matter of only having a motorcycle permit for now, which carries more restrictions than a full endorsement.  I could get the endorsement by taking a written test, but that’s what I did to get my permit, and I’d rather have a hands on learning experience.  I want to take the motorcycle safety course.  It’s a class in which you learn motorcycle riding techniques and safety while on a motorcycle…. There’s also the matter of motorcycle vs. car accidents, which almost never end well.. In fact just last week a friend of mine was cruising around the lakes on his Suzuki Gladius and got hit by a Ferarri F430 Spyder.  He went to the hospital, but he should be okay.  His bike, who knows?  The Ferarri?  Well, I’m sure insurance wasn’t cheap on that machine to begin with, and the rates probably won’t go down now that it has been used to ram into a motorcycle.

There were far worse things that happened to bikers, of course.  The first bike related fatality I remember from this year was on one of the first warm days we experienced in Minneapolis this spring.  It involved a motorcyclist traveling on one of the highways at speeds later said to be in excess of 100 MPH when this state’s shitty infrastructure struck.  The biker rode his bike into a pot hole, sending him and his bike flying and leaving a quarter mile long smear on the highway.  This biker may have been wearing a helmet, but not much else in terms of protective gear.

*a Triumph Thruxton I pulled from my photo dump

Like that accident, last week, the interstates brought yet more motorcycle fatalities.  One of these was along I-94 where it runs through North Minneapolis.  There had been some big biker gathering in Uptown that night, and I suspect that this cyclist was from that group.  They were traveling along with some other bikers when they somehow lost control and put the bike down on the ground at interstate speeds.  The bike and its rider shot across the roadway, with either the driver or passenger on the bike getting run over by at least one car as they skittered across lanes (can hardly blame the motorists for that, though I’m sure it was traumatizing for them anyway).  Speed may well have been a factor, and helmets probably wouldn’t have made much difference.  

*KTM crotch rocket

Then, just last week in my own neck of the woods, North Minneapolis, two guys on motorcycles got hit by a car that started through the intersection where the bikers had the right of way.  One biker died, the other survived.  Neither was wearing a helmet, and nobody involved in the accident, including the driver of the car that hit them, had licenses to operate the vehicles they were using that day.  This accident was the car driver’s fault, but the fatality could have been prevented if the two bikers had taken the safety course that would have earned them the motorcycle endorsement.  In that class, they might have learned about safety gear and what a good idea helmets are.  This accident was at a low enough speed that the dead guy probably would have survived if he had been wearing a helmet on his head when he flew over the car and landed on his face.

What’s worse is that just a day or two later, at the vigil that was held for the fallen motorcycle rider, another biker got hit by a car.  Thankfully, it was a minor accident, so nobody died.

*a Ural with a sidecar

So, lets talk helmets, because of all the stuff you could wear while riding a motorcycle, that’s probably the most important piece of protective gear in terms of keeping you from dying.

In Minnesota, we don’t have a helmet law.  We used to, but then we got a former professional wrestler for a governor years ago, and one of the things he did while in office was wipe out the helmet law.  I don’t really care.  In fact, it’s nice that people can choose, but I really hope hey have a good grasp on the risk involved.  However, in Minnesota, if you only have your motorcycle permit and not the full endorsement, you are required to wear a DOT approved helmet while riding.  The DOT safety approval depends on how well the helmet scores in tests where it is fitted onto a head form with sensors and dropped from varying heights.

Back when I was in high school, I was on the debate team.  My partner, Megan and I would hang out listening to Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, and Stone Temple Pilots (it was the 90’s) then eventually get around to going over our file cards for policy debate.  We had this awesome Samsonite briefcase that we would toss down the staircase at whatever school we were at for tournaments once we were done for the day, in an attempt to test how tough the case was -much like how I imagine one might test how tough a motorcycle helmet is..  It held up pretty well until a tournament at Spirit Lake, Iowa, after which the case burst open, sending our paperwork, case cards, and briefs all over the place.  We were a bit more careful with the old Samsonite after that… Although, Spirit Lake, Iowa  also fits with today’s theme, because Spirit Lake  is where new Indian motorcycles are made (they are retro cool and absolutely gorgeous, but a bit out of my price range at this point, I’m afraid).

*I am in love with this bike... my bank account is not.

Anyway, back to the tangent before I get back to the topic at hand.  Megan’s mom worked for the Medical Examiner’s office in Des Moines, and on one of the days I was over at Megan’s house, her mom had just returned from some work conference about traffic fatalities.  I remember Megan’s mom telling us “If you’re going fast enough on a motorcycle, like highway speeds or faster, it’s not really going to make much difference if you’re wearing a helmet.  You’ll end up looking like hamburger regardless.”  She had some really gruesome photos of some accident scenes, which consisted of highways with streaks of what really did look like ground beef all over the place -the aftermath of a motorcycle accident at high speeds.  The point that Megan’s mom was trying to drive home to us was to just avoid motorcycles all together.  Which is why it was especially and tragically ironic to learn that a few years after graduating, Megan’s older brother, Aaron, was killed in a motorcycle accident.  I don’t know if he was wearing a helmet or not.  When I heard about what happened to him, there were two things that immediately came to my mind.  The first was what a great time we all had when Aaron went along with Megan and I to Iowa City for the Nine Inch Nails concert where Marilyn Manson and the Jim Rose Circus were the opening acts (great show!) in a battered and rusty old lime green Ford LTD land yacht with flip up headlamps that we had to pry open with a stick to get the headlights to work.  The second thing that came to mind was that talk from his mom about motorcycles and wrecks.

