Regulations and citations

It’s a weekend, and I overslept, missing out on the event I was planning to attend today.  I’ll go another time, I suppose, but in the meantime, I thought I’d talk about one thing I did accomplish (yesterday), which was finally getting around to renewing my license plate tags.  I could have done it via mail, but I don’t trust the turn around time, as I put this off until the last minute, more or less.  So, yesterday, I spent a little while steeling myself for the inundation of screaming babies, misbehaving unsupervised kids, and grumpy adults that populate the waiting area at the DMV.  Amazingly, there wasn’t a single caterwauling infant in earshot, nor any naughty kids tipping over brochure stands while their parents look on as if it’s perfectly acceptable for their offspring to act like coked up rock stars trashing a hotel room in public, nor did any of the adults seem on the verge of having a meltdown.  I was in and out of the DMV within 10 minutes, though I left there $133 poorer than when I walked in. 


Then, today, as I was writing the paragraph you just read (unless you skipped ahead to this one -in which case, shame on you!  I put about 2 minutes of thought and 3 minutes of work into that, so show some appreciation why don’t you!)….  As I was saying, while I was writing that, I noticed some commotion outside my house.  Low and behold, the police pulled over a guy on a motorcycle.  From the way they converged on him with sirens and lights on, two squads coming from the east on 26th and another squad from the North on Fremont, I would guess that they were after this guy either because he evaded the cop who originally tried to pull him over, or they were receiving several driving complaints about him prior to locating him.  Either way, I’d be willing to bet this all started off with the guy on the speed bike doing some bonehead thing like blasting through a residential area at 90MPH (happens all the time around here), or nearly hitting some kid. 

So, these two things are leading up in a rather round about way to the automotive topic of the day, which is regulations and citations. 

Take our motorcyclist for example.  I’ll bet that he’s probably going to get handed a ticket for reckless driving/racing on street or highway (MN statute 169.13.1b) which will mean he has to show up in court…or the same statute only the “a” version of it for reckless driving-willful or wanton disregard for safety, which also means he has to go to court.  They’re both misdemeanors.  Of course, they could go a bit easier on him and cite him for Careless Driving (MN Statute 169.13.2) which will cost him $178.  There’s also an array of speeding violations that start off at $145.  If he happened to do this on a school day he probably would have blasted through some school zones, which is a violation of 169.14.5a(b) and has a fine of $212, same amount for speeding through a work zone.  Either way, no bueno. 

We’ll go over some more fines and citations, but before we do, you may be wondering why the cars I’ve selected for this post are all black.  That’s because in my experience, driving a black car is more likely to get you pulled over than driving the same exact way in a car of a different color.  Black paint, when clean and polished is perhaps the most beautiful and elegant color to have on a car, but it comes at a price.  I should know.  The very first speeding ticket I ever got, back when I was 16, was in a black car.  I racked up several while driving my black Jeep and one or two while borrowing the black Infiniti M30 coupe my brother used to own before getting wise and switching to a different color. 

Aside from the fact that green is my favorite color, there’s a reason I insist upon owning green cars.  I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket while driving a green car.  I’ve been pulled over plenty, but always let off with a warning (which seems fair, because I don’t drive crazy, I keep my car well under control, and I make a point of not endangering anybody with my road-going antics, so any ticket given to me would really just be a technicality, which doesn’t seem in keeping with the spirit of why we have laws and ordinances to begin with).  I did get a parking ticket once in my previous green Mustang, but it wasn’t even for how I parked, but rather because my license plate had a frame around it -I contested the ticket, removed the frame, and saved myself from paying the $108 fine.  Green is the way to go people -I’m just sayin’. 

So, I’m trying to think of things that I see on pretty much a daily basis while driving my typical circuit around Northside and downtown.  I’m tempted to arrange these on a grid so that next time you’re out and about, you can look at the drivers around you and play citation Bingo, but that would probably get you a fine for distracted driving or something.
Here are some to consider:

*Driving in a bicycle lane:  Statute ordinance code (SOC) 169.18.7d  -fine: $128
*Following a vehicle more closely than is reasonable or prudent (tailgating): SOC 169.18.8a -fine:$128
*Improper turn -at intersection-wrong lane: SOC 169.19.1 -fine $128
*Improper change of course or fail to signal- SOC 169.19.4 -fine $128
*Improper signal to turn (probably also covers people who drive with their turn signals perpetually blinking)-SOC 169.19.7 -fine: $128
*Driver fails to yield right of way when approaching an intersection: SOC 16.20.1 -fine $128
*Passing vehicle stopped for a pedestrian: SOC 169.21.2 -fine $178
*Fail to yield to a column of school children: SOC 169.21.2 -fine $328
*Unsafe opening or closing of vehicle doors: SOC 169.315 -fine $128
*Vehicle lighting: parking lamps in lieu of headlamps prohibited: SOC 169.48.1b -fine $118
*Muffler required: SOC 169.69 -fine $128
*Seat belt required: SOC 169.686.1a -fine $103
*Cracked windshield -obstructs proper vision: SOC 169.71.1a(2) -fine $118
*Frost or steam on windshield prohibited: SOC 169.71.3 -fine $118
*Side or rear windows with less than 50% transparency (+ or - 3%) -window tint: SOC 169.71.4(a)(3) -fine $128
*Vehicle load not properly secured: SOC 169.81.5 -fine $138 -this one would apply to pretty much all the scrappers who troll the alleyways on a daily basis with their trucks overflowing with metal debris.
*Exhibition driving: SOC 930.065 -fine: $145 -this would include burnouts and donuts-so shame on me, I guess.
*Drive without headlamps from sunset to sunrise: SOC 169.48.1(a)(1) -fine $118
*Television installed in vehicle -images must not be visible to driver: SOC 169.471.1 -fine $118
*Use of wireles communications device -compose, read, or send electronic messages while operating a motor vehicle: SOC 169.475.2 -fine: $128
*Fail to stop for a stop sign: SOC 169.30(b) -fine: $128
*Fail to yield to a funeral procession: SOC 169.20.6 -fine $128
*Fail to obey lane markers/signs: SOC 169.19.1(f) -fine $128
*Intersection gridlock/stop or block traffic -for those conversations that just can’t wait for you to pull over and park your car: SOC 169.15.2(a) -fine $128
*Speed in alleyway: SOC PB9-54 -fine $118
*Driving wrong way down one-way streets or alleys: SOC 474.240 -fine $178
*Illegal use of horn: SOC 474.130 -fine $128 -this includes honking for pretty much any reason other than to prevent an accident.  So, no honking at your friends to say hi, no laying on the horn instead of walking up to your carpool buddy’s door to let them know you’ve arrived, and no honking to show somebody you’re angry.
*Drive on the sidewalk: SOC 427.140(a) -fine $145

Some of these seem like no-brainers, but keep in mind, each of these exist because somewhere, sometime, somebody did a bonehead thing and created a need for an ordinance or statute to exist.  Drive safe, my friends, and keep your tags up to date, your license valid, and your insurance current.