Civic vs. CTS-V -original post date 4/10/2013

On the left side of the frame is a rather ratty looking mid-nineties Honda Civic that was trying to race just about everybody at the lights all the way down Washington Ave in downtown MPLS the other day when I was on my way to work. I came upon him a few blocks prior to when I snapped this picture.

The guy in this civic was just itching to prove himself. He pulled up along side my Mustang, gunning his engine, creating that distinct Honda rev that can best be described as akin to the sound that a flatulent hamster might make. Finally, I gave in and paid attention to him. When the light changed, I just took off at my normal clip as the Civic raced and revved but still fell behind. I thought he'd learned his lesson, but then, a few lights later, he weaved his way up to the front of traffic to get beside the Cadillac you see on the right side of the frame.
....That dummy!

Look at the badge on the lower left hand corner of the Cadillac's trunk lid. Do you see it? Hard to make out, but that signifies that this isn't just a run of the mill Cadillac CTS (which would still be able to whoop the Civic, by the way). This is a CTS-V, which means that under its hood, this car is harboring the same engine you'd find in a Corvette ZR1.

Let's take a quick moment to size up our contenders here:

In one corner, with a curb weight of 2,262 pounds, we have a 1996 Honda Civic EX coupe, complete with poorly fitted body panels (indeed, the front bumper seems to be barely attached at all), 14" steel wheels devoid of hubcaps (they probably went the same way as the original front and rear bumpers went), and sagging suspension, armed with a 1.6L 4-cylinder engine that packs 106HP and 103 Lb ft of torque, and is coupled with a 5 speed manual transmission.

In the opposing corner, with a curb weight of 3,850 lbs, we have a new Cadillac CTS-V, looking elegantly sinister with its glossy black paint job, 19" alloy wheels, and sport-tuned suspension, loaded with a supercharged 6.2L V8 that fires out 556HP and 551 lb ft of torque.

So, we've got some yahoo in a civic trying to take down a car that literally has over 5x as much horsepower as he has -and he's doing this earnestly -not even just for kicks -this kid really seemed to think he could pull off a take down of a car like this. Any guesses how this mismatched battle ended up?

Well, if you bet on the Civic, then you probably ought to just give up on life, because it's a miracle you've survived long enough to read this far without falling victim to some ridiculously Darwinian cosmic doom. The CTS smoked the Civic... and the saddest part is, I don't think the driver of the Cadillac even knew he was in a race to begin with. He was simply listening to his music while coasting along in his insanely powerful sedan and just happened to lay waste to a Honda.