Accidents and Sad Pandas

I’ve skipped a couple days of cars, so to make up for it, here’s a trio of vehicles that were making a ruckus outside at the corner around midnight tonight.  I was sitting in my living room, staying up late watching a documentary on Netflix when from outside, I heard a loud thump followed almost immediately by a second, lighter thump.  I paused my movie and went to the window.  This is what I saw. 

First, I noticed a white Oldsmobile Alero with its rear end all mashed up coasting slowly across the intersection, steering to the side of the road.  Then, I noticed a Taxi Crown Victoria with a mashed up front end stopped at the intersection with its bumper hovering over a scatter of tail light lens remnants and paint flakes on the ground.  Behind the Taxi was a tan Chrysler 300M with the driver’s side front end nosed under and into the rear end of the Crown Victoria. 

The order in which this accident occurred appears to be that the 300M plowed into the back of the Crown Victoria (thus making the loud first thump I heard), which pushed the Crown Victoria into the back of the Alero (making the 2nd, less jarring thump I heard).  Of course, there were more sounds to follow, starting with the fire rig that reached the scene first, blaring its sirens and flashing its lights while its engine made that unmistakable diesel thrum.  Some squad cars arrived after that, and before long, there was an ambulance on scene as well. 

You may note in one of the pictures that there’s a guy down on the ground (I've blurred his face in lieu of rushing outside to ask his permission to use his image).  He was the passenger from the cab.  Apologies for my crappy nighttime photography, by the way.  I just grabbed my point and shoot camera, and it doesn’t have the best aperture for nighttime photos.  Anyway, what’s interesting is that the cab driver was out on his feet walking all over the place and making phone calls, apparently fine by the look of things, yet his passenger did not appear to be doing well at all. He’s a big guy, and it took at least 3 firefighters and a paramedic to get him on a backboard and then lift him onto the stretcher.  Either he’s got some whiplash going on or he’s angling for a hefty insurance settlement.  Who knows?  Hope he’s ok either way. 

I’m fairly certain the guy in the Oldsmobile is in the clear from fault.. After all, he didn’t hit anybody.  He was just stopped at the light.  The taxi is sort of at some fault because he did end up hitting the Olds, though it looks like the cab was stopped behind the Olds, and was also waiting for the light when it was forced into the Olds.  The Chrysler is the vehicle whose driver is probably going to have to deal with a spike in their insurance rates as the vehicle that started the whole chain reaction. 

Oh the dread of insurance claims!  I’ve included a picture of a character I call Sad Panda to illustrate this point.  Sad Panda stands out at a corner near a strip mall and holds a sign advertising discount furniture.  The sign may as well say “buy our furniture or this panda will die!” because Sad Panda always seems particularly forlorn and downtrodden.  See in the photo how he’s lost even the will to stand and dance around, preferring instead to mope on the bus bench.  But that’s not why I’ve included this picture.  The reason it’s here is because the bench that Sad Panda is resting his withered old carcass on happens to feature an ad for my insurance agent.  If I had been driving that Chrysler 300M in tonight’s accident, I can assure you, I’d look very much like Sad Panda when it came time to deal with the insurance company.  I‘m sure my agent wouldn't be too thrilled to have a client who just caused a pile up, either.  Sad Pandas all around, I suppose. 

But what was lost or damaged in this accident?  I’m not going to speculate on medical costs and all the BS that takes place after accidents where people hire sleazy lawyers who advertise on billboards or late night TV, and then  trot around in neck braces to try to snag a big settlement.  Lets talk about the cars and assume that they all had comprehensive coverage instead of just liability.

First up is the instigator:  The Tan Chrysler 300M, which is not to be confused with the 300.  The 300M was sold from 1999-2004 and came with a 3.5L V6 that was good for 253HP and 255 lb ft of torque.  For the sake of simplicity, we’ll assume this was a 2004 model -the last year it was made, and we’ll put the mileage at 100,000.  Kelley Blue Book says that one in excellent condition could be worth around $6,900 retail.  You might have noticed some dimples along the passenger rear quarter panel in the photo.  It’s extremely unlikely that those dents came from this accident, so that excellent status is pretty well shot.  Plus, you can count on the insurance company trying to low ball the client (because at this point, it’s pretty said and done that this car is totaled), so a more realistic settlement would be around $4,500.

Up next is our taxi.  Most of the Ford Crown Victoria Taxis I see around Minneapolis are retired police interceptors (they may be repainted, but the interceptor badge is still affixed to the trunk lid).  I’ve talked about specs on the Crown Vic Police Interceptor in previous posts, so we won’t rehash that.  But how much is it worth?  A glance at what’s for sale on xgovernmentcars.com shows examples as follows: An ‘09 model with 129,000 miles for around $5,500, an ‘07 with 127,000 miles for $4,800, and an ‘06 with 131,000 miles for just under $5,000.  So, a settlement on this Crown Vic would be $4,500-$5,000, I would guess.

Last is the white Oldsmobile Alero sedan.  This car shared the same life span as the 300M that may have just caused this particular vehicle’s demise.  Sold from 1999-2004, the Alero is considered a compact car, and it shares a platform with the Pontiac Grand Am.  Sadly, both Oldsmobile and Pontiac are no longer as brands, so if this one is totaled, it’s not going to be repopulated in the automotive world with a newer model.  In fact, an Alero Sedan was the very last Oldsmobile ever built, and the very last one off the assembly line now sits in a museum. 

These cars came with 3 engine options throughout their manufacturing lives, but since we’re going to assume this one is a 2004 example, I’ll only mention the two that were available that year.   There was a 2.4L inline 4 cylinder with 150HP  and also a 3.4L V6 with 170HP and 210 lb ft of torque.  Assuming a 2004 model year with 100,000 miles, KBB places an excellent example of this car at a value of $6,440.  If it’s totaled (and it may not be -but at nearly 10 years old, it probably will be) I’d bet the settlement ends up at about $4,200-5,000. 

Kind of amazing that an accident that may well have totaled 3 cars probably caused less than $15,000 in property damage to the vehicles with them all being considered totaled.  Add it all up, and you could buy a brand new subcompact car for that $15,000, like a Ford Fiesta or a Smartcar, a Mazda2, a Kia Rio, or a Nissan Versa.  Of course, it’s unlikely that the drivers of these cars are going to pool their insurance checks and share a subcompact together, so unless they add on some extra cash to their hypothetical settlement checks, they’re going to be looking at used cars or bus passes -perhaps Sad Panda will have some company at his bus bench after all.