In fact, being outside can be perilous sometimes. Just the day before yesterday, I slipped on some ice in my own backyard while carrying in groceries. I was trying to sidestep this gross puddle of melted snow mixed with mulch and dog poop that had formed on the walkway (my dogs take snow cover on the ground as license to besmirch segments of the yard outside of their woodchip area and seem to enjoy sullying my pavers in particular). I stepped over the festering puddle onto some built up ice, thinking I’d just edge around it only to have my foot slip out from under me. This, in turn, landed me on my back in the very puddle of disgusting liquefied dog doo that I had been trying to avoid stepping in to begin with.
I’m sure that if it had been caught on video and uploaded to you tube or something, it’s the type of thing I would laugh at -particularly if I was watching it happen to somebody else -but somehow, when you’re staring up at the sky from an icy puddle of melted snow blended with a heaping dose of dog turd that’s seeping into your clothes, laughter gives way to a blaze of profanity, followed by a sprint into the house to shed the now soggy, cold, nasty articles of clothing straight into the wash. I spent a few minutes trying to make sure I didn’t break my elbow, which I landed on rather awkwardly. It’s not broken, but I do have a really big bruise from my elbow to about halfway down the back side of my forearm, and now my arm hurts every time it comes in contact with the center console armrest in my car. Yay for spring thaw, eh?
Well, here’s a happy little snow man I spotted atop a Pontiac Vibe while headed to the post office yesterday. Between the thaw and the fact that he’s on the roof of a car, I suspect little Frosty here is not long for this world -and after the winter we‘ve had in Minnesota (and especially after that rather unpleasant spill into the poop puddle) I say good riddance, Frosty!
So, until all the ice and the soppy puddles are gone from my yard, there will be no attempts to accomplish much outside. Between work and home tour prep stuff at my sister’s house, I did manage to find a little bit of time to make a car related project, though.
I started with an old skateboard that was pretty beat up. It used to be a pink Element deck with Krux trucks and spitfire wheels. The trucks were actually in decent shape, the wheels were pretty worn down, and the bearings were just about shot, but I found somebody who wanted the trucks, so I also threw in the wheels once we agreed on a price, then I just had the deck. It was really chewed up, scarred and marred and just plain ugly from wear and tear. So, I decided to turn it into a nice little wall decoration for my pool table/bar room downstairs. I started by sanding down the bottom side of the deck. It took some doing to knock it down to smooth again, and I’m certain it must be quite a bit thinner now than when it started out life as a skateboard.
After that, I coated it with gray primer.
Then, I grabbed some cheap little quart cans of Rust-oleum gloss finish oil based enamel and painted an homage to a certain little green Mustang that I’m rather fond of. The Mona Lisa, it is not, but I think it will look nice mounted on the wall by the pool table.
In light of the skateboard project, it seemed appropriate to feature a car that more or less looks like a pregnant skateboard… I write of the subcompact, of course. I’ve never had much interest in this segment prior to my interaction with my rental Fiat earlier this month, but am now very much aware of the little buggers in their various forms when out motoring about.
We’ve already covered the Ford Fiesta ST on this blog, as well as some extensive use of the Fiat 500 Pop, so for today, we’re taking a look at a different little flea.
At the auto show, today’s car was one of the rare instances where the cheapest model a manufacturer has to offer stole the thunder from the higher end stuff on display… at least in terms of grabbing initial attention. I refer to the Mitsubishi display. That brand’s lineup isn’t particularly stunning to begin with. The coolest thing they make is easily the Lancer Evolution, and there was one on display, but what drew my eye was the brightly painted little cars at the far end of the Mitsi display area.
…But before we talk about that, I’d like to take a moment to point out just how underwhelming the Mitsubishi lineup is these days. I don’t know what’s going on with Mitsubishi, but I fear they will soon be going the way of our little snowman friend from the Pontiac Vibe roof rack… or Suzuki, for that matter. It’s like they’ve stopped trying. For starters, there isn’t a car offered by Mitsi that has fewer than four doors. There’s no low slung, sporty little coupe or roadster to be seen among the Mitsi family these days. Long gone is the 3000GT, slightly less long, the Eclipse. The big, exciting thing (exciting for people who care about it, anyway) is the MiEV plug in electric car, which has all the character you’d expect to see from an appliance that appears to be the result of cross breeding of a toaster with an iPod. Other than that, Mitsubishi offers the Lancer, the Lancer Sportback, the Lancer Evolution, the Outlander, the Outlander Sport, and the Mirage. The first three are all sedans (well, one is a hatchback, but whatever), and the first two of those are boring sedans. The two Outlanders are both unattractive crossovers (I know aesthetics are subjective, but these things just do not look good).
