There’s always something interesting to see over on my side of town, and a late night jaunt provided some automotive fruit that was ripe (perhaps a bit overripe, even) for the picking. You may remember a previous post about a black and orange Harley Davidson Edition Super Duty pickup whose owner said he couldn’t get away with anything while driving that rig -well, I bet he would have gotten away with even less if that truck had a big sign on the back that said “STOLEN”. So, it’s not the vehicle itself that caught my eye. Rather, it was this truck owner’s interesting take on a homemade theft deterrent that shot this truck to the top of the pile for today’s featured vehicle.
What we have here is an early 1990’s model Chevy 1500/Silverado pickup truck. We’ve talked about those before in a previous post that featured what was left of a stolen Chevy 1500 truck and a stolen ATM or two (methinks a pattern is starting to emerge with these trucks). In fact, I still have the front fascia from that first 1500. Today’s truck is pretty beat up and could probably use a new front fascia… I suppose I could offer to sell it to the owner of this rig -but it would probably get stolen after installation.
What would reduce a truck owner to deface their own truck in such a way? I’m willing to bet that at some point (or likely, multiple points) in its life, this truck was, in fact stolen -much like my sister’s Honda Civic and her in-law’s Honda Civic. The local car thieves are not terribly sophisticated, so they pick the low hanging fruit. The owner of this truck probably got sick of having to pay impound fees after the police recovered the truck and resorted to this to keep people from taking it in the first place. Those fees can mount to hundreds of dollars, which is more than this truck is worth. Really though, if you could see the rest of the truck, you’d understand that its “stolen” decal is not too much of a blemish compared to the mismatched body panels, the passenger side door that appears not to latch properly, the rust, and body damage that all contribute to this trucks overall “clunker” look. I mean, this thing is just an oversized load of old washing machines, pilfered BBQ grills, swiped up bikes left carelessly in the yard by children, and old lawnmowers away from being scrapper truck material… or just scrap material even without the load of metal, actually.
But somebody still needs and uses this thing, and to that I say good for you, clunker truck owner. There’s no shame in having an older machine or even a beater. In fact, it’s damn liberating! You don’t have to sweat it if you end up in the middle of a hail storm -who’s going to be able to tell the difference if there’s a few more dents and dings? It doesn’t matter if some a-hole in the Cub parking lot lets their cart go sailing across the lot into your fender. Door dings? Just another dimple to add to the collection that’s already accumulated, I say! Who gives a crap if you back into a tree or your own mailbox? So you go over a bump and a chunk of rust falls off your truck -consider it a spare part you didn’t need anyway. Driving along and feel a sudden urge to take part in a demolition derby? You’re good to roll from the road into the arena, my friend! The point is, a truck in this condition is one that the driver can beat the crap out of without having to feel guilty for wrecking the vehicle… This thing is held together not by nuts and bolts, but by rust and Bondo body putty -it’s already wrecked.
Viva La Clunker!
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