Incidentally, when I was an undergrad, I had another friend name Megan who imparted the following wisdom as it had been drilled into her by her parents: "Better to have a bucket on your brain than your brain in a bucket."  I agree.

So, back from the tangent to talk about helmets.  I have two.  I bought a full face helmet (DOT approved) with a carbon fiber finish to it.  I repainted the silver parts of that helmet a matte black because I didn’t like the look of it stock.  Then, I have an open face helmet that I bought at a garage sale last year for $5.  It looked like it had never been used, and the guy I bought it from said he got it for his wife, who decided after one or two rides that she didn’t like being a passenger on the motorcycle with him, so he sold it to me.

It just so happens that my sister needed somebody to watch her kids for a few hours on Saturday while she ran some errands with her husband.  I had been meaning to spend a bit of time that day customizing my open face helmet, yet here I was, agreeing to baby sit.  Well, I always like to bring a fun activity or two to do with the kiddos, so I packed my helmet, some paints, sanding paper, masking tape, and other supplies into a box, then grabbed an old snowmobile helmet I bought at a garage sale and tossed that in, too, along with a solar car kit I bought for the kids previously, and off I went to baby sit.

I arrived at my sister’s house and set up my stuff in the solarium.  As usual, we had the precursory discussion of “Auntie Val’s Cardinal Rules”, which the kids know so well, they can recite them without even thinking..  They are 1) No whining, 2) No crying, and 3) We all stick together.  We can bend the crying rule a bit if somebody falls and skins their knee or something, but it’s mostly in place to prevent meltdown/tantrum situations.


My 4 year old nephew, Lucian, immediately called dibs on the solar car kit, which suited 6 year old Maeryn just fine, because she had been eyeing that snowmobile helmet, anyway.  I explained how to mask off areas where paint wasn’t wanted and set my niece to work on her helmet while I helped Lucian with the solar car.

Maeryn had the basics taped off pretty quick and came back asking what the next step was.  I sent her off with some construction paper and markers to draw out some design concepts for her helmet.  In the meantime, Lucian and I completed the solar car only to find that on an overcast day, it wasn’t going to move much for us unless we held a lamp directly over it.


Lucian was off to play with the car while Maeryn brought over some of her drawings.  Because we had discussed Horse Power earlier, she figured a pony theme might be good.. Then she thought better of it.  After all, when the sky is the limit, why stop at ponies and horses when you could put a unicorn on your helmet.  So, she drew one unicorn for the front of the helmet, and another for the back.


We taped off the entire helmet, then used her designs as templates to razor cut through the masking tape (I handled the X-acto knife)



Then, we set up an outdoor spray area and put down a coat of white primer and paint in one specially formulated for plastic applications.


When that was done, we set the helmet in front of a fan to dry.  Maeryn then set off to conduct some type of “scientific study” on the cat, which I later overheard involved collecting a hair sample, which she and her brother planned to get by using their kiddie safety scissors to snip a lock of hair from the animal.  Thankfully, the subject of this study, a fluffy white cat named “Professor Von Foofenstein” -aka “Foof”, made himself scarce until I was able to confiscate the scissors and explain that the cat shed enough fur all on his own that they didn’t need to do anything other than brush the little beast to get a fur sample.  They got their sample, from which the knowledge gained by studying it somehow led them to develop a new and improved cat toy that they cobbled together from some kite string, a popsicle stick., the handle from a lint roller, and some part of an old Christmas ornament.  More importantly, the development of this new cat toy kept the kids busy long enough to buy me a bit of time to prep and paint my own helmet.


First, I razored off the decals, which left a bunch of stick-um behind on the helmet.


I then used peanut butter to remove the sticky crud (it works really well, you just rub it vigorously with a paper towel over the sticky stuff)


Then, I masked off the helmet but for the snaps for the visor on the front and the stripe I wanted down the center.  Originally, the plan was to have a matte black stripe so this helmet would match with my other one.  I was explaining this to Maeryn and Lucian, telling them that the contrast would be not in color but in how the texture of the finish reflected light to create a visual effect that would look really cool.  To this, my nephew replied “it’s not THAT cool.”  Then, my niece recommended I should use the dark red paint for the stripe.  Well, who am I to argue helmet design with the creator of the famed Unicorn helmet?  Besides, I can always redo it later.


Maeryn gave me credit for making a nice looking helmet, even if it did pale in comparison to her unicorn helmet.  She even offered to model it for me.

And speaking of the Unicorn helmet... After the paint dried, Sharpie marker was used to add in color to the design.  Maeryn decided she liked Sharpies, and took the liberty of using them to add some more flare to her unicorn helmet.
Behold!

The front of the helmet.

The back.. dang, forgot to rotate it.. well, you get the point.

And the designer with her masterpiece.