And then there’s the subcompact: The Mirage -Mitsubishi gets credit for using an actual word for a vehicle name, but the name itself suggests something that’s not really what it seems. That could be a two way street. After all, if the Mirage seems like a crappy little car to you, then if it’s true to its name, perhaps it will surprise you by defying that perception. Of course, it could just signify that the thing lacks substance, and that’s hardly something to be proud of.
If nothing else, these little cars did have some vivid paint colors going for them at the auto show. Those colors are a necessity if one plans on actually owning one of these cars, because the brilliant hues distract from the styling, which isn’t horrible, but it does remind me of the late 1990’s model Mercury Sable that my mother had years ago, all rounded at the corners, with a oval theme that seemed to carry through it to the point of being completely overdone. The face of the car is rounded out and smoothed, but there’s nothing there in terms of character. It says clearly that it’s a little bitty car, but it doesn’t state its own identity strong enough to make one want to or able to pick one out of a crowd easily. At least the little Fiat 500 I drove had that going for it. This Mirage isn’t doing anything to set itself apart aesthetically. Though at least the front view is better than the side view in terms of being slightly less generic looking.
The Mirage is an economy car, though, and there’s only so much in the budget for aesthetic design, I suppose. This “Plasma Purple” one carries a sticker price of $16,290 (with destination fee and handling), though the base price for a Mirage starts at $12,995.
There are two trim levels available, the DE, which is the most basic model, and the ES, which includes fog lights, steering wheel mounted controls for the stereo and blue tooth, and 14” alloy wheels. Both trims come with a 1.2L 3 cylinder engine that produces 74 HP and about the same number of lb-ft of torque. I know it’s a 3 cylinder, and that the Mirage is a small car, but that just seems so weak. The little Fiat Pop can whip up about 25 more horsepower, and I complained about that, so the Mirage with 74 horseys would probably be less than inspiring for the lead-footed among us.
There’s a 5 speed manual available on both the DE and the ES, and for about $1,000 more, a continuously variable transmission (CVT) can be had. With this set up, the estimated MPGs are 37/44 for city/highway. My experience with CVTs is that they’re not much fun to drive, so I’d just go straight for the manual and save the $1,000.
The brakes are discs in front and drums in the rear, which again, makes my rental car Fiat 500 shine with its 4 wheel discs. True, the Mirage is a small car without much power, so it won’t take much to bring it to a halt from the relatively low speeds it can achieve in the first place. Still, disc brakes all around would be better.
I decided to visit Mitsubishi’s website and build a Mirage. There aren’t that many options to choose from, so it didn’t take long. The one I built is Kiwi Green, like this one, because you know I love me some green cars!
I started with the ES package, then added parking assist, which gets me front and rear parking sensors, for $450, because driving a subcompact would definitely mean I’d be looking for extreme parallel parking challenges to engage in, so I’d use those sensors. I added the LED illumination package for $185, which gets me blue lighting for the floor and center console. I added this due to my concern that the regular ambient lighting might be that horrible orange color that the Fiat I drove featured. That bugged me, so for $185 of hypothetical money, I’d be happy to save myself the hypothetical irritation of having to look at hypothetically orange instrument panel backlighting. That brought my total to $15,625.
I could have tacked on another $60 for wheel lock lug nuts, but honestly, who is going to steal 14” factory rims off a Mirage?
For $695, there’s an available “exterior” package, which includes front and rear bumper extensions and side sill extensions -which seems to be Mitsubishi’s odd way of saying a body kit or ground effects. In this case, I don’t think they’ll help much, so best to save that money toward a down payment on a different car. Even in terms of cheapo commuter cars, there are better options available than the Mirage. I’d take the Fiat 500 Pop over the Mirage I built any day and for many reasons. Surely Mitsubishi isn’t selling enough Lancer Evolutions to make up for the underwhelming other stuff in their lineup, so why send the Mirage to the marketplace in such an underwhelming state of being? I mean, the bright, happy paint palette helps, but not enough to make up for the other shortcomings. This little car needs a hook or a special purpose that lands it in a neat little niche. Right now, there’s nothing really exciting about them.
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