Oettinger VW GTI

I delayed posting today until after my 3 month follow up LASIK eye exam at 2pm in Edina because I figured I’d spot something interesting while in that neck of the woods.  Sure enough, as I was leaving, a black Ferrari went by in the opposite direction.  It’s probably not surprising that by the time I whipped a u-turn to catch up and take a photo, the Ferrari was long gone. 

I was kind of bummed out by losing that Ferrari, but as long as I had turned around and gone off route, I decided to stop by the Super Target to pick up some groceries for dinner.  To access that particular store, I had to traverse 3 mini roundabouts, which was easy enough, but really, really pointless.  Roundabouts, especially itty bitty Edina roundabouts are a trend that can’t expire soon enough if you ask me.  Half the people attempting to use them seemed confused as to proper roundabout etiquette (here‘s a hint for folks who need a clue -like the lady in front of me -don‘t stop in the roundabout because you see other vehicles going in your same direction nearby.. That defeats the purpose of the whole thing!), and the other half were frustrated that they couldn’t just go in a straight line and turn into the drive for the shop they wanted to use instead of orbiting some silly little circular planter thingy first. 

The Super Target had all the stuff I wanted, and I even picked up a new kind of gluten free flour to try out for my homemade egg noodles -they did not turn out well at all, unless you like your noodles to have the taste and texture of a mouthful of sand.  I’m not kidding; they were god-awful.  I‘d like to attribute this culinary failure the gluten free flour, but if I‘m really being honest, it probably had at least something to do with my cooking skills or lack thereof.  Then again, we can’t all be good at stuff… Take the check out guy at Target for example.  He bagged my groceries in a way that even I know is wrong, and I’ve never worked in a grocery store in my life.  The guy placed my eggs and plantains at the very bottom of the bag underneath the juice and flour I also bought.  I hadn’t planned on having scrambled eggs or mashed plantains, so after I paid for my groceries, I repacked them myself. 

I used to give my sister a hard time because she insisted on bagging her own groceries even at stores that have dedicated bag boys.  Her high school job was at a grocery store, and she’s really particular about how to pack stuff in the grocery bag, to the point that if I’m shopping with her, she won’t even let me help her.  Even when little clubs and groups have fund raisers in partnership with stores and bag groceries in exchange for a tip/donation to their cause, she’ll pay them to NOT touch her groceries just so she can pack them how she wants them.  After today’s Target experience, I can see why.  I would have been pretty angry if my eggs had squashed and dripped all over the trunk of my car. 

I was putting my groceries in my trunk, when suddenly, I spotted today’s little gem in the parking lot nearby.  It’s no Ferrari, but it’s still pretty cool.  I present a (2009-2013) VW GTI… but not just any GTI.  This is a GTI modified with Oettinger accessories.  Oettinger is a German tuning company that modifies Audis, VWs, Seats (a car brand not available in the US market) and Skodas (also not available in the US market).  The only place I’ve ever seen Oettinger stuff is at the SEMA aftermarket show -and even then, it wasn’t in person, but on the internet.  I don’t know if the owner of this VW ordered Oettinger stuff and had it shipped over and installed in the US or if they bought an Oettinger modified GTI and shipped it over, but either way, they’ve got a GTI that looks wicked cool, don’t you think? 

So, a base VW GTI has a 2.0L turbocharged 4 cylinder engine that cranks out a more-than-ample 200 HP and 207 lb ft of torque to propel what is a rather small and lightweight little car to begin with.  Oettinger offers two stages of tuning to soup up the base GTI.  Stage one bumps that 2.0L 4 cylinder by over 100 HP to a whopping 305 HP with 295 lb ft of torque.  Stage two takes that a step further with a larger intercooler and ram air intake paired with a special, high flow sport exhaust to 330 HP and 317 lb ft of torque. 

I have no idea what stage of modification this particular GTI represents, or if it’s just wearing the Oettinger body kit and decals but lacks the functional modifications that its appearance would suggest it has.  Given that I spotted it in a rather moneyed suburb where one is apt to share a parking lot with Bentleys, Ferraris and Maseratis, I‘d be willing to bet that its owner could afford to spring for the expense of equipping this GTI with the muscle to back up the look.  I mean, this thing is practically begging for a speeding ticket!  To my thinking, getting a glimpse at this little whip while I was leaving the parking lot makes up for losing the Ferrari, having to re-bag my groceries, and the crappy noodles I ended up making later on with those groceries.  Auf Wiedersehen, Oettinger GTI!