1977 Ford LTD II: Boogie Nights In The Fresh Trade Row

I found today’s car in the fresh trade row of a dealership the other day.  It‘s a 1977 Ford LTD II.  This car is a bit older than most of the cars it was put out to pasture with, and I was a little surprised to see somebody had traded it in.  Usually, dealerships have no idea what to do with vehicles this old.  It’s not particularly collectible, nor is it in pristine condition (though aside from the vinyl top needing some work, it’s not too bad), so it’s not like it would make a good novelty piece for the showroom.  It’s too old to go on the lot, and no way would it be covered by any warranty. 

When dealing with a car like this, one’s best bet is to sell it privately and use the money gained toward a down payment on a new car, because a dealership is probably only going to give a few hundred dollars in trade for it.  This is an eye catching car, in part because there just aren’t many of them surviving in any kind of decent shape anymore, and also because it’s freakin’ fabulous in a cheesy kind of way.

Under its hood, the ‘77 LTD came only with gas-guzzling V8 options.  The base engine was a 302 cu in (5.0L, roughly) V8 that woofed out 130 HP and 243 lb ft of torque, on up the ladder to the 351 cu in that made 149 HP and 291 lb ft of torque, to the top of the heap 400 cu in V8 that cranked out 173 HP and 326 lb ft of torque.  All of these lovelies would net their driver right around 12-13 MPG while saving their drivers the hassle of shifting via an array of automatic transmissions called the “Cruise-O-Matic” that is by and large considered junk next to its lighter and better-built sibling, the C-4 transmission. 

I’m sure this car will be sent to the auto auction, but hopefully, somebody with an eye for inexpensive, semi-classic cars will pick it up and treat it right by finding it a new owner.  In the shape this one is in, with the relatively low mileage of 76,000 (according to the intake tag in the window -though who knows if the odometer has rolled over once already or not), it’s got a retail value of around $2,000-3,000 if the right buyer can be found.      

The ’77 Ford LTD is a behemoth by today’s midsized car standards, though it was sold as a mid-sized vehicle even as its competition was shrinking in dimension.  Looking at its elongated lines, massive hood and trunk, and Landau top, one has to wonder how anybody drove around in one of these without feeling like some kind of pimp.  That was the trend at the time, I suppose.  After all, this was a car of the disco era, and it had to match all the class of the polyester leisure suit its driver was probably wearing at the time.  And Landau tops?  I occasionally see some aftermarket applications of these on late model Cadillac sedans and Buicks in my neighborhood, but really, they’re a cheesy trend that needs to rest in peace. 

For those wondering, a Landau top is a term used for a vinyl top/fake convertible look on a vehicle -without any of the fun or function of a convertible top, but almost all of the upkeep hassle.  It’s kind of the automotive equivalent of wearing a dickey.  That said, I like seeing older Landau topped cars.  They always put a little smile on my face when I try to imagine what it must have been like to see this thing back in its day, cruising the streets with an 8-track of disco music blaring though the stereo speakers.  Behind the wheel, there was probably a disco-dancing, leisure suit-wearing, motoring-in-class fancy lad and his date, also clad in disco attire, with her hair all done up like Farrah Fawcett in her Charlie’s Angels days, both ready to do the hustle at the drop of a beat. 

This is a car that speaks of its time, and that time included mirror balls and polyester.  Just look at the interior.. What is that? Velour with Naugahyde trim?  Well, whatever it is, this car is still ready to get down and bring the funk, though its present funkiness might have less to do with being groovy and more to do with strange, mildewy odors emanating from the upholstery.