Thursday, September 12, 2013

Ciao, Milano!

With the exception of yesterday’s Honda, we’ve been delving into some Greek and Roman mythology with our cars lately.  Today’s automotive adventure is somewhat akin to that vein of study in that takes us for a spin in a Mediterranean car, but we don’t really have any mythology to add to it.  Meet our new Italian friend, the Alfa Romeo Milano.  I spotted this little bugger while driving through Minnetonka about a week ago.


What we’re looking at is a little sports sedan that was produced by Alfa Romeo from 1986-1992 and was called a 75 most places in the world in honor of the 75th anniversary of production of automobiles at Alfa Romeo.  In the US, they were imported and sold from 1987-1989 under the name Milano in honor of Italy’s fashion capitol, which is home to headquarters of such brand names as Gucci, Armani, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, and Versace.  That fits, too, as these cars had a tendency to act like divas, demanding constant attention from their owners and mechanics.  In terms of styling, they were cool for 1980’s cars, but certainly not the hottest thing to come out of Italy at the time.


If you ask me, it’s more fun to speculate that the car was named after Tony Danza’s costar of that 1980’s TV staple, Who’s the Boss, which aired from 1984-1992, nearly paralleling the 75/Milano’s production years, Alyssa Milano.  I’m sure Alfa aficionados will deny this, but you have to admit, the timing and naming do match up.   Of course, one could also speculate that the Milano is named after the delicious Pepperidge Farm product that sandwiches a thin layer of chocolate between two cookies….  Mmmmmmm, cookies….
I digress.  Regardless of what it was named after, the Milano is not easy to find here in the US due to the brief span of time and the limited numbers in which they were imported.  However, should one travel to Europe, tracking down an old 75 would not prove too difficult.


The Milano (the car, not the cookie or the actress) was a front engine, rear wheel drive sedan with nearly perfect front to back weight distribution, meaning they handle great.  If you look at the body and block out the greenhouse, you’ll notice that it’s kind of wedge shaped in that boxy 1980’s style with a bit of an upward incline starting at the rear quarter panels and leading to the butt end.  This uptick of the belt line makes up the car’s most distinct design line.


Under its hood, the typical Milano is powered by a 2.5L V6 coupled with choice of a 5 speed manual or a 3 speed automatic for 155 HP and 152 lb-ft of torque.  The engine was designed in such a way that it was complicated to work on and prone to needing work done on it.  These cars also were known for having finicky electrical systems, and working on the brakes was no treat, either, because the rear brakes are situated near the center of the rear axle instead of right under the wheels like God intended for cars.  On top of that, they were prone to rust, which can kill a car’s looks and value in a real hurry.  All this added up to some expensive upkeep.  That’s also part of the reason why in spite of the fact that there were some 4,000 Milanos imported to the US, you’re not likely to see one.  A good many of them got sent to the scrap yard years ago.  Owners who had expectations that included driving the cars daily with even a modicum of reliability got fed up with constant and expensive repairs and threw in the towel with these cars.  The Milano is cute, but only kind of.  It certainly can’t compete with its more attractive siblings like the Spyder.   The style that the Milano has can only make up for so much frustration before it wears thin its welcome.  Had these been coupes instead of sedans, they may have been treasured a bit more than they were, but of course, that was not the case.


Back in the 1980’s, the MSRP for a base model Milano was just under $13,000.  It was offered in various levels of trim.  For that $13,000, buyers got the “Silver” spec trim, which was basic and had a fabric interior.  A step up from that was the “Gold” level and a step up from that was “Platinum”, both of which included air conditioning, leather seating, and power locks and mirrors.  Then there was a 4th variant, offered for sale in the US as 1989 models, which is what we are looking at today.  This was called the “Verde”, a trim level which bore the green “Quadrifoglio” or, four leaf clover emblem.  The Verde included all the Platinum stuff, plus special body cladding and a rear spoiler.  In addition, the Verde featured anti-lock brakes and a 3.0L V6 instead of the 2.5L, for 183 HP and 184 lb-ft of torque.  There were just under 900 Verdes imported to the US, and if you’re going to see a surviving Milano these days, most likely, it’s going to be one of these.  The Verde was better looking and better equipped than the rest of the Milanos that made their way state side, therefore more likely to be appreciated enough not to be sent to the crusher when throwing automotive tantrums that would ordinarily cause their owners to call it quits.    


So, have yourself a Pepperidge Farm cookie, kick back in some stylish Italian duds, watch some 1980’s sit-coms, and be on the look out for four leaf clovers (which are probably more common to find than a Milano these days) and say “ciao” to our new friend, the Alfa Romeo Milano.

No comments:

Post a Comment