So, lets talk a bit about the Odyssey -Homer’s, that is. The Odyssey is named for its principal character, Odysseus (or if you want to get all Roman about it, Ulysses) who, when our story starts, is still not back at home in Ithaca 10 years after wrapping up that whole Trojan war business from the Iliad. He’s being held on an island called Ogygia by a Nymph named Calypso who just can’t bear to part with the guy, even though he’d rather not be there.
Meanwhile, back in Ithaca, Odysseus’ wife, Penelope, who most people are pretty sure is now an unconfirmed widow, is fending off a boorish pack of suitors who are angling for all the land and riches that Penelope and Odysseus own. They’re hanging around Penelope’s place, feasting and partying, and generally blowing through much of Penelope and Odysseus’ wealth with their occupation of the estate. Penelope and Odysseus’ son is grown now and isn’t too happy about the whole thing, but can’t do much about it.
Time for some divine interference, though. Enter the goddess Athena, who starts disguising herself as various people and working behind the scenes to help Odysseus and his family. She gets Hermes to convince Calypso to let Odysseus build a boat to sail home, because when you’re stuck on an island, having a minivan -even a Honda Odyssey- doesn’t do you much good if you need to cross the sea to get somewhere.
So, Odysseus builds himself a boat and sets sail. Problem is, Odysseus has made some enemies with all his warring and what not, including the father of a Cyclopes named Polyphemus who is pretty pissed off about Odysseus poking out his son’s one good eye. Just so happens that Polyphemus’ dear old dad is Poseidon, god of the sea. You can see how this bitter resentment might not bode well for somebody who is trying to take a boat trip. Sure enough, Poseidon sends a massive storm that ravages Odysseus’ boat. Thankfully, the gods who don’t bear a grudge against Odysseus intervene and he survives the storm ,washing ashore on a land called Scheria. Here, the royal family takes him in and eventually discovers who he is, at which point, they help him get back home to Ithaca.
But, all is still not well in Ithaca. After all, Odysseus’ house is still occupied by a bunch of ill-mannered moochers. Odysseus is in disguise so nobody aside from his son knows it’s really him (Homer seemed to like situations where his characters were all incognito -I’m not sure why), and he takes part in an archery competition that his wife Penelope (who suspects that the stranger is in fact her husband) set up, with the grand prize being her hand in marriage. He wins the competition and proceeds to shoot the rest of the suitors with his bow and arrow. He ends up in a confrontation with the families of these suitors later, but after that, all is well in Ithaca, and the Odyssey draws to a close.
We’ve already established that the Honda Odyssey is probably no good for crossing water, but had Odysseus been able to get his hands on one in his story, he probably could have shortened Homer’s epic by quite a few pages just by speeding up his mode of transport over land. He could have used the Odyssey to tow the Trojan horse into the city of Troy, even. After all, it does have a 3,500 pound towing capacity, though he‘d have to spring for an extra $936 for the trailer hitch add-on, plus another $15 for a 2“ hitch ball.
I took a gander at the Honda website, and it seems that for an extra $174 on top of the $210 for the roof rack and another $163 for the cross bars, Odysseus could have his Honda Odyssey outfitted with a kayak attachment, which would have given him some sea-going capability -maybe even enough to get off Calypso‘s island. And you know, with all his warring and battling, and blinding of Cyclopes, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for Odysseus to pop for the on board First Aid Kit option for an extra $31. Since he’s kind of roughing it anyway, he might as well throw in the $382 tent option that gives him a special camping tent that pops out and attaches to the back of the van. Considering these Odyssey minivans cost between $28,675 and $44,025 before one starts to add on all the stuff I just wrote about (the price range reflects the array of trim levels available), it’s probably a good thing those suitors who were mooching off Odysseus’ estate didn’t blow through all his wealth, because these things can get a bit spendy.
What does Odysseus get in the minivan that is his name sake? Well, all trim levels of the 2013 Odyssey feature a 3.5L V6 engine that cranks out 248 HP and 250 lb ft of torque, and provides fuel economy of 18/27 MPG city/hwy. That seems a bit weak to me, and certainly not befitting of a warrior like Odysseus who is already having to overcome the whole soccer mom stigma of driving a minivan in the first place. Consider an engine discussed in a past post about the Ford Taurus SHO, which also has a 3.5L V6 engine -only with the addition of twin turbos (Ford has termed this “Ecoboost“) that whip up 365 HP and 350 lb ft of torque at the same time as they provide 17/25 MPG -and that‘s with AWD too!. Even a regular Taurus 3.5 V6 without the turbo can make 288 HP and 254 lb ft of torque while providing 19/29MPG. To be fair though, we are comparing a minivan with a sedan here. When we move into the Ford Flex, which is a wagon/minivan/crossover vehicle of similar size to the Odyssey, those same engine specs apply, but MPG does suffer from the added weight (16/23 MPG for the Ecoboost with AWD, and 18/25 for the naturally aspirated version).
Odysseus also gets front wheel drive -only. There is no AWD option for the Odyssey, so lets hope that Odysseus can avoid having to do too much off roading or traversing of tough terrain, because his minivan can’t handle that stuff well. He does get a 21 gallon fuel tank, so he could get a travel range of up to 567 miles… oh, but wait, there were no highways back in ancient times, and nothing at all when we’re talking myths. Better stick to the city driving MPG estimates, which knock him down to a range of 378 miles. But for those 378 miles, he can haul lots of stuff or lots of friends. Odysseus’ minivan has nearly 150 cubic feet of cargo capacity. If he ever wanted to build another Trojan horse, he could sure use his van to haul the lumber for it.
Lastly, Odysseus would get mad respect for his ride from the minivan sect. I am told by minivan people (friends with kids) and my own sister that a Honda Odyssey is considered the crème de la crème of the minivan world. Who knew? I look at the thing and see a grocery-gettin’, kid haulin’, toddler totin’ soccer mom mobile, but to people with kids or crap to haul around, the Odyssey is an object of envy and desire. Looks like Odysseus can hold his mythical head up high and proud for having this vehicle named after him after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment